So, you know how the Dinosaurs disappeared? The comet struck, kicking up a cloud of dust that blocked out fresh air and sunlight, the dinosaurs suffocated to death, any survivors died of disease or old age, the end. But what if that wasn’t it…?

I’m talking, my good friends, of a CONSPIRACY THEORY! Ah, now I have your attention. It wasn’t exactly a cover up, though. In the near future, a new branch of the government will be created to experiment with time. A secret branch. Not Like the branch that researches UFO’s somewhere in Mexico, except they’re researching something with WAAAY more kick than a UFO. So experimenting with time, as all you Harry Potter fans know, is a big no-no. In one huge ********, they managed to piss off the Supreme Comet… which decided to take a direct crash course into our BEAUTIFULLY POLLUTED PLANET.

This secret branch had to stop the Comet somehow! They didn’t want to be blamed for bringing about the end of the world as we know it! They created a machine to destroy the Comet and its evil tendencies… but the machine was too powerful, much too powerful, and it ended up ERASING THE TRAJECTORY OF EVERY COMET IN HISTORY!

o_o

And that’s when the Dinosaurs started popping up, laying waste to our civilization! Well, the leaf-eaters weren’t that bad, but with the meat-eaters, it was like Godzilla x 200. >_< Stupid government! They had to come clean and tell the world about their major screw up—guess who wasn’t too happy? So this branch of idiots spent a lousy thirty-three years on building a time vortex. Called in experts and whatnot. Problem is, the vortex was too small for any human to go through. *grins* And it’s a proven fact that cats have more ability to adapt than dogs do!

They created a super kitty named “Kitty” who could only be programmed into having one super power. O_o The power of the COMPELLING MEOW! Le gasp! They gave Kitty enough provisions to last several years and pushed her through the vortex with a single mission: to eliminate all Dinosaurs in a kickass way to redeem the branch of idiots.

…now, I don’t know how sending a cat to do the government’s dirty work could help redeem –anything...-

So Kitty planted her paws in front of the T-Rex and used her power of the COMPELLING MEOW to save the univer—I mean, the history of humankind! After that, all T-Rex’s could only meow instead of roar. Some of the Dinosaurs died from laughing too hard, some died from the shock of seeing the King “meowing,” others still from disease and old age. With its competition killed off and no large meals left (believe me when I say the King would never stoop to cannibalism), the T-Rex’s died of starvation.

Unfortunately, his last meal was Kitty, but she died a very heroic death indeed!

The government never redeemed itself. The public was too pissed off and paranoid to forgive them! All government buildings were overrun, and power was given to… the CATS! A gold statue was built in Kitty’s name, and cats were thereby worshipped by everyone in the world! A select group of humans actually became the slaves of cats, but the cats never mistreated them… unless the stupid humans just rubbed their fur the wrong way. *coughs* I became one of those slaves, so I would know. The majority of the human race kept to themselves, lived by their own set of rules and became better because of it…

Until the Comet made a comeback a few millenias later.

We blamed that on the government, too, although it had been out of the power for a long-a** time already.

<_<

>_>

Spread my theory around! And worship cats, for the love of Kitty, for Kitty will one day… save the world!

Being Gay Is Wrong

1.) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2.) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3.) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4.) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5.) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6.) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7.) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9.) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10.) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

PLEASE READ! [Note: I got this from kirikou_yuki at LiveJournal.com. Therefore, it is not of my own creation, sadly. Just passing it along!]

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bare.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.
If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS. Try to find a stereotype that fits you!

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a b***h.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big d**k.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be ******** them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY, TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED, so I must be ******** up.
I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON, so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil.
I love SHOPPING, so I must be rich.
I'm an OG, so I must be Mexican.

“Some people like happy endings, some are realistic.”

"The mind can calculate, but the spirit yearns, and the heart knows what the heart knows."

"Lynn, Lynn city of sin, if you go to heaven they won't let you in."

"Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer, all too soon they bleed into a wash just like the watery ink on paper."

"I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead."

"I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!"

"I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet."

"Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker."

"There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it."

"EdxEnvy... sinfully obvious."

"Evil, was never so cute and fuzzy."

"You did WHAT with my midol!"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who would be pissed if she heard me say that."


"I can't sleep, clowns will eat me."

"I see stupid people, there's so many."

"I see you're playing stupid again, looks like you're winning."

"Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is free."

