About

Hey, names Nightshade. I cant explain myself and i cant express myself fully unless i truly tell myself. Here, i hope i can...



The past few years have been difficult for me....the suckage of my life hit its climax about 6 months ago when my twin brother died, we may have looked different (ok thats an understatement) but when it happened i didnt know what to do. i was like i didnt know how to live because i didnt..life without him would b so different and i wish...i realy wish i still feel him here, but i dont. i know he has moved on now maby to the summerplace, maby to his new life, idk but i know that life will never be that same way that it was the first 14 years of my life. 3 months later my older sister and my younger sisters left me..not left, i c them but not still here. miss them and its hard sometimes to loose 3 major parts of my life. yesterday, i relized ill never c my moo again..her all timers are so bad that she dosnt think i am who i am. shes so confused and i no she'll never no me no matter how many times i go 2 c her...that part of my childhood is lost forever but in my memories and dreams. i want to remember her from b4 but this has progressed to a point were ill have to remember the bad..no matter how tramatizing it is for me. iv cryed my eyes and my heart an my soal out dry but im done crying and now im going to live happy. iv gained many new things in my life as well but these things cant replace my old life. i do love change..but not this time. more as these times. 5 months ago i became a witch...im still a recovering christian and my parents dont yet know of my new religous choices and nether dose my youngest sister or other ppl close to me. more percisly the only ppl who know are my sister who "left" and a good friend. I dont know how well the except it but i know they except me still so im satifyed with my choice in telling them. Altho bad things have happened and the past 6 months have been the hadest of my life, i happy. im hopeing it lasts but i know not of this....i no, too long. 11/12/09

Cheer me up....lol, ill tell u some of my favorite things:
Birthday:January 27(guenius;)....that and i shar a bithday with wolfgang amadaus motzart..cool huh? i plan on nameing my first born son after him)

Fav Band(s): Evanessence and Seether

Fav songs: Further away and everybodys fool by evanessence, fake it by seether, life is butifull by nikkie sixx, and fireflys by owl city(its adicting and it makes me fell like a kid, i love that inocent feeling so bad(:

Fav Colors: i love all colors (differnt for different reasons..dont worry, i wont list them:P)

Fav season: Fall..i dont love all times of year tho...

Fav holiday: Samian

Fav animals: White tiger and raven

Top 3 fav places iv been: 3my room with the music blairing so loud i cant even think excaping from the rest of the world, 2my property in colorado on wild horse masa platuea with the cold wind rushing over me and thro my hair, 1summer camping trips with tyler feeling the best i ever can and ever do my whole life

obsesions: music (almost all types, i just loose myself), photography(among other art but photography im better at:P), daydreaming about love, vampire acadamy(yes, the book), boys(there more fun to hang out with..and flirtings good to;), history channel, my violin, dancing...mostly outside, being barefooted(but i love shoes..its all very weird i no), nature, partying(i love partying...it looks bad but i loooove it), and puting things together.

Fav time period in america history: ...yeah i no but i love the roaring 20s...jazz music(fyi very fun to play and good 4 dancing too;) and i would sooooo ******** amazing 2 b a flapper, just kill me b4 the 1930s...great depression, ring a bell. r u history buff?

Twilight opinion: in the book i obsesed over edie and wanted 2 b bella, loved her. always prefured jaz tho:) now after new moon i hate bella for being a b***h to jacob and im a newly changed TEAM JACOB member!!!! he can cry on my shoulder, lol...and then some
..more to come.