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To you, the reader, my significance is just that of a passerby out on a crowded street, or maybe even a mall. You probably did not even remember the last person who walked passed you or even bumped into you. Better yet, perhaps I am even less significant than that. Chances are you have not seen me or even heard me once throughout this lifetime. I have a question, what is the value of life? Is the value of one life more important than the value of another? Is the passerby in the town just as important as your mother or your spouse? With all honesty you probably would not value the stranger as much or more than the person you are familiar with. With that said, why are you still reading this? Have I really captured your attention this far or are you required to read this? I am writing from my brain. There is only one permanent truth that will be comprehended from my words. The truths of today are not the same as the truths of tomorrow. Is that true? Could it really be that the truths do not change but the human does? Alternatively, maybe its just their mind?
If you didn’t know, I am the kind of person who doesn’t always understand people. A lot of people have spread a lot of rumors about me throughout the years and never heard my side of the story. So I’m going to tell it how it is.
My mom’s mother died. My mom does not cope with grief well and becomes emotionally unstable. She is under the impression that everyone is against her and fights with everybody. They both lose their job.
They are stressed and can’t cope. They move. I’m constantly criticized about my weight and how I shouldn’t be slutty. Everything is stressing them out and even asking for a ride to a school event makes them snap. My mom starts throwing punches. I’m blocking with my forearm and pushing her away which my mom then complains that I’m hitting her. She paints a lovely picture of me.
I get into an anime series called Inuyasha. I get into martial arts. Taking a philosophy class . I am learning about honor and honesty and dignity. I live by this.
My sister is in middle school. She is drinking alcohol with her friends and sneaking out of the house for fun. My parents can’t cope and they are blaming me. I tell them it’s not my fault, yelling back. They say I’m the oldest and have to set an example. I have never drank, I’ve never did drugs or sneak out. Between the two parents, I’m thrown around, punched me in the face. My nose bleeds and I have a black eye. I wipe the blood with my hand and slaps a bloody handprint on my mom. She says that I beat up my parents. At school, they see the black eye and question me. I say I walked into a wall. They call services on my family.
I’m house hopping because I’m kicked out of home every other week. I usually have luggage packed with me. I’m always taking the lynx bus to school and home because they don’t want to be around me. I’m the bad one because I set the example for my siblings .When I am home, they tell the siblings, they aren’t allowed to talk t o me. When I am home they blame me for everything. I house hop and everyone tells me to just move out. I stay in school as long as possible because I don’t want to go home. I’m in just about every afterschool club I can get to because of this.
I get severe anxiety attacks because I can’t deal with this stress. I attempted suicide a few times. I had great friends that pull me out of traffic. Knocked Tylenol away from me. Got me to eat again. I was hit by cars. I was stalked, sexually assaulted, beat up and all my parents could say was that what happens to stray dogs. Did they forget that they kicked me out?
I see a guy in my sisters room and she begs me to keep it a secret. She tells me not to tell anyone that she sneaks out of the house and sneaks guys into the house. She says that they’re talking about how to help their friend. I believe her. My room is right next door.
My dad finds out that I kept her secret. Then, my dad finds out she’s having sex. My sister in turn cries rape, but it’s all lies. She literally says it’s all my fault for not telling on her for sneaking out every night. For months I felt guilty and believed it was my fault she was raped. But then I get the details from my sister. She is a liar. She cried rape, so that our parents would still care about her. My dad see’s me as the ‘rapist’. He says it’s my fault she is damaged goods and I don’t deserve a Hindu wedding. She is willingly going out of her way to have sex and I’m to blame. She literally admits to me that she tries to make our parents mad so that they kick me out to make it easier for her to sneak around
My family hates me. My friend says he is moving to Colorado and asks me to come and get out of this bad environment. I don’t. I wish I did.
My sister has our parents under her control. She says if I ever piss her off, she’ll call the police and make things up and everyone will back her up because nobody likes me.
I have to move because she’s ******** up my life.
My boyfriend at the time, he tells me not to cut my hair because I feel guilty about her so called rape.
