Wut iz a 2Sak?

My name is Matt, I'm 19, and I'm from Yakima though I'm currently stationed at JobCorps in Moses Lake. I like books, music, movies (anything sci-fi, fantasy or action-packed), and anything thats a little bit odd or out there (spacetime anomalies, aliens, paranormal, etc). I also like taking long walks (on the beach or not is irrelevant, though it would be nice) and working on a story I'm writing called Balance Point. I hope to get into computer programming and be a work at home programmer for Microsoft or Sun Systems. All I want out of life is to do what I have an interest in and be with my love <3 (though I'm not quite sure who that is yet so I'll keep looking).

I luvs mah kitteh Ninja, he is black and part Siamese (u can tell by the eyes and his meow). Originally I named him Ninja because he is black, but then he proved his ninjaness by disappearing from right under my mama's nose and then reappearing out of nowhere. When she asked how he does it, I responded with "He's Just Ninja Like That."
So his full name is Just Ninja Like That, Ninja for short.

I am rather random, I has a slight perverted streak, I like to keep a balance in what's goin' on in my life, and at times if I get pissed of enough at some-one/thing, I can be rather destuctive, violent, etc. (but that is very rare)


THE TICK

The Tick is one of the coolest people I know. I met him through my friend Drake, both of whom I gave their names. When I met him, he saw that my (and his) associates and I had "really cool" nicknames, he asked me to bestow one upon him. I said, "Well, tell me something about you, what you like to do, stuff like that." He responded with, "I love Guitar Hero." So I thought of the GH controller, and how the strum bar goes *tick tick tick* So I named him Tick and explained it to him. He loved it. He also asked me to teach him the ways of high school life, stonerism, mobbing around (including "Stoner Migration" and Stoner Formation"), and many other things. In return, he taught me the ways of juju, "lifting" (which he recently renamed "manufacturing"), how to be cool while still being me, being a ninja (which I never really picked up on, because I am a pirate but didn't know it at the time), increasing my pain tolerance, and lots of other things.

He helped me move out of my house when i turned 18 on 2/27/2009, not just as a carrier buddy (helping to carry my stuff) but he also served as a distraction when my parents unexpectedly came home. Later that night at my friend Crow's house (who I moved in with) he was part of an experience which is both the best and worst that I have ever had.

Tick stayed my good friend for a long time. One day in March we went to this one place across the train tracks behind the trailer court where there's a stream. There's these two railroad tie-like hunks of wood sticking out of the ground there that I call The Gate. Tick decided that we should cross the stream, to get to the other side which he dubbed The Nega Gate, and to start my program of increasing my pain tolerance (the water was really cold, but it didn't bother me much). We stripped down to our boxers and crossed the stream, declared that we reaced the Nega Gate, and crossed back (I'm surprised we didn't get any ticks, lqtm). From that moment on, we called ourselves Nega Gate brothers.

A lot of times we would randomly burst into song with either ICP or random 80s songs. During lunch break at school, we would go to the nearby Albertson's and "lift" ourselves some candy bars and energy drinks, and occasionally other things. I would go to his house after school sometimes and do stuff with him, like play GH, watch movies or On Demand cable, or just chill 'n chat. He really was a brother to me.

At one point he left to go live with his mom in Ellensburg, and I didn't see him for a long time. For a while he was a runaway, so he had to change his look and we had to be careful when mobbing around. He actually helped me through a rough patch, when the people at Crow's betrayed me and I had to run away in fear of my life. I might tell about that, but only if you ask--I'm not just gonna put my dirty laundry out for all to see, dig?

Our paths crossed again, the day after Halloween '09 and during summer break from JobCorps (July 2-18, 2010)

Tick is quite possibly the best friend I have ever had. If it weren't for him, there would be so much I wouldn't have learned so soon. Heck, he even organized a rush for me (at my request) to help me build up my pain tolerance. He really is my NegaGate Brother from another mother.

Tick has extended a challenge to all who are willing to accept: try to outdo him in profile length. I humbly admit that my profile may never be as long as his, but I shall make it quite lengthy in his honor. Following are some copy-and-pastes from his profile (I hope you don't mind Brother, but if you do IDGAF! WOOP WOOP!)

