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~Dunno why I bother~
~Dunno why I try~
~Dunno why I keep going back~
~To that boy who makes me cry~

 

12345678girl

12345678girl's avatar

 
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Last Login: 06/03/2012 8:24 am

Registered: 06/09/2005

Gender: Female

Secrets Within

Gaia, I owe you much. An escape from reality when it doggedly followed me on. Friends, there to help me cope, there to guide me with advice, and there to offer comfort, from no matter how many miles- or kilometers- away it is they are.

My life is difficult, but I'm finally facing it. I have issues and will be facing them, if you know more details than that about it, feel trusted, but on a public box I do believe I'll be vague. Someone I love very much is too busy for me, though in reverse I have loads of time. Gaia gives me a place to spend this time, without constantly being aware of every minute I'm not in communication with him. Another person I love, though in a different way, is making it difficult with him. I honestly can't tell if it's her intention or not. The result is me being unsure about his love, when that was the one stable thing in my world. I'm left unsure about whether or not he even wants me to be a part of his world anymore. I feel bothersome and lonely, and hesitant to go to him when I need someone.

I'm trying to be strong, and be the best me I am, but with so many recent changes in my life, it's difficult. There are days I don't want to wake up, and nights when all I want to go is go to sleep forever. But the time in between, when I'm cheerful, and giddy, the same friends that're there for me when I'm depressed, rejoice for me when I'm happy.

Now for a little un-vagueness(Not a word, but I'm a writer, so I'm totally allowed to do that.). Michel the shade specifically has helped me through most of my hard times. He's been there when I need someone. He and Janice (the light) absorb a good deal of my rants, ravings, and tears. They have lives(real lives, they aren't teenagers in school like me) but they still find time to be there. It means a lot. (Hence, the special mention on my profile).

I'm doing my best to survive life, and though I can't claim I'm doing a superb job of it, a good deal of the credit for what good I am goes to Gaia, and the people on it. They're the ones who will hold me, when the one person who swore to always be there when I need someone... isn't.

So that's about me, in a magically depressing/inspiring/rambling mess. Some exact details are that I'm a teenage girl in my senior year of high school, trying to figure out what exactly to do with my facebook and twitter, and dealing with a lot of strain. Only some of which is self-inflicted. Oh, and I'm coping with a long-distance relationship that is starting to leave me at a loss, and emotionally rubbed raw.
 

Current Poem- Grandfather

Grandfather I never knew
They all say I'm just like you
Memories shared by my mom
My aunt and grandma too
About this and that
A letter written
Just before you died
How you'd be there
When they cried
I have little things
Your genes carried through
I act like you
Though they can't explain how
And my eyes are you rshade of blue
I've heard tales of your love
And how I'd've gotten it too
Well Grandfather, great in many ways
whereever you are
You have my love
Know that's true.

Comments

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Adryrn Report | 01/26/2012 6:14 pm
cool avi
ShatteredAngel08 Report | 11/21/2011 2:12 pm
Happy B-Day Girlie!!
Michel the shade Report | 10/10/2011 5:35 pm
Just been kinda busy. Didn't even get on my comp almsot at all on the weekend. I'm fine though.
Michel the shade Report | 11/07/2010 3:40 pm
*hugs* Well, the offer is still always there. Even if you just wanna babble about whatever, I'm always here to listen. smile
Michel the shade Report | 11/07/2010 2:59 pm
Umm, your little info thing, that used to contain an uber-long post. It says that you're kinda troubled. And I like to help my friends when they're troubled.
Michel the shade Report | 11/06/2010 10:54 am
Didn't know that stuff for you was so hard. You know that me and Janice are on here all the time. If you ever wanna talk, just IM one of us. We're always here for our friends.
The Credits Report | 10/14/2010 9:05 pm
Like the avi.
The Credits Report | 09/23/2010 8:23 pm
Heyyyyy buddy.
What you up to?
The Credits Report | 09/11/2010 11:12 am
Heyy.
The Credits Report | 09/06/2010 8:41 pm
xDDD Stress is pointless, what happens happens, just take a chill pill and do your best with your fingers crossed.
And I'm dying it an uber way more bright red and then I wanna cut it.... but I dunno what style I want to go with. All I know is that it would have to be short because long isn't an option. xD
 
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12345678girl
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Michel the shade
Janice the light

See me? I'm a random person Numbers met in towns. She first met me because I was randomly being annoying- god that's fun- and got mad at me. She still isn't sure how we're friends now!

See me? Numbers isn't even sure how she met me. She's pretty sure it was in towns, though. Oh wait! Maybe it was the skittles world. She likes to go to the lake and make drowning noises to see how many people show up. That's probably it.

I also like sweets.

Met in Towns or one of the similar 'worlds'.

Met in towns or one of the similar worlds.

Numbers first met me- well, neither of us remember. On her old account we did an rp, but as for before that, well, we dunno. I'm one of Numbers favorite rpers, and our Muses get along really well.

Numbers met me by joining an rp of mine back on my old account 'Gir and those Piggys'. We rp alot now-a-days, and often come up with the craziest idea's ever. I'm one of the people that if I vanished from the internet, Numbers would mourn me.

Numbers met me when I joined her rp 'Every Rose has a Thorn'. Once that rp died, we haven't started a new one, but we're still really good friends, and always seem to chat. Numbers considers me one of her best friends, both compared to online and off.

I met Numbers when she joined an rp of mine, suggested to her by Angel. I still talk to her now and again, despite real life getting in the way and a sucky internet connection. She's also currently in my and Angels rp guild.

See this person? I made a mistake and lost their friendship. I'm still hoping they'll one day forgive me, but it isn't likely. I deserve this, but it still hurts to have lost such an amazing friend.

I'm the oh-so-well-known Bubba. I made this account years and years ago, and eventually gave Numbers- though I certainly don't call her that- the site. You all owe me for knowing her!

The other three over there just so happen to be school friends. The first one is from middle school, the second two are from highschool. I get along really well with her friends, amazing as it is. Of course, she promptly made it so I've only met each of them once. . .

I met Numbers through a roleplay she joined, and we've been in a few together since. I'm one of the people who she regards as a good friend, even though I'm miles and miles away.

and I met Numbers through the same roleplay, or one just after it. I'm there to help her whenever she needs it, and I know a lot of her secrets, but I won't tell. I'm a very generous person, and Numbers forgives me for always calling her sweetie.