Hailings of Pink

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MythicalYoko 12/09/2009 9:02 am

S'me again.
Still continuing my studies in Japan- I did get new headphones but it didn't turn out too well. They broke within the first month so I had to get earphones. /: And my tablet doesn't work, either...
Anyway I'm studying for a test tomorrow. Well. Today technically.
Onward: The play actually went off pretty well. The fact that it was so bad made it good. I had low expectations myself but as it turned out we got the whole crowd to laugh at us so we did our duty well, I think.
I ain't got a lotta time to type anything out today. Just know that I'm doing fine, I think. Break is coming soon and I really want it to come sooner. Ready to just about lose another screw or two at the moment.
Well... aah. I have a lot to talk about but for some reason it just isn't coming at the moment. So. Yeah. I'll have to come back here and type something else in another time. Then again maybe a short update is good... I really, REALLY do write way too much up here. ><;
Well, I'm off to bed (soon at least). Hopefully I'll be able to sleep. Sometimes I get pestered but otherwise I seem to sleep pretty well here, insomnia aside.
Bye then.

MythicalYoko 10/23/2009 7:02 am

Okay, back now. Finished practicing the play (which was a bit of a disaster but hopefully everything will turn out alright when we perform) and then had some dinner. Now one of my dormmates is straining my hair. She really likes my hair which, I can tell you, amuses me quite a bit.
Anyway, here in Japan, as I said before. Tomorrow I'll be going into a nearby station to replace my headphones and maybe get a new tablet. I think I'll have to stop at the ATM first but I should be alright.
I'll also be joining up a D&D group. I can't remember if you did D&D or not. You may or may not have enjoyed it, I'm not sure. In any event it seems like it'll be pretty fun to do, even if I am finally crossing one of the last lines to becoming an ultra nerd. sweatdrop
Well, unfortunately I ain't got much else to say. I did do some pottery a few weeks ago and I'm curious to see how the thing I made turned out... I also saw a play and it was very, very well done. When I was there I couldn't help think of you.
I think I'll just end this here, Pink. I'll talk to you later.

MythicalYoko 10/23/2009 3:41 am

Hello Pinky. :3
I'm still in Japan. I've been busy here and there but today I got to relax a bit. I had to make some costumes, though, using paper mache or however it's spelled to make wings and then paint something. You see I'm going to be in a play. I'm only in the chorus but there's still costumes to make and being in the background as an extra is an important job. I've done it for so long, too, that I'm pretty sure that I'll be doing just fine.
We'll be doing the Lion King. I'm going to be ostrich in the beginning, then a hyena, a tree and then an ostrich again. Most of the play will be in Japanese but there are going to be parts that are in English and Be Prepared will be in French. We'll be doing rehersal in like ten minutes, actually, so this message won't be all that long.
I do kind of wish that I'd put myself on the directing team, though, 'cause these people obviously don't know what they're doing. >< And I've got some acting experience underneath my belt that I probably could've used to make this play better. Probably not as much as you do when it comes to the stage but still. Ah well... it's too late now. We perform in only a few days and right now we're just smoothing everything out to be sure that when we perform it won't fall apart.
In other news my tablet is messed up. It makes me really quiet sad since I draw with the thing all of time. Haha, you'd probably love my art if you could see it now. I'm still not the best but I've definitely gotten better since two years ago. I bet I could've done some stuff for your comic by now. I remember... initially me and a bunch of other people were going to continue your comic. But, in the end, it never happened. People always get motivated and burn out. I'm not blaming anybody, either, 'cause I was one of the people who burned out myself.
Aside from my tablet breaking my earphones also broke. I was so happy 'cause I've been wanting to throw them away for a few months now but I've had to wait about four days to go into town and buy some new ones. As excited as I am I can also barely wait because going without any music for these passed few days has been surprisingly painful. I miss my music. Even though in this open area in these dorms everyone plays music I miss having my own music to listen to. I could probably play music without headphones 'cause most of the people here do so but I dislike being an inconvenience... although I guess it wouldn't matter to anyone else here. I'd just bother myself, I suppose.
I have to go to practice now. I'll be back.

