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The Tragic Tale of Billy Joe
written by:
Shondra Payne
Austin Hawkins
Dalton Rex
Samantha Jenkins
ACT ONE
One evening Ma, Pa, and Billy Bob Joe are sitting around the dinner table eating their meager supper of grits and craw fish...
Pa: Son, I been thinking–
Ma: Don't hurt yourself.
Pa: Hush woman I think I found the right man to take over the family business: Billy Bob Joe
Ma: But Pa, what about Billy Joe's problem ?
Pa: Yeah, I know he's a lil' bass akwards in the noodle, but...
Billy Bob Joe: I'm sitting right here
Pa: Good Billy Bob Joe, I want you to take over the family business
Billy Joe: But I don't wanna' I wanna' be a Nashville star
Pa: The probability of you succeeding to reap Nashville of all probable benefits is slim to none and the idea is preposterous. You ain't gon' do it
Billy Joe: But Pa Oprah said I could be a star
Pa: There that boy goes again with his crazy talkin' agin I'ma slap you upside the head with this here cauliflower
Billy Joe: But Pa The sky's the limit for a talented pair of pajamas like me
Ma: Billy Joe, have you been takin' them purple pills the doctor give you for that crazy talk that been goin up in yore head?
Billy Joe: Yes, Ma, but the voices give me such great ideas
Pa: If you keep thinkin yer a pair of pajamas, you'll never get anywhere in life.
Billy Joe: You don't get me, Pa All you care about is the cauliflower You don't care 'bout my feelins none *Billy Joe storms off to his room*
*Ma sneaks up to Billy Joe's room and quietly knocks on his door.*
Ma: Billy, it's your Ma, can I come in an talk to you?
Billy Joe: Go away Ma, my feelins be hurtin.
Ma: Billy Joe, I belives in you, son. I don't care what yer Pa be sayin; I do believes you can go places with that voice of yers. *Ma slips a $5 bill under the door.*
Billy Joe: *In the rush to get the money, he smacks his head off the door.* Gosh darn it, I done did hurt my elbow agin.
*Lights dim on stage.*
ACT TWO
Over night, Billy Joe jumps out of the window into a wheelbarrow of cheesy-cauliflower.
Billy Joe: Good thing Oprah told me to put this here. Don't know why she told me to put cheese on it...
*Scene fades and enter Pa the next morning.*
Pa: *knocks on Billy Joe's door.* Billy Joe, you best get up and tend the cauliflower *knocks again* Boy Get out of bed *Breaks door down* Boy I told you to get your lazy butt out of bed Now you done made me get violent *Sees Billy Joe is gone* Ma Dem Yankees is back 'n they done took Billy Joe
Ma: You idgit The Yankees ain't back, the boy run off to Nashville
Pa: Woman, did you know he was gone do this?
Ma: Yes I did because I believe in our boy. I believe he can be more than just a cauliflower farmer.
Pa: Grab your coat Ma, we're gonna go get him. The boy thinks he's a pair of dang burned pair of pajamas He ain't gone make it to Nashville
Meanwhile, Billy Joe is attempting to thumb a ride to Nashville. He's carrying a sign that says I won't kill you. He bumps into a fellow hitch-hiker: Bella Lugosi
Bella: You better watch yourself, boy I'm a vampire and I'll suck yer blood
Billy Joe: That's alright; I'm a pair of pajamas, so I don't got no blood.
Bella: *laughs* I like you, yer funny
Billy Joe: Would you care to partake as my companion on my journey to the wondrous metropolis of Nashville?
Bella: Sure, why not? I ain't got nothin better do do.
ACT THREE
As they begin their trek, Bella teaches Billy Joe to sing as a wondrous country star.
Billy Joe: Hey look Nashville is only ten miles away
Bella: Let's thumb a ride to get there quicker.
Billy Joe: Okay 8B
After three minutes of walking, a man with a Grizzly Adams beard pulls by in a red pick-up.
Grizzly: Where y'all headin'?
Billy Joe: We is headed to Nashville
Grizzly: Well what a coinkerdink I'm headed there mesself Hop on in the back, I promise I won't eat cha'...yet. *evil laugh*
FF to Grizzly dropping them off in front of the Oprey House in Nashville.
Grizzly: There ya go, chillins Just remember who helped ya get here afore ya gots famous
*They wave good-bye*
Bella: He smelt funny...
Billy Joe: I'm finally here I'm finally gonna be a music st–
Pa: Billy Joe, izzat you?