"The cheese fell off your cracker a long time ago, didn't it?"

"What do you mean you think he's pregnant?"

"I'm not reading porn!"

"I'm not reading lesbian porn!"

"Huh? You say something? Sorry I was too busy not giving a damn."

"I gotta pee, but I don't want to move."

"I swear to drunk I’m not God."

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"No I’m not a red-haired Bakura."

"We put the "fun" in dysfunctional.”

"Dress in drag and do the Hula."

"S N O W, Gods way of telling you to get off the couch and do some damned work, you fat b*****d."

"How are you? I'm:
Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

"Note: Get more hair gel."

"Just say no to cannibalism. Friends don't let friends eat friends."

"If you like me in uniform, you'll like me out of it."

"I have a history of taking off my shirt."

"I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is."

"I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is."

"You can't make someone love you; all you can do is stalk them 'till they're afraid and give in."

"Why does a rose represent love, if a rose always dies?"

"Oops. Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? Get over it."

"So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. "

"There is no vaccine against stupidity."

"Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.”

"Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent."

"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive."

"I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? "

"Glad to know I made you un-normal."

"I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one!"

"How far can you open your mind before your brain falls out?"

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going; this is also sometimes known as a tactical retreat!"

"We are not retreating; we are simply advancing in the other direction!"

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger; comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow is not looking good either!"

"There’s a light at the end of every tunnel. Let’s hope it’s not a train."

"Insanity isn’t a disease or a problem. It’s a life choice, and one I’m proud of making."

"You know what the hardest part of using a screwdriver to take apart a computer with a friend is? Refraining from screw comments."

"Romantic moments are boring. It’s much more entertaining to run in circles, when hyper.”

"Illiterate? Write for help."

"Heart attacks, God's revenge for eating his animal friends."

"If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen."

"You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up!"

"All stressed out and no one to choke."

"I have PMS and a handgun, any questions?"

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it's rusty and illegal in 47 states."

"There is nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends how good you are at it."

"Playing with boys' minds is my anti-drug."

"I'm candy-coated cyanides. Eat me."

"Not even the mentally ill would wish to stalk me."

"Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit."

"Sorry, I forgot to take my happy pills."

"I'm not crazy; my reality is just different from yours."

"The voices may not be real, but they have pretty good ideas."

"You may not like me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

"Assume makes an a** out of you and me."

"Misery loves me."

"There is no darkness. There are only those places that the light has not yet reached."

"Don't talk, it makes you sound stupid."

"Do you think he knows it's a circle?"

Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Fool me three times...
Well let’s just say there won’t be a fourth time.

"My anger management class PISSES ME OFF!"

"Death is Life's way of telling you you’re fired."

"I hear voices and they don't like you."

"This is Bob, Bob likes you, Bob likes sharp things, and I suggest you run."

"If you have nothing nice to say, at least be sarcastic."

"Is that all you have to say, it is your last words ya know."

"Let's talk about demonic birds and bees."

"So this is the entrance to hell? It's drier then I expected."

"Tell me how does it feel to be in a constant haze of stupidity?"

"I will give you guys a ten second head start before I personally mutilate you."

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."

"When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad I’m better.“

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.

"Expecting the world to treat you well because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you're a vegetarian."

"I have been described as a lighthouse in the middle of a bog; brilliant but useless."

"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them how to walk and talk, and the next twelve years to sit down and shut up."

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, but dead."

"If we can say, 'I loved, and I received a lot of love,' then great. That's enough."

"Don't make plans, make options."


"Everybody always asks if we're happy. Give me a break. We're married two years. In Hollywood years, that's forever."

"When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed."

"It's impossible to satisfy everyone, and I suggest we all stop trying."

"Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?"

"See with your soul, not just your eyes, for the eyes only sees what the heart believes."

"I've already matched all of the stars in the sky with the reasons why I love you. I was doing a great job until I ran out of stars."

"You are either incredibly smart... or incredibly stupid."

"As long as it's fun, no one really cares what happens."

"If all my dreams came true... what's the point of dreaming?"

"Expect the unexpected."

"When someone dies, you celebrate his life, not mourn his death.”

"Smile... it confuses people"

"You laugh because I'm crazy. I laugh because you're stupid."

"I used to have superpowers, but my therapists took them away."

"Which one of my enemies told you I was paranoid!"

"I don't get how some of the world's most brilliant scientists and philosophers just can't understand how the word 'miracle' goes."