P.S. I HAS BEEN HINTED AT TO NEVER CHRONICLE HIS EVENTS


-You cry, I cry, You laugh, I laugh, You fall off a cliff... I laugh even harder... ^^
--Random chain thingys:
-Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
-If you have ever done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
-Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
-92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing their asses off while the preps died.
-If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutly no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you've ever busted a move/burst into song copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you think that those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
-If you've ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.
-If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile.
-If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny (like someone dying or crying), put this in your profile.
-It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

Tick once said, "I am the hottest, sexiest being on this whole planet. How you can resist jumping at your monitor and trying to make love to my profile right now is beyond me. My genitalia are immaculate. Seriously. That thing is so damn good looking I have a hard time keeping girls (and guys) off of it. Every organism on two legs wants me. I have to wear anti-chick armor just to keep em off me. I've turned so many guys gay just by walking by them. I've turned so many lesbians straight just by the sight of me. My j**z tastes so delicious god's c** itself couldn't taste this good. I haven't even tasted it myself and I can tell. Girls just scream with delight from it. The whole reason anyone has any sex drive at all is because I exist. I made the world so horny they can't help but ******** each other cause they can't have me. My testicles only have one sperm left each because I get so much action all the time. Girls bleed me dry daily. My p***s is so hot they named a brand of d***o after me. Chuck Norris himself said I was good in bed. And I haven't even slept with him."

●/ You say Soulja Boy, I say Blaze
/▌ You say T-Pain, I say Twiztid
/ You say Lil Wayne I Say ABK
●/ You say Flo Rida, I say Psychopathic Rydas
/▌ You say Eminem, I say ICP!
/ Copy/Paste if you still listen to Wicked s**t

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

"Brawndo islike riding a t-rex riding a rocket ship, and giving a parcel of coke to a monkey, who will inturn use it destroy the planet in the waysephiroth almost didin final fantasy 7,and then busts in on the scene,and is alllike oh no! im almost out of douche! so he went to costco and bought somecookiesand weed and combined themtomake someturkey dinner, which tastedexactlylikemichealjacksons haircut,at which point your hair bursts into flame, and you shout out to the whole world,"i enjoy the tasteof tangerines" when allof the power rangers bust in and play uno, and chuck norris wins with only 1 card, a get out of jail freemonopoly card, andthe batarang,and whenyoudeclare him a cheater, he delivers a kickinto your crotch that can shatter bones,and then immiediately turns around androundhouse kicksyour grammaintheface. and declares fable2 to be gay,when a bunch of nazi zombiesbreakintothe room and you shoot themwithray guns,andswingoscar the grouch fromsesamestreet over your head and getthe idea thatnext timeyou seethemoviebeowulf,you take a drink of vodka every time you hear the word beowulf,andyoucomeout of the movietheaters reallydrunkand endup somewhere on the set of rocky 22; goldendiapers. and searchesformeon gaiaand declares thati have a faggoty gaianame and chucknorris onceagain kicksyou in the crotch asindianajones swings fromthe roof spear fight ing tarzan and tarzan wins,because hes themacdaddy shiznit,andnowyou have like 999999999999999 hoursofgametime,andwhenever you die,you stillyell at the tv,because deepdowniside,yourestillanoob,andthat angers santa,so you and himfight to the death with lightsabeers, and yoda comesbackflipping down from the roof and starts drinking monsterenergy drinks, whileconvincing everyone topunch themselvesin the genitalia,which actuallyworks, because yoda has mind powers, and even chuck norris delivers apunch so mighty to his balls, that makes him front flip, and an emo flips his hair over his eye whille listening to emoish songs on an ipod, and everyone beats him up with a baseball bat,and he tells allthe doctors that he cuts himself, and noobs everywhere start to cyber. and that, my friend, is just the beginning. by the way, my gramm knows kung fu!nut because she knows kung fu, i would never mess with her. because if i would, the icp would break into the room, and would not inly feel my gram;s wrath, milenko would set my d**k on fire, while the teenage mutant ninja turtles walk around town, beginning another nazi era.


THE NEW & IMPROVED 10 COMMANDMENTS


10. Thou shalt register thine weapon so that in the event thou dost kill, thou
shalt be easily found and reminded of the original "Thou shalt not kill"
commandment. And also, it provides ample time to knit thou a lovely gun cosy
for Xmas.

