Last Login: 11/10/2009 3:32 pm
Registered: 03/23/2007
Gender: Female
Birthday: 06/27/1994
I guess i'm just not ment for these things and i can't take it much..... i don't know what i'll ever do with all this loss i keep feeling. I don't want this to play out like it did with you vince. I don't want you to pitty me anymore.... i want another but i don't want this anymore. this pitty is killing me inside. i don't think i'll ever be able to take so much pain the way i suffered with him. I loved him so much and i could rule the world with the faith i had in him til i lost it. I love you and i have this addiction i can't stop the habit and you'll hate me forever if i can't stop i don't know what i'll do if i can't let you go and do what you want to do. I know you've found someone so much better i'll get better i promise i'll drop this. I guess you've probably said everything about me that you could or you just forgot i don't know but it is killing me. but........ i can't say the others name....i can't speak of him cuz i don't know what to do. i don't think anyone will like me..... No one needs to know it's not that i am ashamed but i can't....it will be a long secret for alot but i will deal with it. this is one secret only he is allowed to tell.....i'm waiting but i can only see this being painful and full of jealousy. i will deal with what i must and i will bring the pain back and back until i'm use to it....i want this all to fade i want this to go back to where we were friends and then slowly gain my feelings so i know who i will love and who i will only befriend worthy to. i still think of the pain and the harm i've done to myself. i will keep the promise inside and do what i must to ajust. i know one day i'll lose myself in these promises if this keeps going and i will break one and lose who i've broken it to and hate myself and do the final step to end what i must. =( i am sorry that i have loved you and put you through the trouble of thinking of me. I want this to be fixed but i don't know how that'll happen. This secret will grow and i'll hope never to lose this amazing gift. if i do...... i dont' want them to know.....i don't want them to blame themselves for what will ever happen to me. it isn't there fault for everything i do cuz they didn't want me...I'm sorry.. but this is going on too long and harming me my capability to breathe and move lessins til i die..
...i have the greatest gaia family ever.... I know that i love them all and i hope they know that too! they are the best kind of people you could ever find.... they've seem to have my back and I'll always have theirs..... I'd like to say though that the greatest brother's i know i have so far are: chris8486, sarithorg, Wii king, red_phoenix666, King of Bijuu, Hell o child, aranzazug, Punisher56, Akai_Kurokaze, Santus, Rocker Josh, Kenshin125, and skullsruletheworld......... and my greatest sisters are: skyla55, LovelyNightmares224, blackdog_hatake, -_-FallenVangel-_-, arbados, Zebra28, im-so-sorry i-luv-u, Love_To_Kiss_123, and ScarletVmpire.......... LOVE >_< yesh this is who i am and who i will always be and i hope for more beloved friends to be up on my pro soon... I love you all! but not as much as i love him
Sorrowed Child
this journal is about a fallen Angel i always write about mythical creaters and humans it's neat. well in this one a Angel falls to heaven and he wants to help people ever one turns their back on him but he doesn't know why it could be any thing!
This is sexually delicious, Dangerously naughty, Devilishly crazy and all for the taking, hehe
My top avi wanted, this'll take a long time.....1,220,725 donate please? if you want.
You currently have zero playlists!
a life without the one you love is murder
screams of those who have suffered can only be heard by their own why can't anyone else around you see what is truly going on you know you don't have to say anything for someone to see what's happening to you inside they just need to look closer to see you and not the mask hiding all your pain and suffering so never show what you feel so that you may tell who is like you and who is just like everyone else in the world isn't that a shame to know your not worthy to someone who never felt what love is like you did? or is it just that you want them to understand how ppl like that feel every day just to push them aside when you have finished what you started even if it means losing them forever
the pain and suffering you bring to those who love you is only your own pleasre or the helping hand of that what is truly evil and you can't escape it because it haunts you and it wishes to kill you as it does others
smiles and laughter hide that of what your not showing all that sorround you no matter where you go yet there will always be at least one that can understand
as a nightmare creeps the dawning day it comes and goes but will never escape the path they choose to take why not run when you can play these are what is your fate
AND OF corse i can't be looking right at you people on your computer just so i could creep you out OH WELL XP i can still write these writings that may either be wacky or heart filling to you ^_^
cherish those you have now and those you will come to meet and love but never leave them behind for if you do you may never gain them back or be as close as you once were before
being alone for so long then finally finding someone you thought you could always have with you and finding out that your still alone never helps the pain wash away and the blood that spills while the other must watch only kills them more then you kill yourself it's such a pitful sham when you don't realolize the one who watches is killed faster but more painfully unlike you in which it's slow and almost painless. what a sad way to end most will laugh while i lie here waiting for death!
when i've left remember all the pain and what would i do if you did that one thing that hurts me so much. Think of how you made me smile with the laughter that i couldn't show before till you came along till you helped me see i actually was someone. i'm sorry that it hurt you i've always made that mistake when i shouldn't have. i see this time now and i'll always look back to all the times with all the hopes, dreams, sorrow, happiness, even the anger i felt when i couldn't be with you.