"Insanity: A perfect rational adjustment to an insane world"

"Get them before they get you."

"In the military, you're not ill unless you're dead and even then you're just an inconvenience."

'Simon says... it's time to die.'

"Sometimes being content and being happy are two different things."

"That first night we met, I thought that even being killed by you would be a pleasure..."

"I never knew how fun it was to be assassinated until someone I liked tried to do it to me-"

“The uses of the tongue, lesson one: It’s not wise to use the whole of it, otherwise it would be much like a dog. It is better to use the tip and tease-the-skin-with-utmost-precision. Use of the tongue, lesson two: As you capture one’s neck in a kiss, start from under their jaw and slowly make your way down, sliding the tip of your tongue down the skin between your lips without breaking contact. Lesson three: Give the skin slight sucks as your run your tongue against it. Lesson four: Repeat everything from lessons one to three.”

"A good friend would help you move. A great friend would help you move a body."

"You know the drill. Get in your seats, ladies and gentlemen. Keep your arms and legs in at all times... and don't puke, 'cause I'm not cleaning that s**t up."

'Sam, I can tell, is at the point where you’re drunk but you’re not. Confused? Let me clarify: In this state, you can stand up without falling over or swaying in place, talk without slurring your words and act completely sober. How do you know the difference? Because no matter how sober you try to act, the most ignorant bullshit will come out of your mouth.'

"Oh, the fork is on the other plate now!"

"Squabbles are for grownups who are too jaded by reality to understand the true meaning of life."

"He who is overlooked meets no resistance."

"Tigers and lions are kind of similar... um... aren't they?" "Well, they both belong to the feline species, but all species are descended from the single-celled organism that existed before it evolved into species like Panthera Tigris, Panthera Leo, Homo Sapiens Sapiens, snakes, and even Raphanus Sativa."

"Snape taking points off Slytherin would be like Voldemort becoming a nun. Sort of. On a lesser scale."

"People appreciate it when you don’t run them over."

"They just teach it to you so that you become bored and lower your defenses. Then they implant subliminal messages in your brain and make you their mindless servants. Then they use you to take over the world, and you can‘t do anything about it cause your minds too stupified by this junk they call 'math.'"

“Today is now officially [insert corny title].”
“Does it really need a title?”
“Of course it needs a title! What wrong with you?”

“If you don’t shut up, I will rip your tongue out and staple it to the wall!”

"Fear my mochi poopoo hat!"

“I can read you like the captions on the bottom of a big screen TV.”

“Can you feel my joy?” “You radiate it. Spare me and shine your rays elsewhere.”

“I hate to do this, but it isn’t very warm here and I’m not very clothed. I need to get dressed.”

“You’re kidding me right? He does everything but jump your bones. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.” “He’s just friendly-” “Dear god. The poor boy probably thinks you don’t like him. He flirts with you and ONLY you, and you say it’s because he’s just friendly. You’d better be glad we’re almost at the park, or I’d kill you and find a dumpster to put the body in.”

'[later] He placed his hand on my waist and tugged me closer, dropping a quick peck on my cheek before sliding his hand away. She mouthed 'Noticing now?', motioning between Javier and herself, 'I didn’t get s**t.'

“Food is good. Especially when it’s bought with other people’s money.”

'Sadly, his smirk made me want to go over and wipe it off his face. With my lips. I sure as hell stayed put.'

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

"MITTENS!"

Champagne for your real friends and real pain for your sham friends.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

"Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."

If you cry, I cry.
If you laugh, I laugh.
If you fall out a window, I laugh even harder!

"Gravity sucks."

“Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.” –- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Change one thing. Change everything.” -- The Butterfly Effect

“If life punches you, punch it back. If it kicks you, kick it back. If it throws you headfirst into some thorns - that's life.” -- Daisuke Niwa (DNAngel)

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.”

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.” -- Vernon Sanders Law

"If you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing."

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." -- Elbert Hubbard

“Just remember, the most unattainable prizes are the ones we should strive for.”

'Is it healthy to listen to voices in your head that aren’t real?'
Probably not.

“Human only proposes. Heaven doesn’t dispose it; they laughed at it.”

"I hate life, that's why I killed mine years ago."

"The high cost of living is death."

"Woman runs into a party, dress nicely: "Sorry, I'm late. I had to kill my husband and his whore, and then I had to bury them in the neighbor's backyard while they were away on vacation. I also had to change because of the blood stain, clean up the evidence and blow up my house for cleansing of sins, so...what were you guys doing?"

