Even as I write the title I can't help but pray it's not true. I wish I could make it so, but I cannot avoid knowing the truth... I wrote about her but never by name. I knew her at work and in life and she was surely more important than she ever knew. If I could do anything to bring her back I would.
My heart is broken with her absence and knowing it will never end, knowing that the pain will dull given time, makes me want time never to pass. I always want her with me, tugging at my heart strings and reminding me how she touched me in our brief time. It's not fair that I have to live without her, it's not fair that she was allowed to leave.
I keep asking if she is happier, I hope with all I am that she is. I wonder if she could see through my nonchalant manner and find how I felt and I hope with all that I am that she could. I just want to join her, but I know I won't be permitted...
I don't want to grow old or move forward without her to come along with me. I want to see her happy and hear her voice and feel her presence. I keep saying that it wasn't supposed to happen this way, it's not right. My heart will never heal, but time will make it feel distant. I don't want it to, I want it to hurt forever then.
She was so much to so many, I just wanted to make sure she knew someone could be there without always wanting something. She was my other part. Now she is gone. I pray to see her again, I pray to say she isn't gone, I just want the chance to continue...to make sure everything happens the way it's supposed to...
Maybe I'm being selfish and she is truly happy, it's very possible. I just want her to tell me if that's true. I always trusted what she said, even if I didn't realize it. I told strangers how I felt but never her, damn myself... Why couldn't I have a realization about my stubbornness without this?
Always remember: 2/21/14 Triple D, Danielle will be missed sorely. She touched so many but for me, she did it when no one else could have. <3
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