Your ROD is my GOD , and My HOLE is your GOAL!!
Welcome to my domain of darkness and coruptedness
FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food. REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Dang ... we messed up ... but that was fun!" FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry. REAl FRiENDS: cry with you FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAl FRiENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget its yours. FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you. REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you. FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door. REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!" FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile. REAl FRiENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRiENDS: will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you. REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the freak out FAKE FRiENDS: Would ignore this REAl FRiENDS: Will send this to all there real friends and hope to get it back!
i'm am filled with pain and sorrow but i manage to smile so that no one can see how it really affects me till i'm alone and the day i'm forgotten completly I WILL BE ERASED! that is my dream my love my pride that i have....and am sorry and that i regret everything even if i did once make you smile but it'll be nothing later.....
These vines....Just like chains...wraped around my body....and holding me from escaping this place...this place of what you see to be....Happiness......--but to me....Emptiness, Pain, and FEAR that has been seen for ever!!!!
You look at me and see who i show you i am....but when you turn away.....I suddenly change....Change into the freak that was always pushed aside and hurt...The freak that holds everything inside and crys without a sound that crys out to you but you can't hear it because it's too far away too far g-o-n-e....
Pain? heh You say it hurts you....You say it hurts my dear? Well then you'll never know how much pleasure it brings YOU when i'm around....heh heh heh....You feel pain and suffering because the tormented thoughts that you see...Thanks to ...heh...me of course.... I want you to hurt throughtout your body and BLEED it all away!!! heh (no...no this is not your friend.Just to let the other users know..ok THIS is her friend.... heh heh heh)
I am a child of darkness and a desendent of a demon... If you don't like it....then Ignore this exsistence
Take my hand, we run away together. Fall into my arms, i'll keep you safe as long as you trust me. Stay with me because i want you to be happy. Don't saden me with thoughts of self rejection, i love you and don't want you to be in pain. Tell me you love me and i say it back and i hope you know it's true. Make me a promise forever is forever and not just words you speak, cuz breaking a promise so deep will cut through to my heart and tear it apart. I love you, i just wish you could see it still. The day you think your alone please just look back i'll be standing there, waiting for you to die because if you go then so will i. I everything about you and i don't care who you are you've already broke into my heart and now you can't take it back just except it and please don't let go. I've missed you and always will i hope that when you go then you'll take me with you, i don't want you to be alone ever again i want you here with me cuz it feels like i have nothing without you when your not here. My love won't die for you, but i never said i wouldn't.
My most resent pic of me now. =3 just got it on August 13 of 2008
Dip me in chocolate roll me in doe and i'll be your porno >=) hehe
me, my eyes they don't show....they don't show because they show my pain they show my weakness.....and they reveal my tears the tears that i want none to see...not even the most beloved friends. I'd rather hide in a shell and only smile so they don't know my pain....my one true weakness........
in darkness we've met each other but you left me for something you thought was better now i sit here alone inside this place unable to escape the chains that you once let go but have now rebound me to this god forsaken place....
I met with you in a strange world i thought i'd never thought to see. or ever want to.... I stayed with you afraid to lose someone as special as you but you never believed or saw how much you ment to the world and how itd effect us if you disappeared....I'm sorry but it hurt to see you so i released you from your chains and left you hoping you that you may understand that it was for the best so that i would stop hurting you I love you.. but i am the light that you try so hard to hide froma and if you must hide then i will let you.
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Naw, i'm exactly the same.
I haven't been able to get on as much, too busy with life.
But I just started going on here again and thought I'd hit up some of my old buddies.(:
Hey,
I haven't talked to you in a LONG time.
But you should come join my friend Atremiss_WoW's and my RP Forum.
Blood in the Moonlight
Lol yea..I miss everyone..iv been trying to get lovely to call me but she never gets on. So like...washup?
o=
x3
-pinches- Meanie!
Eek! -pinches chuu-
o= -bites you neck-
=]
-huggles-