Man: I just found out my weakness: water.
Man 2: So that's the reason why you haven't bathed for 32 years!

"Insult me and feel my brother's wrath."

"Love hurts. So does a knife to the chest."

"What would you rather feel? The pain of your spouse's betrayal or the knife that's being plunging into you?"

"I lusted after a boy. He lusted after me. We both died of AID's. The end."

"I have a love for you, but the distance of the Atlantic Ocean is killing it."

"Can you still love me after you've known the fact that I want everyone to die with me after I die because I don't want to be alone?"

"The rain is falling on me. Here you shall be. Beside me, while I get struck by lightening."

"Kill me before I admit you're beautiful. Kill me before I love you. Kill me before I kiss you. Kill me before I make you mine."

Woman: I swore to never lie.
Man: You said you didn't love me.
Woman: I know...I lied.

"To reach my heart, first give me yours."

"I need to see you to love you, but even then I might still hate you."

"I am legally evil."

"Sue me and I'll give you something to sue."

Therapist: You're in denial.
Patient: I am not in denial!
Therapist: See!
Patient: If a therapist is telling a non-denial patient that she's in denial, making her believe she's in denial, making the therapist stay in denial, making them both stay in denial, isn't that denial?

"I hate life... that's why I ran in front of a truck, but they saved me and now I'm a vegetable. Now, I don't know that I hate life, but somewhere in those damaged tissues of brain, I know I hate life.

"Have the penguins stolen your sanity yet? I willingly gave up mine..."

"********... Hello!"

"I'm bored..."

"Queen me..." "What?" "Well, it's not like I had a sex change or anything. God!"

"HECK YES---, TEXAS."

"Holy f-ing Budah!"

"...still thinking... still thinking... I GOT IT!"

"Life is a peach."

"Crossdress to impress!"

"I was born a b***h. What's your excuse?"

"I used to be schizophranic, but we're ok now."

"When life gives you lemons, give life an orange. When life gives you back the orange, give life a banana. When life gives you back the banana, give life some meatloaf. Then they don't know WHAT to do!"

"And after the weather, we'll find out how Superman got pregnant."

"Happy Bathing."

"I feel like me heart is... Oh, What do they call it? It's where the heart cracks in two and falls apart..." "Heartbreak?" "Yeah! That's it! I feel like my heart is breaking!" "You sound so happy..."

"A feral boy, a lazy jounin, a dark and brooding boy and me- the only sane one in the house."

"SOMEBODY START A WAR!"

"I like to collect my grandmother's toe nails every night at 11:00."

"Go fish."

"See the happy moron- he doesn't give a damn. I wish I were a moron- by God! Perhaps I am!"

"Rule #1: I'm always right. Rule #2: When in doubt, refer to Rule #1."

"Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you WILL make."

"There are people I'd take a bullet for and people I'd like to put a bullet in."

"Gun to brain, go squishy."

"I consider myself influential, as opposed to manipulative."

"Happy Birthday. Now open the present I got for you so we can all get on with our damned lives."

"There are two words I hate: Don't and Stop. Unless, of course, you are using the two words together."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"I've never made a mistake in my life; at least never one that I couldn't explain afterwards."

"Hello, passengers. We will be experiencing some slight turbulance for a few minutes, and shortly there-after, we're gonna explode."

"Do you want to be Captain?" "Yes!" "...Well... Y-you can't..."

"This is gonna be 'interesting!'" "Define 'interesting!'" "'Ahh! God! Help us! We're gonna die!'" "Alright then."

"Don't make me repeat myself: Push the button."
Everyone is praying for peace and serenity... "Oh, Buddah, please let Santa Clause get me a pony for Christmas..."

"Do you know what your sin is?" "Hell, can't really say which. I'm a fan of all seven."

"That's lovely. Now hand over the crack, and eat your food. The police will be here soon."

"You've really got problems if the father of your children realizes you're pregnant before you do."

"Aww... group HUG! While skinny dipping!"

"I'm smexy."

"Now, why do I like him? I think the answer to that is very simple. A: He's very atractive, B: I think his stupidity makes him adorable, and C: ... I'm seventeen. I think that about sums it up."

"Have you ever heard of 409? It works better than Windex. It cleans up the 'messes' that Windex can't cover."

"These people have about as much thinking process as a mule trying to hump a door knob."