MythicalYoko 09/19/2009 7:36 pm

Yo.

Myth here again. Also, I'm sorry for stretching the page. My comments here are so long that they've even reached the pictures you had posted up.... ><; Eeh.

Anyway, I'm here in Japan now. I think I've been here for about three weeks so far. Almost a month but not quite. It's been wonderful here thus far. I don't really suffer from any homesickness but it's not much of a surprise. I can't remember the last time I got homesick, save for the one time that I was at an all-week camp during the 4th or 5th grade. Otherwise I've been doing fine out here in the land of cherry blossoms. Albeit I haven't seen any cherry blossoms nor will I until spring comes. I'll have to wait several months to see them but something tells me that it will be well worth the wait.

The full four seasons are also going to come here. It may not mean that much to you since I think you experienced them (although I'm not sure how hot it got up there) but since I've been living in the desert for about three or four years now so far I've really only experienced cold and hot. Aside from the temperature there's little change. But here in Japan the leaves change color like fire, snow falls, cherry blossoms bloom and then everything turns green and restarts the cycle.

Now onto a subject I know you'd love: The electronics! Quite frankly being here makes me feel as if America is in the stone age. Even their cheapest phones seems to more up-to-date to the best phones I've seen in the states. The public transportation system here also works great. Everything is really expensive but for some reason the PSP and PS3 cost less than they do in the states. Yet for some reason games that would cost $20~$30 in America cost over $50. I'm not sure how it works but I'd really love to save up for a PSP or PS3 if I can. I'd kill to play the upcoming Kingdom Hearts games, you know? Also I went to an electronic store that had over seven stories. Not all of it was games but honestly... it was just incredible. The first floor had CD's and games, the second had alarm clocks and those sorts, and the other floors varied from traveling goods to washing machines to computers to anime figurines. The girl that I had partnered up with and I only had about an hour to go through the store and it was hard to time ourselves because we probably could have spent well over thirty minutes on every floor just browsing.

I've also been exposed to a bit of history while I've been here. After some traveling me and my fellow international school mates were taken to a beautiful place called Nagoya Castle. I wish I could have been there during the spring to see the cherry blossoms there but I'll have to live without it for now. Anyway, Nagoya Castle was tied in with some history that I know of. Apparently it's rumored to be the birthplace of Nobunaga Oda. I'm not sure how familiar you are with that historical time in Japan but he is quite the famous man. It was an interesting museum that had different Japanese weapons and armor. They even had a small version of the samurai armor up on display which I'm guessing was supposed to be worn by young boys who were samurai-in-training. (Everything was in Japanese and since my vocabulary and reading is poor I could understand absolutely nothing that the signs below the displays said.) They even had displays up of what various shops of that time period would have looked like.

And yet another subject you'd love: Food. While everything in Japan is expensive for some reason the food isn't- and it's DELICIOUS. I have no idea how they produce such fantastic food but it's incredible and it's cheap. The only thing I've disliked here so far are some white buns with bean paste in them. Otherwise it's all good. Especially the fruit. The fruit is just... amazing. Not to mention huge. The grapes here are easily double the size of a quarter. It's frightening how massive they are. I do have to admit that the fruit is expensive but they're so large that the taste is worth the pricetag. They've also got ramen stalls here. I visited one and I thought it was delicious but according to some Japanese locals the food there isn't that good so apparently I'm still missing out. I still plan on visiting a ramen bar while I here. I know that there's one nearby and I'm shamed to say that I haven't actually gone to eat there yet. But, I'm planning on it, as I also love ramen (perhaps not as much as you did) and my sensei back in the states practically made me swear to eat at one.

