About Lyn`Alexa

Well, My name is Lyn-Aleccia da milk von Frankenstein Tangerine miranda butterly dash 1xthreeminus2 Captain Terror Dinh. Nice to meet you, ;D
Country : Canada.

Gender : [ Female ]

Favorite Colors : Red, Lime green, Dark purple, and Black.

Zodiac Sign : Libra

Chinese Zodiac sign : Tigerr.

Status: Ohh, I love YOU. Im currently married to my dog.
[ Nu im not we divorced.]

Ohh,
And I'm a part of the PIE CREW. .. Its hardcore.. Very hard core.

FREEEEEEEEE PIEE FOR EVERY ONE ! [ Click here ]

If you actually did try to click it.. Your ah-maze-ing.

Im serious.. Go buy some pie for yourself.. Good work !


R A N D O M S . . . . . . D R E A M A V A T A R ' S . : D

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Total Value: 64,353 Gold
After Exclusions: 63,275 Gold
[Item Information]

Item List:
Venus Embrace Bikini
Elegant Emerald Lace Fan
Labu Necklace
Elegant Blue Ribbon
Zorro Mask
Buck Teeth
Ribbon Luv Sleeves
Gothic Veil
Green Stockings
Blue SKA shoes
!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i
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║╩╣║║║║║
╚═╩╩╩╩═╝

_♥_♥___♥_♥_ ρυт тнiՏ
♥___♥_♥___♥ нєαrт
_♥___♥___♥_ oη yoυr
__♥_____♥__ ραgє if
___♥___♥___ yoυ're finding love in
____♥_♥____ Տoмєoηє

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
“I am sick of people having a near death experiences and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

Girls: Comebacks for cheesy pickup lines!

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, you wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right! I want you… to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: Girl, you must be a theif because you just stole my heart!
Woman: Sory, you must have me mistaken for someone else; I only steal valuable things.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time” When someone walks in.
You Say Pink

I Say Black

You Say DemiLovato

I Say Paramore

You Say Jonas brothers

I Say Linkin park

You Say Pop

I Say Rock

You Say I'm Weird

I Say I love it.
Tell the truth and run.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

Ever had writers block when talking?

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Today I feel so sad, so alone,
all because nobody told me,
nobody would be home,
my pure shock was softened,
by the "I told you so" thoughts,
as I lay in my room,
in the house which I am alone in lots.
My nails are painted black,
the ends of my hair blackened too,
listening to my favourite bands,
and know in my heart,
this is what I want to do.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
10 Things you never, EVER do in the Cullen house:

Wear a cape, or worse, polyester

Threaten to destroy all the grizzly bears

Give Emmett steroids

Walk up to Carlisle and say, "I need to get high."

Support the Union

Bring a Magic 8 Ball

Paint " I PREFER BRUNETTES" on Rosalie's door

Give Jasper anti-depressants

Feed Emmett sugar and let him run wild.

Sing "I'm A Barbie Girl" reeeeaaaaally loud in your head and see what happens.

I was lying on my bed, looking at the stars and trying to figure out where my roof was.

No offence intended to blonds in the following. I just found these funny.

This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.

She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.

When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,
'Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?'

The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'

The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,

'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'

The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,
'If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!"

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.

The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
and the other one said, 'No they look like moose tracks.'

They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'

Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'

The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.

He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'

She asks, 'Oh, how come?'

He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why don't blondes like making Kool Aide from sachets?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the packet.

Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
They went to see 'Closed for Winter'.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
'Look! They spelled Macy's wrong.'

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. (Ha, my fav)

The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.

Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

Maximum Ride: Character - Fang: 98% Human, 2% Avian 100% HOT

Proud loser/bookworm/nerd. Yeah. Be jealous.

If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile.

If you screamed like a little kid when you found out a Maximum Ride movie
was coming out, copy this onto your profile.

Copy this into your profile if you LOVE Fang!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is so smexy he is on the verge of exploding from smexiness, copy and paste this in your profile.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in Technicolor

"Dance my little puppets, Dance!" - God

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!

If you dont like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.

Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.

If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

"I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"Cheese... milk's leap toward immortality."

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." -Oprah

"I believe 'die b***h' conveys my feelings properly"

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

"You say tomato...I say ******** you."

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" ~ Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous

"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous

I wasn't born yesterday, and neither were you. If you were congratulations on learning how to read at such a young age~ lemony snicket

Everything here is etible. Even I am edible, but that is cannibalism my children and frowned upon in most socioties~charlie and the chocolate factory

Funny quotes ...

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
--Michael L.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
--Wendell Johnson

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
--Weinberg

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I can resist anything but temptation.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Guys aren't worth your tears.

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goood

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

Music is my boyfriend.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

Happy Bunny sayings

1. does it hurt being so dumb?

2. nobody's perfect. I'm as close as it gets.

3. It's not your falt. I'm blaming you anyway.

4. you're dumb. I like that.

5. this has been fun but i have to barf now.

6. It's sad your own mom dresses you like that.

7. I have a dream. and in it something eats you.

8. Kids are the future. frightened? (mwahahahahah we will rule the world!)

9. I hear the other icky people calling you.

10. life. get one

11. It's not my fault you're icky.

12. me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

13. let's be friends. I'd like a dumb friend.

14. but I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice.

15. I'm happy don't wreck it by talking.

Church Joke.

One day Mrs.Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr.Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr.Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs.Jones.
"JesusJones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr.Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs.Jones.
"God!" Mr.Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs.Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your a**!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

Interesting and insane laws:

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)

It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)

It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.)

It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Hmm... that has potential. Oh, Natasha...)

It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.)

It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.)

It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of our stomachs when the building's on fire.)

It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...)

It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.)

It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.)

It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...)

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!)

The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this we should give a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.)

Girl come backs 2.

"How did you get to be so beautiful?"
"I must have been given your share."
"Your face must turn a few heads."
"Your face must turn a few stomachs."
"Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out."
"OK, get out."
"I think I could make you very happy."
"Why? Are you leaving?"
"What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"
"Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time."
"Want to see a movie?"
"I've already seen one."

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

T R U E S T O R Y .

I went walking at a strip mall.
I stopped by a little antique store with my friends.
[ When We were camping at a camp site we went here]
We were about to go in when i saw suicidal ducks. ..
I yelled" SUICIDAL DUCKSS ! "

As we saw a sign saying DUCK !
As I walked in, i bumped my head on the top of the door.

True story ... Happened on July 4. 09. Up there ^^

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's
only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra
penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

..............................................................................................................................................
Done.