"Please, please, PLEASE tell me that Cloud does indeed join SOILDER and ends up becoming Hojo's experimental obsession just as much as Seph, and that Hojo figures out that Mako has an added affect to pleasure and has Seph and Cloud do unspeakable things right in front of him!"

"You idiot. You burnt the toast!" "I only just put it in the toaster like you told me too!" "Yeah for TEN MINUTES!" "All I did was put it in! How'd I manage that?" "You'd manage to give someone AIDS by poking them with a stick."

"We do not molest our fellow students in the hallways!" "So the classroom is alright, then?" "Just...go to class and take a seat."

"Well, I'll have to say that that was the oddest dream I've ever had... okay, not as odd as the time I dreamt that I was king of Candy Land, but close enough."

"Handcuffs. Police aren't the only ones who use them."

"Got milk, need pie."

"You're just jealous because I'm not as funny as you are!"

"To get a button put in, it's going to cost... $697." "WHAT!? Why can't we just go and buy a small thing of buttons, and sew it on ourselves?" "... The button on the stove."

"Did you know that the inside of a fish is very yellow and makes people throw up?"

"You can't fire me! I'm a volunteer!"

"To make a blind decision is to stab yourself in the leg to remedy a headache, it may cure the headache but now you have a hole in your leg."

"There are no weak soldiers under a good commander."

"If you go after two hares you will catch neither."

'He'd long since learned that adults liked to see things their own way, and that there was little stopping them once they had a view on something.'

"Hell hath no fury like an uke scorned."

"Aren't you girls ashamed of yourselves?! Spouting words like 'gonads'! Lately, students have lost track entirely of good sense, talking about 'gonads'! Now, if you insist on having such filthy mouths, at least have the decency to be grammatically correct about it; if you must use the word, use 'testicles'!"

---

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and the purpose of your visit," the cheery witch's voice announced to the six wizards tightly packed into the red telephone box.

"Death Eaters," Lucius said with a hint of amusement. "We're here to kill you." Dolohov had the audacity to smack him on the arm. The amusement in his voice vanished with a shocked exclamation of, "Ow! What was that for, you idiot?"

"They're never gonna let us in now!" the man replied as if it were obvious.

"O' ye of little faith," Lucius smirked at him. "I think I know the Ministry a bit better than you."

Sure enough, to the surprise of everyone except Lucius, the voice thanked them, wished them a good day and a silver badge dropped down. Dolohov picked it up in wonder and read it aloud. "Death Eaters. Here to kill you." He blinked at Lucius from behind his mask. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."

------

Outside, twelve other black cloaked individuals waited their turn. As the other six started the decent into the Ministry, one turned to another.

"Hey, Rody," he asked his brother with a grin. "How many Death Eaters can you fit into a phone box?"

---

"Torture? I prefer the term, 'forceful questioning.'"

'As soon as they were formally dismissed, Brie had collected his things and was waiting for his two – companions? minions? certainly not friends – by the door. Minions, Brie decided. You can never have too many minions.'

"Assume that your opponent is meaner, smarter, stronger, and faster than you. Never underestimate who you're fighting against in any circumstance whatsoever."

"There are a lot of naive idiots in this world who really haven't seen the ugliness of life nor perceived the darkness of human motivations, both their own and others.'"

“You are a blithering idiot if you rely on luck when you could bribe, maim, kill, and otherwise politely convince people to see things your way.”

"There's no pretending with men. They tell it like it is and don't blow up at you for something you did months before."

"I think the principle behind it is that it tastes so disgusting that you forget about the headache."

"Honestly, gay or straight, men are totally clueless.”

“Insanity is best presented as a façade.”

'Those who are willing to sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither freedom nor security.'

“You know, that’s the problem with the English language. It’s easy to lie. We get into a habit of asking questions we don’t really care about with answers we don’t really want to know.”

'In the beginning the universe was created. This, however, has made a lot of people angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move.'

“Fine art is the beauty of that single, fleeting moment of explosion, yeah!” [Deidara -- Naruto]

'Dreams only whispered of happiness, hell licked at his heels.'

"I've got no need for racism. It does nothing for society but start wars."

"Kekki no yuu o imashimuru koto." -- "Avoid violent behaviour."

"Anonymous, anonymous is my name.
Anonymous, anonymous I shall remain, until there is
No one else to blame."

"If life ******** you it means you’re still alive."

