.k.i.t.s.i.e.
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I still dream of him and I think I always will.

Mostly the dreams are always the same just different locations. I almost always know he's going to kill himself and I always think I can stop him. These dreams he's almost never in them, it's just me running around trying to find him only to discover that I'm too late. It's not that I don't know there's nothing I could have done, rather I feel it's me hoping I could have made a difference despite the outcome.

I think he's still around occasionally. I got a reading from someone who confirmed that he had been contacting me early on, when the dreams were different. The dreams that aren't like the ones above have a more realistic quality to them I don't normally experience anymore that make me want to believe it myself. Perhaps, it's wishful thinking, but I like to believe it's not.

Maybe one day we'll get a chance to talk again. An honest conversation.


As equals.