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f u c k m y l i f e . >/
i apologize for the bluntness, but i am so sick of everything happening with my life. my family doesn't seem to respect my space or my things. i have a mother who constantly takes my clothes without my permission despite how much she knows i don't like people wearing my things. i have a sister who owes me a thousand dollars and has owed me this money for a couple of years now. yet she seems to think that she can go on trips to visit friends in other countries, go to cuba with her "boyfriend" (oh right. forgive me. i'm apparently not allowed to use the word 'boyfriend' because she called of their engagement, yet is now acting all lovey-dovey and cuddly with him again which is leaving me in complete and total confusion about what to consider them. friends with benefits, perhaps? nah. she'd probably be pissed if i mentioned that), and she also wants to go back to school. which she dropped out of before. which was why i lent her the money in the ******** first place because she was flat out broke at the time. and now she gets all pissy every time i bring up the fact that she still owes me. meanwhile, i desperately want to travel. i want to step out of my comfort zone and do something that i've never really done before. and i could have the money to do this. except, wait, i still need that thousand dollars that my sister is using to go to ******** cuba. >/ it must be nice. truly it must. to be able to step all over someone and completely ignore what they need or want. so here i am, feeling trapped in my life with a dead end job, absolutely no romantic life because, for whatever reason, guys just aren't interested. i hardly have any friends except for one person who tries to make time for me when she can (and i absolutely love this person for that; you truly are my best friend), and a few people online who talk to me every once in a while. of those people, only one of them would read and comment on this journal entry, but he hasn't been online in quite a while. not that i blame him. gaia has gone completely downhill and it's sickening that all they want to do is shove sales in our faces. there are hardly any good roleplays out there anymore (of the genre i would join) and creating my own seems to have failed as well. because. it's apparently trendy to get me excited about something and then crush me while i'm seemingly happy. and i know i'm probably sounding kinda conceited and selfish right now, but i really needed to vent and let my anger out somewhere. i'm just so sick of being stepped on and taken advantage of because i'm trying to be the nice guy that no one will hate. there's a million other things going on lately that have been bothering me that have pushed me to wanting to vent, but some of those reasons are better kept to myself, and i don't want to bother (or possibly offend) whoever reads this with more negativity.

but yeah. right now i'm bitter and miserable and needed to let it out. i'll probably be back to normal tomorrow, so if anyone reads this a week from now, you probably don't have to worry about me. i'll deal. i always do. -_-

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