“Option A, shut up. Option B, I light you on fire.”

'Sometimes "The Majority" only means all of the fools are on the same side.'

'As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (for I am the baddest mother ******** in the valley).'

'May God have mercy on my enemies, because I sure as hell won't.'

'Forgive your enemies after they are slain.'

'You tell me that I sin, you say I'm bound for hell; so once your judgement condemns you, I SHALL SEE YOU THERE.'

"God did not create men and women equal... don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve."

"It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?"

Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Always remember you're unique... just like everyone else.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army: Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I looked stressed!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

Bob says: "The sun isn't yellow… it's chicken."

'If you’re asking me to explain the way a madman’s mind works, then you’re… actually, asking the right man, now that I think about it.'

Cannon!Voldie can be annoyed quite well by cuddling him randomly. I’d like to cuddle him randomly. It would be fun.

When in doubt argue with yourself until the decision is made for you.

They say knowledge is power. Well, it's true. You can't drive a nail if you don't know how to hold a hammer. Also, you can't be a wooden plank if you don't know how to lay very stiff. It just doesn't work.

"The walls have ears. There are a lot of walls."

“You’re going to have to find a new way to surprise me.” “If you take that attitude, then things that would be considered normal will take you by surprise every time.”

"To life, liberty and the pursuit of youthfulness!!!"

Strength is not determined by how hard you can hit someone, but how many times you can get up after being hit.

“Come on! Everyone knows homosexuals are God's way of controlling the population!”

“No offense, but I bet I could write a book on things you don't know about me.”

“So, here's how this is going to work, you leave me the hell alone and I'll let you keep all your teeth.”

It’s better to have a few real friends then a million fake ones.

'They are quietly but certainly becoming as neccesary to each other as air, and a hundred times more precious.'

“Sacrifices always have to be made when momentous changes occur in history.”

"Handsome means that something or someone is aesthetically pleasing due to proportions or symmetry and elegance. To be beautiful means to excite sensuous and aesthetic pleasure. Beauty applies to whatever excites the keenest of pleasures to the senses and stirs emotion through them as well."

“Oh, I’ll give you a break! I’ll break your legs, then your arms, your ribs and I’ll finish off with your neck!”

---

“Remember the Alamo!”
“The Alamo lost, moron,”
“Watergate, then!”
“They found that out; Nixon resigned,”
“The Edo Period?”
“Overthrown by the Meiji government,”
“Napoleon Bonaparte?”
“Banished to exile.”
“Damn. Muggles suck.”

---

“How many times will the wind blow before one can gain the trust of another? Do you know the answer? It varies, the wind will never stop blowing. One person might never trust another. Trust is earned and built up, if the person has trouble trusting others, then they have a good reason.”

'When he said jump, he wanted his men in the air before asking how high. It was the nature of command.'

Success is a measure of determination, after all.

No point in embarrassing someone if you don’t have a public to laugh at the victim and spread the embarrassing story.

Ah… math class! The joys of numbers! The beauty of geometry! The finesse of trigonometry! Gag me now!

---

“What the ******** are you laughing about?”
“Your face.”
“******** you!”
“With that tiny d**k of yours? Pffft! Even your girlfriend has a bigger d**k and she’s a girl!”

---

“If I wanted you to know what I said, I would’ve said it in English.”

“Shut up before I’m forced to kick you somewhere where it's not going to feel too tingly.”

---

“She’s a conceited, know-it-all, ******** b***h, who I wouldn’t mind shoving off a bridge.”
“There are no bridges high enough around here.”
“Fine, then I’ll run her over with my grandmother’s scooter.”

---

Variety is the spice of life.

“We’re going to the early showing, beat the crowds. I hate watching a movie while these losers sit up front and gossip.”

“You’re insane. You’ve finally gone off the deep end.”

“Kindly refrain from calling me that ever again or I will rip out your intestines and tie them in a noose around your neck before hanging you from the ceiling of a dark and dreary cave, while you drip kerosene… that I will light on fire personally.”

'This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard.' -- Neil Gaiman

It's the details that made a cover truly successful.

Was that… a compliment followed by… an accidentally insulting compliment?

“Ya know, while this is a very compromising situation, I prefer to be on top.”

Sometimes the dead should just stay dead.

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."

“You have three seconds to invite yourself in before I shut the gate in your face.”

“Love thyself above all because everything in this world is founded on self-interest.”