He says that we will go to Florida Institute of Technology together and live together and get away from this horrible place.
Disney kills him.
I’m depressed. I want to die. I’m alone in a warzone. Everyone says I’m bad for crying about Austin’s death.
I have drunken douchebag relatives who think I’m the most horrible person in the world. They say Austin’s death made me a good person. Some of them flat out don’t talk to me after the picture my parents painted of me. My parent’s who don’t even know who I am and what they caused to happen to me. Stray dogs. How much of a big deal they made of my sister’s fake rape. I told them a man was stalking me. They didn’t care. “Take the bus, I hate looking at you. I hate the way you smell. I don’t want to see your ugly face.” They say.
I go back to my martial arts class. I need something familiar. I decide it’s time for me to be reckless. I met a random biker. Asked for a ride. We ended up dating. He was a nice guy with severe anger issues. He was the nicest person in my life that I could consider home. I spent more and more time there because at home it was a war zone. We moved out together.
He wanted more and more physical love. I kept redrawing the line until I couldn’t anymore. Three years of relationship, three cats, and a promise of a future wedding. His tempers got worse and worse. He would wake me up in the middle of the night and want things that I didn’t want to give. He was frustrated. He told me I was less of a woman because of my refusals. I said I was sorry. He told me I was no longer attractive because of that. That relationship ended. We had financing together. He left me with all the debt.
My parents paints a picture of me, living with a man. Relatives believe whatever they want to believe. They don’t understand my pains of my lifestyle.
I’m dating a sociopath. I’m suffering extreme anxiety and depression. I stop eating. I’m super skinny. It’s hard to get out of that kind of relationship. I’m working at Harley. I’m in a car accident and they want to totals my car. My parents say I can have the maxima but I have to get it insured. I can’t get insurance unless it’s in my name. They tell me to write a letter insulting myself and give them my ps3. I do this. They say the letter isn’t insulting enough. I tell them that I need them to do their part of the deal. They hand me the title. They paint another picture of me saying I forced them to. I have several roommates who have witnessed the kind of people my parents are. The car dies. I’m riding motorcycles to and from work that I borrow from work. I get attacked by a man in a van.
My sister is alcohol and drug dependant. She is obsessed with an abusive guy. They say I need to do something about it. She is so dependent on drugs and alcohol she threatens my parents with knives and also cuts herself to get what she wants. She steels their money, phones and medicine to sell. They bend to her whims most of the time. My brother hates my parents. He tried to kill my dad by poisoning his medicine. Even though I don’t even live there anymore, they say it’s all my fault.
Throughout everything the only family member who cared about me and talked to me civilly, and knows that I’m not a bad person is my Gran Paa. He is now dead. My parents bought my ticket to his funeral and all they do is demand money for that trip. Throughout the travel to Texas, they treated me like crap.
The reason why I’m not as ******** up as my brother and sister is because I wasn’t raised by my parents. I was raised by Paa.
I have had money problems severely. I am by nature a gullible and naive person. People take advantage of my kindness. For several years I have always tried to make my parents happy. A recliner, a laptop, a listening ear, extra income, resume editing, computer help, a counselor, a safe for their meds, tickets to shows, job perks, discounts, money. In return, they say I do nothing. They say I am nothing.
My sister is severely beaten by the guy she obsesses over. I told her not to throw away her life. She has so much better things she could be doing with her life. She has all the tools to be successful. She gets so angry beats me up for this.
The man my sister obsesses over broke her jaw. She refuses to get help or even go to the hospital. My brother hates my parents. He tried to poison my dad’s medicine to kill him. I told him he has no honor. I told him that he is ungrateful because they bend over backwards for him. He says some disgusting things. I slap him. My brother beats me up when I tried to defend my parents. My parents took my brother’s side. That’s the last straw.
I’ve tried very hard to keep the family together. I tried very hard to put them behind me. I always get called back in for help or to try to work things out. I give up. My life fell apart because of them. Now their bad decisions are going to cause everyone to kill each other.
I am warned by friends that they are a sinking ship and if I keep going back, I might get killed. I am told that they are not my family. It is time to stay away.

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