"Yeah, sup.. You're John's friend right?"
*Door in house shuts*
Yeah, is John here? He has my skateboard.
"Nah John isn't here. He went to another friend's house and he has his own skateboard."
You sure he isn't in the closet with my skateboard?
"What.. why would John be in the closet with your skateboard when he has his?"
Look... why ever he is in the closet.. I don't know and I don't want to figure out why he has my skateboard in there with him... point of the conversation is; John is in the closet and I have his skateboard.
"Why do you have his skateboard?"
I don't know... I um.. needed to head home and my skate was gone, I asked who took it and John wasn't there then I remembered he asked about riding it, but then it was about an hour and a half later and he still wasn't back or around anywhere.. so now I have his board and he is in the closet for some reason...
"Look.. if you want.. get in the truck and I'll drive you to him.."
So if I get in the truck with you... we're gonna bust down the wall of your house like the kool-aid man just so you can do a power slide of some kind next to the closet just so I could jump out..
"What are you talking about?"
Wait... don't interrupt.. I can jump out of the truck and knock on the door so I can tell John that everything is okay for him to come out of the closet?
"Nah... look... look man.. I can just take you to him.. alright?"
So you're gonna let me into the house to get him out of the closet?
"What... nah.. John isn't gay"
If we can have him come out of the closet... things would be a lot easier for me to get my skateboard...
"He's probably with Anthony and Spif and whomever else is over there..."
Yeah... I was just there, but if you can get John out of the closet or let me in to get him out of the closet so I can get my skate.. that'll be great..
"Why aren't you still over there with everyone and John?"
It got to be a sausage party so I left and why ever or how ever everyone got here faster than me and are in the closet now... I don't want to know but ya.. bout my skate...
"I don't know what you're talking bout so just get in the truck and I'll take you there and don't say we're gonna drive through the wall..."
Could you imagine if we did though... we'll be like Oh yeah! just like the kool-aid man.. could throw in some costumes, but then there'd be two of us..and yaaa...
There is only 1 kool-aid man..
"Look.. I don't know what you're on.."
I'm on to figuring out how this would work for the 2 of us if we had costumes, but only 1 kool-aid man if we drove through the wall and how i could get my skateboard from John who is for some reason in the closet so with all that to think about it gets kinda complicated...
"What the ******** are you talking about.... look I can't just have you standing out here trying to figure out halloween... so I'm gonna need you to leave."
Ay.. If you're trying to keep John hidden in the closet... I think it should be up to him to decide if he wants to stay in there so he can come out whenever he wants. *Yells* You hear me John.. its okay to come out of the closet.. there isn't anything to be scared of." *Stops Yelling* But on a serious note... I need my skateboard.
"Ay man.. on a serious note you need to stop saying my son is in the closet"
Ay man... if your son is gay or not gay I don't really care.. I've had gay friends and its just whatever but don't touch my um... weiner... but I need my skate..
"So wait.. you don't think John is gay?"
What... nah.. I don't really care if he is gay
"Alright.. well.. I can just take you to John if you think he has it"
Ay.. thats kinda messed up.. I've hung out with gay people and I haven't turned gay.. it isn't a disease.. I just wanna find John so I can get my skate..
Ultimate Onion Knight