9. Thou shalt still honour the Sabbath, but in the event thou art scheduled to
work, thou mayest swap Sabbaths with someone of a differing religion which has
it's Sabbath on thine day off. And also, thou can play cards, drink, and
generally be sinful, as long as thou promise to swap penance
with someone who's built up a glut of "Heaven Things."

8. Thou shalt honour thy legal guardians, unless of course thine therapist
suggests they're too dysfunctional to be worth the bother. Also, thou can put
them away in a home any old time thou feels like it, but thou should at least
try to visit once in a while. OK, how 'bout a phone call? No? Thou
art a jerk.

7. Thou shalt not covet thine neighbour's spouse, nor their lover that they've
taken for the Summer, nor their relatives, nor them either. Thou should buyest
a magazine.

6. Thou shalt not steal...unless it's antiperspirant. In that case, please
dost.

5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's baked goods, nor their gardening
supplies, nor their camper, nor their rotten children, nor that expensive
bottle of scotch thou gavest them for Xmas, nor anything that belongs to them.
Thou mayest, however, "borrow" any of these items and then
conveniently "forget" to take it back - unless it's a perishable food item like
coleslaw.

4. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain, with the following exceptions:
a) Thou hast inadvertently made an appointment with whomever did Tori
Spelling's last hairdo.
b) Thou hast been saddled with co-workers who useth "action" as a verb.
c) It's the second coming and the Lord has returned, but only if the Lord
seems confused and has wandered aimlessly onto your estate and they don't look
like they're about to do any yardwork.

3. Thou shalt not be tiresome in thine conversation, nor in thine choice of
clothing, nor in thine work habits. Thou may, however, go jump in the lake.

2. Thou shalt not pay a lot for this muffler.

1. I am the new improved "Lemon Fresh God" and thou shalt have no Gods before
me, not a "Potpourri God" nor a "Meadow Fresh God" nor even a "Double Action
Blammo Dirt To Hell God."


“The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight and this is the moment that I live for. I can smell the ocean air and here I am pouring my heart onto these rooftops. Just a ghost to the world, that’s exactly – exactly what I need”

I had a friend once… but the rope broke and he got away

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

OK, I did as you said and killed them all, now where’s my pocky, a*****e?!


Sex is when a guys communication enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation. Do you get the information, or do you need a demonstration?

**DISCLAIMER** All the stuff from "From The Tick's Brainial Unit" to here is not mine. I commandeered it from Tick's profile, and I don't know if it's all his or not...some of it's from DaisukAnata, and I don't know for sure if there are any more sources...Anyway, IT'S NOT MINE, AND I'M NOT SURE WHO ALL IT CAME FROM


IN TICK'S HONOR

(This stuff I found in other places, and it's not mine either. Oh, the joys of Interweb Piracy! Arrrr!)

It is proven that 95% of teens would kill themself if Nick Jonas died today. Copy and paste this in your profile if your one of the 5% who wouldn't give a ******** s**t.


Over the last year and a half or so I have been working on a story called Balance point. It's about a son's search for his missing father, the corrupt government who is behind his father's disappearance, the gov. project that caused it, and his fight to bring down that government, which leads to all-out war. I haven't gotten the whole plotline worked out yet, it's still missing some pieces, but I'm still working on it. Eventually I will unveil it to the world. Hey, if the author of Twilight could make money off of that crap, anybody can make money off of THEIR crap--including ME! (No offense meant to any Twilight fans out there.)

As previously mentioned in my name, I am a pirate. I have nothing against ninjas, some of my best friends are. Even my cat is a Ninja. I utterly REFUSE to accept the whole "Pirates vs. Ninjas" debate/argument/battle/whatever-the-bloody-hell-you-wanna-call-it. Pirate=Tetra=Zelda=Shiek=Ninja, therefore Pirate=Ninja. They are the same job class, they just use different skill sets. Hell, I have some traits of both. However, I have more Pirate than Ninja in me, so I'm a Stealth Pirate instead of a Ninja Pirate. Pirates may use more "technology" (aka gus and stuff, or in my case, advanced airships and advanced technologies) than Ninjas, and Ninjas have their own Ninja Magic (aka ninjutsu, like in Naruto), but why can't Pirates have their own magic, too? I do. I just need to figure out how it works before I can use it.