http://cdn.myanimelist.net/images/characters/4/16843.jpg

Oh, bonjour mon amis~

Zeein' zat you're 'ear, I've already come to ze concluzion of two zings.
1) You know 'oo I am, an' wizh to 'ire me on for profezzional-grade work, Or
2) You 'aven't a bloody clue 'oo I am, an' are 'ere by accident.

If zat's ze caze, I zuggest you pull up a chair an' pop a squat. You're about to learn 'oo Captain Bernadotte is.

Born in raized in good ol' France (not tellin' you exactly where...creeper..), I grew up wiz my Papa until 'e was killed in ze line of work. Mon Mama left me an' my dad as a child, zo I don't bozer talkin' about 'er all zat much. Any'oo, as a teen, I lived wiz my Grandpa 'oo taught me about ze family buziness.

Heh, 'oo would'a zought? I cute little kid like moi would become a long-'aired, zmokin' gun-totin' babe magnet?
http://th05.deviantart.net/fs5/300W/i/2004/311/5/a/pasts_by_Pip_FanClub.jpg
.....
..Ok, maybe not zat lazt bit, but you get ze general idea..

Back to ze point.

http://maximumhellsing.com/pic/integra_hellsing_1.jpg
Apparently zome woman named Integra 'Ellzing came under attack by zome zombie-folk, an' me an' ze Geeze--
OH! I totally forgot to mention, I'm ze Captain of a mercenary group known as ze Wild Geeze. We've been all over ze world, an' 'ave managed to zurvive time an' eras as well. Every Bernadotte took charge of ze group, zen pazzed it down to zeir firzt born kid. Lucky me, I was a zingle child, wooooo~
-cough-
zombie-folk, Geeze.. right, zere we were. I was contacted by 'er, an' 'er organization called 'Ellzing. Zeein' as me an' my men were in need of a job.. I accepted. We arrived, I was told what needed to be expected of us. Zought it was a joke, a real good laugh...
http://maximumhellsing.com/pic/seras_victoria_1.jpg
SERAS... zat big-breazted 'eart-ztopper of a woman quickly..non...VERY quickly put me in my place. Damn near znapped my 'ead off wiz zat finger of 'ers.
Anyone azks...I let 'er win...

Flew to Rio De Janero, zat was fun. Zhot a couple people, ztole a 'eli, watched Mr. Alucard laugh 'is 'ead off as 'e bit zome wanker card-zhark 'oo burned to a crizp afterwards, zen got to go to MACDOOOOOOONALDS wiz Seras.
Bringin' it back, boz Seras an' Myzelf watched a priezt punch Alucard in ze face a couple times. Razer amuzin' really...

We flew back to London, attended a meetin' wiz ze enemy, a line-up of old people, ze Queen of England... an' zome fruity little catboy 'oo I zwear 'ad ze 'ots for ze fat nazi guy on ze zcreen 'e was carryin' wiz 'im. -shrug- I'm not worried zough, I didn't 'ave to talk to 'im.

Went 'ome to Integra's big ol' manzion, where me an' my men 'ad our azzes 'anded to us by a zep' full of nazi baddies an' a really butch vampire wiz a 'orrid zet of tattoos along 'er right arm an' face. A real b***h she was.. kinda zank 'er gigantic over compenzatin' zcythe zrough my back! I was 'avin' a bad night by zat point, zat made it ten times worze..
http://th07.deviantart.net/fs46/300W/i/2009/179/3/c/Pip_vs__Zorin_Colour_by_Pip_x_Seras.jpg
'Owever, I did manage to zteal a kizz from Seras, zat was a plus. Kinda died afterwards... Yeeeah... Told 'er to drink my blood, she did, zome'ow abzorbed my into 'er, we whooped Zorin's azz and grated 'er ugly ol' butch-face on ze wall like cheeze.

I'm ztill wonderin' 'ow we did it, but me an' Seras FLEW to London, ze city of deaz, to kick more azz. Zquared off againzt more nazi zoldiers, gave zem ze boot, zen got ourzelves caught up in a fight wiz a real monzter. A werewolf. Apparently Millennium's top zoldier. ********' 'ell, we 'ad one 'ell of a time againzt 'im. I made a proper apparence once more an' jabbed ze wolfman zrough ze 'eart wiz a zilver-filled tooz zat conveiniently floated up infront of our faces.
http://th05.deviantart.net/fs46/300W/i/2009/205/2/8/Captain___Experiment_by_Pip_x_Seras.jpg


A couple years pazzed, an' Seras found a way to make me my own body again. Felt great, wazn't reztricted to a zhoulder, was allowed to zmoke again.. y'know, ze good ztuff. Zomezing was mizzin' zough. Me an' Seras tried datin' for a while, but it didn't work. After what we'd been zrough, we were too much like brozer an' zizter.


'Owever, in Alucard's prolonged abzence, I got clozer to Integra on a perzon-to-perzon bazis, an' we 'ad a chemiztry zat worked. We ztarted datin', zeein' 'ow well we'd really do wiz one anozer... well, we did really well. Zo much, we made a "buziness trip" all ze way to my 'ome town (which, by ze way, I'm ztill not tellin' you) zo we could ... er.. do..zings.
</ / /x;;
http://th03.deviantart.net/fs49/300W/f/2009/221/3/9/Pip_x_Integra___Coloured_by_Pip_x_Seras.jpg


Turned out she got pregnant after zat. Couldn't be 'appier wiz myzelf, but alzo couldn't beat myzelf up enough for it. Integra 'Ellzing.. /pregnant/ by 'er employee? We kept it a zecret as long as we could, but monz pazzed, an' it was gettin' a little 'arder to do. Remenants of Millennium zurfaced once again, an' Izcariot decided to ruffle a few feazers.

Luckily for us zough.. I'm a friendly guy. I made friendly wiz two of zeir agents, Yumiko Takagi an' 'Einkel Wulf, which 'elped keep Maxwell off Integra's back. Good lot zem two are. Even if we've got eachozer in ztrangle 'olds until zomeone pazzes out...
http://th05.deviantart.net/fs44/300W/i/2009/125/f/3/Seras__Heinkel__Pip__Yumie_by_Pip_x_Seras.jpg

Any'oo, won't be too much longer until ze children-- yes, I zaid zat wiz a plural. We were lucky enough to zcore twin daughters from our little rendezvous back in France -- are born into zis world. Doin' all I can to get ready, an' zo far I'm as ready as one can be.

WOOO!!
I'm a Papa now!
July 29th, 2009, I finally got to 'old my little girls. It was a crazy eight monz at ze manzion, but finally, finally it 'appened. Intgera an' I got to welcome Alyssa an' Claire to our world.