School here has started but they've already gone into a holiday week (I don't know why, it seems pointless but I'm not going to complain about a lack of school work) but on Thursday school will start up again. The teachers here don't all speak very good English but at least I don't have to worry about my fluency in Japanese when it comes to that.

For now this all I want to talk about. I'll post here again when I feel the time is right. I miss you, Pink.

MythicalYoko 08/29/2009 10:30 pm

Hey there Pink.

I've got some news for you- everyone else pretty much knows this by now (I think) and I figured I'd let you in on it too.

I'll be going to Japan this Monday. I'm going to be going as an exchange student. I'm a sophomore in college now and when I come back I'll be a junior. It's going to be an entire year in Japan.

I know if you could talk back that you'd be flipping out. You'd think I would be too but I'm not excited or anxious about it all that much yet. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my moments of feeling nervous but I won't be really affected until I'm sitting on the airplane to Japan, probably. It's going to be a twelve hour flight. /: And with my two connecting flights added on it's going to be a total of sixteen hours sitting on airplanes.

More than anything else I'm curious about the people I'm going to meet. I know so little Japanese that I really won't be able to communicate for a long while, just listen. The classes I'll be taking are going to be every weekday for more than two hours each. I'm going there to learn how to speak the language, you see, so it's an intense language program. They're going to be stuffing Japanese into my head and I want them to. I'm just worried about how much my head will hurt, y'know?

So, yeah, an entire year. I don't really see myself getting homesick, just stressed from the new environment. I've moved around so much and unattached myself to so many people it seems to barely affect me now. So when I go there I doubt I'll miss people; although there are, of course, a few exceptions.

I guess I'll see what happens when I get there, hm?

Oh, by the way- I went to Otakon. I think you would've seriously enjoyed yourself. Especially with cosplaying. I can see you going as Yo (that's his name, right?) or Sasuke- or whoever else you would've become a fan of at that time. I cosplayed myself. Not my first con (first con I went as Haku), more like my third, and I went as Chrome Dokuro from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I was pretty unpleased with my cosplay (especially my prop, ugh) and I know that when I get the opportunity I am definitely going to cosplay as her again. I went dressed up in a mafioso type outfit with my hair layered in temporary hair dye, pins and tons of hair spray to make it stay in place and a prop that I made myself. Prop broke midway through and I ended up just taking the rest of it and ripping it apart and throwing it in the trashcan. It felt pretty good to do that. xDD I think that the next time I go as Chrome the only thing I'll change is the prop- I might just end up ordering it off of e-bay, unless I happen to get better at that type of crafting by then. I'd change her make-up too and I'll probably end up getting a wig even though I'd prefer to use my own hair.

So, yeah. Otakon was pretty amazing. Alika-chan, a friend of mine I don't think you ever met, bought me a Kurama action figure against my will. Even so I love it anyway. Mm, I met a few people I'd been wanting to meet a lot and learned something important as well. Lots of stuff. Bought gifts and lost one, unfortunately.

I've got two more nights left here and right now I'm burning up one. Once I get off the computer I'll be laying down and waiting for two to four hours waiting for sleep to come. I think I might just take Tylenol PM to knock me out. I'm getting pretty tired of my stupid mind and insomnia and I figure that with just two nights left I can spoil myself with sleeping pills.

And I've gotten better with drawing as well. Wish I could show you.

I should probably wrap this comment up now. I'll probably end up playing Solitaire or Mahjong to fill up the lack of company and general lack of things to do right now. I could play guitar but I'm not feeling the burn or restlessness in my fingers to play.

Oh. And someday I'd like to play the violin... add it to my small list of instruments that I can play.

G'night.

MythicalYoko 07/04/2009 11:55 am

Happy 4th of July, Pinky.

MythicalYoko 04/11/2009 11:26 pm

Alright, not completely- but y'know what I mean, right?

