...but I should really update my journal a lot more.
It's been what? 5? 6 months nearly?
So okay. 2015 so far.
January was all wedding planning, then my wedding.
February was a beautiful honeymoon in Rarotonga, only then to come back to work and have my manager Richard pressuring me into trying to get higher sales figures because I'm "a qualified dispensing optician now" and "all the stress of last year is over so I can focus on sales more" and stuff.
So then by March I was stressing, feeling I couldn't compete with the extroverted personalities of several of my coworkers, who were able to get good sales figures by being competitive with one another, and by being funny and chatty with the customers to make them love them. And that made me feel crap, because I knew I just can't be that kind of person, especially not with customers, being that they are complete strangers, and I'm a total introvert.
By April stressing about work was turning into depression and anxiety about work.
But then I went away on holiday to Brisbane for my cousin Christina's wedding, and that was nice.
Came back, work anxiety hit harder than ever. More pressure to get better sales. The more I tried, the more I seemed to fail.
Then came the panic attacks.
Then next thing I knew I was being pressured by Richard to see a doctor about my panic attacks, and then suddenly I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and mild depression.
So that led into anxiety medication, and therapy sessions.
May was seeming like a crud month.
And then Richard was away on holiday, and our store director David came in for a few days. Made some suggestions about some changes to the way the store operated. He suggested having one person essentially staying always at the front counter, managing customer flow and delegating tasks to other staff.
Marcus was very keen on this role, because although David clearly advised it wasn't a management position of any sort, Marcus naturally liked the feeling of being in a leadership role over everyone else, which that role seemed to give the feeling of.
David said no to the idea of Marcus doing it. Noone else volunteered.
I hesitated. I wanted to volunteer...but...if he didn't want Marcus to do it, maybe he'd say no to me too?
Then David said the role would be good for someone who knew a lot of information, technical info, to answer customer questions and make sure the right appointments got booked, the right decisions were made, etc. An experienced team member.
And so David asked if I'd like to do it. And I was delighted to say yes.
Now of course Marcus was an even more experienced team member than I am, having finished training to be a Dispensing Optician a full year before I did. And he'd been looking for a chance to act like he was in charge since...well, since forever.
So of course when he realised I'd pipped him to the post, he started to act like a spoiled brat about it.
And so I was even more determined to prove I was up to the task.
It couldn't have been more perfect. While David said it wasn't a management role, it felt like it in every way. Delegating tasks, making decisions about the running of the store, organising pretty much everything.
And as a bonus...no pressure to make sales, because I was too busy managing the front of store.
No having to make small talk with customers, or spend much one on one time with any one person. Just lots of multi-tasking, brief conversations with customers before assigning them over to someone else.
All the stuff I was good at and enjoyed, and none of the stuff I sucked at.
And so in those first few days, my mood did a complete 180. No more depression, no more anxiety. I was happy, and loving work again.
And David noticed, and was impressed. So when Richard came back from holiday, David talked him through the changes, and Richard agreed to keep them running. And so I've been in charge of front of house duties in store at work ever since. It's been great.
Not everyone's been so delighted however. Marcus became so fed up of not getting anywhere within the company he's now left. Another staff member who I also used to clash personalities with sometimes, Lorelle, has left too. And even Richard is leaving soon, as he's taking over a store up in Auckland soon. So there's been a few new staff, and it's been fun showing them things, helping them out, taking charge and stuff.
I don't exactly know what the future plan for the store is. Who the new store manager will be when Richard goes. I really really would like the opportunity to move in that way, but it depends what David decides I guess.
I am now (since Marcus left) the most experienced person in the store, and the only qualified Dispensing Optician. I'm the person who gets constantly asked for help with every technical complicated thing that happens. And I've shown I can do well at a leadership role. So I hope I'm at the top of the potential manager list.
But unfortunately both Mark and Amanda do have previous managerial experience in other jobs they've done in the past. But still, they don't know this business specifically as well as I do.
Unfortunately David is away at the moment as his partner just had a baby, and Richard won't give me much feedback because he's already mostly just focused on his new store he's going to soon. So I'm nervously awaiting a chance to pin down David, and convince him I'm the best candidate for a management promotion.
Anyhoo. Other news also. So my lovely husband Taina has been stuck in a rut career-wise for, well, the last decade or so. Ten years ago he started his first job working part-time at a supermarket, and finally, last month, he left that job.
It's taken a while for him to figure out what he wants to do, but after I encouraged a bit of soul-searching and internet career research, he came to the conclusion he's interested in a career in IT.
So, not wanting to put things on hold any longer, I helped him get enrolled in the IT course that he could do the soonest.
Which turned out to be an IT Diploma through Whitireia Polytech in Porirua, because that way he could start midyear instead of having to wait until the beginning of next year.
Taina had been telling me for a good year or two now that he was keen on moving, a new flat, new neighbourhood, just a bit of a change, so I figured we should move to Porirua, for a change and to make it easier for his IT course.
So as of the 15th July, now we are living in Mana, just North of central Porirua.
The flat's not much different, although it's upstairs in a block of ten flats, and it's right on the main road.
It's a lot warmer than our last flat too, which is nice, because I am a wuss when it gets cold. Rent costs the same, and travel for me into Wellington for work is actually slightly quicker than it was from Upper Hutt, so that's a bonus.
Well, anyway, I'm tired and it's late, and Taina's already in bed.
So I guess I'll just have to update this more often so I can write more details.
· Tue Aug 25, 2015 @ 11:11am · 0 Comments