"Writing is like sex. You can't expect people to like it if you apologize."

'I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.' -- Douglas Adams

“Fighting fire with fire only causes that fire to grow; fighting darkness with darkness only signalizes a pointless end; fighting death with death will cause the end of the world."

“Living is an adventure, limited at that. You never know which road will take you where, or if you’ll ever be where you’re supposed to be."

"We all are blind fools when it comes to those we care about. The only thing we can ever do is correct our mistakes as quickly and efficiently as possible."

"By all means, be rude! I'm rude, so it's a language I can understand perfectly."

When life gives you cardboard boxes, cut them.

"I'm not anorexic! I'm bolemic!"

"There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt."

They called me down from heaven, to watch me burn in hell.

'If you just sit there and stare, you will lost your manhood.'

'Penguins fly when no one's looking. Either that or they use jetpacks.'

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"You know, when you lie, it is like a circle."

"Grand theft gummi bears!"

"I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls. They will all taste oblivion... which tastes just like red bull. Which is disgusting. All will perish!" [RvB]

"DEATH BY BLIMP!"

Bisexuality is NOT a crime. Killing a bisexual IS. Learn the difference.

I'll stop being bi in front of your face when you stop being straight in front on mine.

God made every queer, hetero, bisexual, and transexual in his image. So shut the ******** up.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

I'm here, I'm queer, b***h. Get over it.

Why would God send all gays to hell? That'd just make hell FABULOUS!!

Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"Grand theft gummi bears!"

"DEATH BY BLIMP!"

"I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls. They will all taste oblivion... which tastes just like red bull. Which is disgusting. All will perish!" [RvB]

"When a man bleeds freely for the sake of other people... it's only proper to pretend that you never saw it."

"Evil only makes good seem better. Evil is not a choice, it is a path people are destined to take. When you are unhappy with the path you follow, you tend to take the other."

"One of these days you’ll listen to the genius that is moi and tell that b*****d to pull the 2x4 out of his a**."

“Yes! I’m sure a b*****d snake is going to be a lot more fun to work with than a bunch of stupid idiots with sticks so far up their asses it’s coming out of their mouths!”

"If only he had an evil older brother somewhere!"

"Shut up and look homeless; this way we can get food for free!"

"If I am the type to let my feelings overshadow my work, then you'd be dead."

"It's not freaky; it's French. It's the language of romance, sensuality, lust, power, drama, tragedies and fate. I love French! Especially the French people! They're… crunchy from the edges, but filled with sour cream inside. And taste good when dipped in sauce!"

"There's a door."
"Where does it go?"
"It stays where it is, I think."

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." ~Oscar Wilde

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. ~Einstein

The world doesn't stop being funny when people die, nor does it cease being serious when people laugh.

How to Fly: throw yourself at the ground and miss. (Douglas Adams)

Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

"How do you prove that you exist? Douse yourself with gasoline, light a match, and if you die a horrible, painful death, then you know you exist."

People who dislike cats must have been mice in a previous life.

"Winners never talk about glorious victories. That's because they're the ones who see what the battlefield looks like afterwards. It's only the losers who have glorious victories." - Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face... when you push them down a flight of stairs.

"There will be two dates on your tomb stone, and all your friends will read them, but all thats gonna matter is that little dash between them."

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls... it tolls for thee!

"Here's to you and here's to me
I pray that friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
The heck with you and here's to me!" - Irish Toast

Some days life just isn’t worth the trouble to chew through the leather straps on the straightjacket.

All I want is your soul. It's not like you're using it at the moment!

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

"The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive." ~John Sladek

"The spine he is sporting now is nothing more than the stick up his a**."

Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics.

‘Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.’

"I'm seven hundred and twenty three years old this Midwinter, not senile!"

"Just because a situation doesn't look threatening doesn't mean that it can't be. The most innocent of situations can quickly deteriorate. People, as a rule, are unpredictable, so learn to expect the unexpected."

“It isn’t only ‘bad people’ who are hateful and malicious. Lots of ‘good people’ are probably capable of being just as malicious and hateful on occasion if they were pushed to it. I mean, malice, hate, contempt – they’re all natural human emotions and responses. Evil is necessary. It’s just the absence of good. We can’t have one without the other, and we can’t really appreciate which one we’d prefer until we’ve seen both. And, sometimes, good people have to do bad things.”

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery… or is it murdering someone… and wearing their face as a mask?”