MythicalYoko 04/11/2009 11:25 pm

Y'know what?
I get it now.
I get it.
My feelings were so confused before, but I finally just realized it completely- what I had wanted to say and wasn't sure how to say it.
I won't carry you with me because I felt guilty.
I will carry you because I love you and you, Pink, will always be my friend.
It's still deeper than that, I assure you. But now I understand what it was that I was trying to say- I won't carry you because I felt guilty over your death.
Not to say that the pain is still gone. It's still there, I assure you.
Happy Easter.

MythicalYoko 04/07/2009 8:20 pm

Wasn't I surprised to see you on the Early Show.

MythicalYoko 03/29/2009 12:13 am

Well, today is the day, Pink.

It's odd to think that it was only two years ago. It already feels like much longer.

I'm here and yet I'm not really all that sure on what it is I want to say. I was playing a game and as I was doing so I was thinking about what I was going to put here. It was worded perfectly and now I just can't really remember what I was going to put. I hate it how things turns out this way....

Anyway. I'm going to say what I want to say. Maybe it's better said without every word already picked and primped.

I can't carry you anymore like I used to.

I can't hold you in my heart in the same way. I can't live my life because it's, "he would have wanted you to be happy." I can't live each day in your memory to experience what you can't.

Not because I'm not strong enough to do it. It was a painful and tiring thing to do, even when I felt happy, and I could continue doing so because that is the person that I am. But because someone important once told me, "you know, you don't owe him anything."

Those single words are what opened my eyes and in some sense, set me free. I can't even begin to thank that person enough and when I did I don't think they understood what it was that they had said to me. Because you, Eric, chose to take that gun and set that bullet in your brain. You were the one who decided to take your life and you were the one who decided to leave me and everyone else who cared about you behind in the worst way that you possibly could. You could have done nothing else worse to betray me. Nothing you could have ever done could have hurt as much as killing yourself did.

However... I won't leave you behind, either. I can't tell you whether or not I hate you. I love you but the pain I feel when I think about you sometimes is even worse than when I was a little girl who wanted her daddy. For a lot of this month I was at a loss because I didn't know what I should do with your memory. Should I just forget you? Decide not to forgive you?

Eventually I realized that even though you took and broke something precious to me that I can't just forget you; even if it hurts. I will carry your memory and I will wear pink for you, but not because I owe it to you. You are my lesson, you are my pain, and I can't forget either of those.

It's difficult to explain that I also will continue to carry you because I care about you. I love you, even- it's impossible for me to not have loved you when one considers how much time we spent together. We weren't always joined at the hip, per se, but to say that we weren't very close would be an outrageous lie. You were someone I loved and respected over so many other people.

I will carry your memory with me; I will continue. But this life is mine and I won't let you take it from me.

"You don't owe him anything." I thought I would cry when I saw that, something I never do to the point that my family thinks it's strange.

I wish so much that you were still here. Not with me, but for your family. Because if I hurt this way... I just can't even begin to imagine their pain. That day you could have left Gaia and never spoken to me again and I would wish that a thousand times over if I thought that it would come true.

I will never forget you or what God told me. And I can't let myself forget the promise I made, either. I had forgotten over the years and it took me looking back into my old journal entries and look at what I wrote to even remember.

And, I must work on to forgiving you for what you did. Because if I can't forgive you... this pain will just get worse. I have no idea how long it will take. A long time, I think. I still don't know why you did it, only that you were in enough agony to decide that it would be better off if you died. I will also carry you with me because I don't know how I can't take pity on someone who was that hurt. Not all people deserve pity, sometimes it's an insult. But you deserve pity, and for that, I will still take care of the pieces of you that I have left. Taking care of people is what I do... and even if nothing that I do will ever reach you, I must do it for you as well.

I don't know what else I can say... I still don't feel that I've explained myself correctly but at the same time I feel that if I were to go on I'd just be repeating myself. It's the right time, too, because I just spent more than twenty seconds will my hands still and eyes staring on the screen.

I'll speak to your profile again. I don't know when.

Goodbye.