The word p***s is not that funny on its own.
It needs a little dirty-ness, something kinky, to go along with it.

Sorry, p***s, you're just not that funny.

Aww. I made it cry.

Look at my wishlist, donate to me.

I am not the Wisk King.

Just because I smell better than a jock, doesn't mean I can outrun one.

Using Pam for anything other than cooking is unacceptable.

Aliens don't care what I'm thinking, so I should take the foil cap off.

Things I am no longer allowed to do:

Telling a child that Jesus won't love him because he looks like Satan is not funny.

-- Not even a little bit.

Not everyone is attracted to me, so I should stop streaking.

-- Telling that same child the Santa killed himself because of the bad things happening in the world isn't funny either.

Who the hell does
that with their W's?

An exclamation mark?
No one's happy about
seeing all my crap.

My name is Sasabonsam.
Yeah, try pronouncing that.

Okay, stop it. You'll drive yourself to tears.