“I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.”

"Nonsense, it is never too early, or too late, for that matter, for some cake. Especially if it is chocolate filled raspberry cake!"

There is a fine line between insanity and genius, I have erased that line. — Oscar Levant

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Better to drown in the sea of misery than to strangle two unknowns with fire.

26 Things To Do In An Elevator

1.) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5.) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9.) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10.) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11.) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.

12.) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

15.) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.

18.) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26.) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space.

---

'The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.'

'The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.'

'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile.'

'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

“I can carry out several threads of thought simultaneously, and the sugar increases my brain’s work capacity by sixty-eight percent.”

"Sometimes I’m just too god damned nice. Or great. Or godly. Whichever."

“I am calm. I’m the picture of calm. My name is in the ******** dictionary next to calm.”

"If you do ANYTHING like that again, I will hunt you down like a rabid wolf and eat your soul."

Better to drown in the sea of misery than to strangle two unknowns with fire.

"If you do anything to hurt him, I’ll personally slit your throat, painfully castrate you, and glue your testicles to your forehead."

“Why are you such a freak?” “You mean why am I an insomniac? Well, I figure it was the universe’s way of giving me extra time to demonstrate my genius.”

"...I only want you to be happy. If you are happy, then I am happy. If you are safe and I can protect you, then my life is worth living. That is all."

"The dust of white bones mixes with red wine and shines like blood. Drink up the offering cup. You're a seraph of death leading everyone toward sweet lunacy... a beautiful poison."

"You mess with the best, you go down with the rest."

"You are normal. What is normal? The definition changes day-by-day, minute-by-minute, never staying the same. To me, you are normal. Never forget that."

"Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light — you'll go broke." — Chuck Jones

"If a fly were to betray what he was made for, then the fish would starve and rebel. If the fish rebelled, then the otter would as well; and with no food, the mountain lion would follow the otter, and with no rival then the bear would rebel. After the bear would be the two-legged hunter whose family would starve and die, and all because a tiny fly refused to do what he was meant to do."

"I can't promise you the stars and moon in the sky, and I'm sorry that... your hands may still get cold in the water. But I'll work hard at it. When I can't take it anymore, just by my loving you alone, I'll work even harder. Will you accept this?" [From a good Korean drama I can’t remember the name of- xD]

"You know, it's an easy thing to say I love you to people that matter. You never know when you might lose them... or when they might lose you."

“You’re beautiful, you know.” “You keep saying that.” “If only because I keep meaning it. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it, so get used to it.”

“Eh? There’s a first.” “A first? What, no one’s ever told you you’re drop-dead gorgeous before?” “Ah, no.” “Idiots.”

"The only difference between a diamond and a lump of coal is that the diamond had a little more pressure put on it."

"I want you to see yourself reflected in my eyes... you already consume my thoughts, why not blind me while you're at it?" [Copyrighted! xD]

Bones break, organs burst, skin tears, s**t happens.

"Miss Lang, I have a handgun pointed at your head. If you don't get the ******** off my lawn, I'm gonna use it. - If we had call waiting, it would be a different story." [Movie: Nobel Son]

"It isn't evil to eat the dead: it's recycling. True evil is to eat a man alive."

“Love. Hurts like a b***h, but it’s as pretty as a rose. Little ********, that love.”

----------

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved onto rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this into your profile.

If you have a really great friend you've met over the internet and think that the paranoid people who say you shouldn't talk to people over the internet should go shove their megaphones somewhere unpleasant, copy this into your profile.

If you support homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you forget your phone number when some one asks for it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever told a person your name and you never got theirs, copy this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as weird as you), copy this into your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! If you are really random, copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some tall, metal pole that is blatently obvious copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool, copy this into your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you approve of gay marriages put this on your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you laugh secretly at some people or keep on comparing them with characters in a fiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile.

If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile.

If your brother/sister laughs at you when you can't beat a boss in a game, copy and paste this to your profile.

If YOU get a kick out of explosions (note: fireworks count as explosions), copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think your family is ******** awesome, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

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C('')('')

This is bunny, he wants to take over the world, BUT HE NEEDS YOUR HELP. He started off at DeviantART and came here from Killer Movies. He has made it to many other sites, NOW he's here. All Bunny asks of you is that you copy and paste him into you Profile and help him get everywhere. BUNNY IS COUNTING ON YOU. Don't let him down.

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