Billy Joe: Pa Yer he– *a tractor hits Billy Joe, crushing every wrinkle in his pajamas and ultimately killing him.*
Bella: He's a liar He do too have blood *eats blood*
Pa: Noooo What about tendin to the cauliflower
written by:
Shondra Payne
Austin Hawkins
Dalton Rex
Samantha Jenkins
ACT ONE
One evening Ma, Pa, and Billy Bob Joe are sitting around the dinner table eating their meager supper of grits and craw fish...
Pa: Son, I been thinking–
Ma: Don't hurt yourself.
Pa: Hush woman I think I found the right man to take over the family business: Billy Bob Joe
Ma: But Pa, what about Billy Joe's problem ?
Pa: Yeah, I know he's a lil' bass akwards in the noodle, but...
Billy Bob Joe: I'm sitting right here
Pa: Good Billy Bob Joe, I want you to take over the family business
Billy Joe: But I don't wanna' I wanna' be a Nashville star
Pa: The probability of you succeeding to reap Nashville of all probable benefits is slim to none and the idea is preposterous. You ain't gon' do it
Billy Joe: But Pa Oprah said I could be a star
Pa: There that boy goes again with his crazy talkin' agin I'ma slap you upside the head with this here cauliflower
Billy Joe: But Pa The sky's the limit for a talented pair of pajamas like me
Ma: Billy Joe, have you been takin' them purple pills the doctor give you for that crazy talk that been goin up in yore head?
Billy Joe: Yes, Ma, but the voices give me such great ideas
Pa: If you keep thinkin yer a pair of pajamas, you'll never get anywhere in life.
Billy Joe: You don't get me, Pa All you care about is the cauliflower You don't care 'bout my feelins none *Billy Joe storms off to his room*
*Ma sneaks up to Billy Joe's room and quietly knocks on his door.*
Ma: Billy, it's your Ma, can I come in an talk to you?
Billy Joe: Go away Ma, my feelins be hurtin.
Ma: Billy Joe, I belives in you, son. I don't care what yer Pa be sayin; I do believes you can go places with that voice of yers. *Ma slips a $5 bill under the door.*
Billy Joe: *In the rush to get the money, he smacks his head off the door.* Gosh darn it, I done did hurt my elbow agin.
*Lights dim on stage.*
ACT TWO
Over night, Billy Joe jumps out of the window into a wheelbarrow of cheesy-cauliflower.
Billy Joe: Good thing Oprah told me to put this here. Don't know why she told me to put cheese on it...
*Scene fades and enter Pa the next morning.*
Pa: *knocks on Billy Joe's door.* Billy Joe, you best get up and tend the cauliflower *knocks again* Boy Get out of bed *Breaks door down* Boy I told you to get your lazy butt out of bed Now you done made me get violent *Sees Billy Joe is gone* Ma Dem Yankees is back 'n they done took Billy Joe
Ma: You idgit The Yankees ain't back, the boy run off to Nashville
Pa: Woman, did you know he was gone do this?
Ma: Yes I did because I believe in our boy. I believe he can be more than just a cauliflower farmer.
Pa: Grab your coat Ma, we're gonna go get him. The boy thinks he's a pair of dang burned pair of pajamas He ain't gone make it to Nashville
Meanwhile, Billy Joe is attempting to thumb a ride to Nashville. He's carrying a sign that says I won't kill you. He bumps into a fellow hitch-hiker: Bella Lugosi
Bella: You better watch yourself, boy I'm a vampire and I'll suck yer blood
Billy Joe: That's alright; I'm a pair of pajamas, so I don't got no blood.
Bella: *laughs* I like you, yer funny
Billy Joe: Would you care to partake as my companion on my journey to the wondrous metropolis of Nashville?
Bella: Sure, why not? I ain't got nothin better do do.
ACT THREE
As they begin their trek, Bella teaches Billy Joe to sing as a wondrous country star.
Billy Joe: Hey look Nashville is only ten miles away
Bella: Let's thumb a ride to get there quicker.
Billy Joe: Okay 8B
After three minutes of walking, a man with a Grizzly Adams beard pulls by in a red pick-up.
Grizzly: Where y'all headin'?
Billy Joe: We is headed to Nashville
Grizzly: Well what a coinkerdink I'm headed there mesself Hop on in the back, I promise I won't eat cha'...yet. *evil laugh*
FF to Grizzly dropping them off in front of the Oprey House in Nashville.
Grizzly: There ya go, chillins Just remember who helped ya get here afore ya gots famous
*They wave good-bye*
Bella: He smelt funny...
Billy Joe: I'm finally here I'm finally gonna be a music st–
Pa: Billy Joe, izzat you?
Billy Joe: Pa Yer he– *a tractor hits Billy Joe, crushing every wrinkle in his pajamas and ultimately killing him.*
Bella: He's a liar He do too have blood *eats blood*
Pa: Noooo What about tendin to the cauliflower
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