Freshman year was tough and I learned a lot, but damn I'm glad it's over. I learned about knowledge, work, dreams, budgets, Love, loss, struggles, hustling, addiction and maybe even redemption.... though I'm not too clear on that one yet. I'm saying life is like a school, and I'm not even halfway to graduated....at least I don't think.
So sophomore year is starting and here's what I know and what I need to learn. I know that you can't take love for granted because it can be gone in an instant. I've learned that triumph doesn't always fllow struggle, sometime just more struggle and more and more and more, follow. I've learned that impulses are great, but shouldn't always be followed. I've learned that dreams are great, but take more than a hope and a prayer. I've learned that no one will help you, no matter what they say, because they're all too caught up in their own schooling to pay attention. I've learned that those who you help are the greatest gift in the world, because when the chips are down that's all you have to show for who you are. I've learned that others will ALWAYS try to take advantage and those unfortunate enough to become jaded are the most venomous of them all, watch your back, even if you're not on the street, I've learned that sometimes you've gotta do things the step-by-step way or you hit a brick wall where you can't go any further, not because the will isn't there, but because it's an improbable feat...
What I want to learn this "year" is... How to be more open. How to make the right choice, even if it's hard or frightening. How to triumph after adversity. How to slowly build up something no one can knock down. How to rely on myself. How to be better to others. How to own up to my successes (yes, that's a thing). How to use the "right" way to my advantage. How to stop cowering under the shadows of giants. How to finish. How to follow through in the face of impossible odds. How to be more self sufficient. How to be less independent and also less dependent. How to appreciate love, in any form. How to relax. How to learn more. How to teach better. How to listen and be heard at the same time. How to get what's owed to me. How to earn more than that. How to be more direct.
I don't know if it's a compressive pair of lists above, but it's a good start and that's all I can hope for. I started this journey with you 10 years ago...and it seems like a blink to you, but it's been so damned rough for me...it's been tiring and draining and painful and joyous and filled with hope and tragedy, but it's been a journey that we all must walk. In one way or another you've hopefully connected and felt me, and now it's time to embark on this next leg. Is it 10 years long? I don't know, maybe this year is quicker than the last. In any case, keep following and I'll keep leading and we will see where we end up.
"Love not the body, but the Soul. Nourish it and reap the rewards unto your soul alke." - 2014
Manage Your Items