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Just a little journal
Here's a little peek into my thoughts, daily life, and personal things that I don't really talk about with ppl. Mostly cuz I'm too shy. But feel free to read anytime
Back to school anxiety
Registration is tomorrow. Or, well, make up registration is tomorrow cuz I forgot to go last week. And school starts Thursday. IM NOT READY FOR THIS emotion_smilies/icon_0A0.png

Too many of my entries lately have been rants. Forgive me emotion_smilies/icon_sweatdrop.gif

I'm not gonna bother making my sentences/ thoughts flow. Ain't nobody got time for that when ur panicking and trying not to curl up and cry.

I hope no one recognizes me. I cut my hair and I'm gonna wear pants (I never wore pants a single day last year cuz of my past relationship. Wasn't allowed to). I hope no one recognizes me cuz if they do, they're gonna try talking and I'm gonna be ******** awkward and nervous as heck. Save me

My palms are sweating x.x my chest feels a little tight, and my stomach is bleh but I can't blame that on nervousness since I haven't eaten much

What if don't bring enough things to registration? They tell you to go to the office to print out stuff if you don't have it ready and I ******** hate the office >.< I don't wanna talk to more ppl than necessary, especially not administration and s**t.

And I don't wanna feel small and insignificant and god I'm gonna die x.x my self confidence drops a lot once I go back to school. Likes it's great and all over the summer cuz online friends are great and we're always there for each other and CB cheers me up and I can cook and be happy and just... ******** school is gonna ruin it. I don't have any close friends irl, I don't talk to them about my problems, vice versa. Fake ppl everywhere. Pretty ppl even though it's mostly all just makeup. Popular ppl and clubs and groups I could never join cuz I was too shy and anxious. I get so bitter around that tbh. Beating myself up over words I said or the way I walked and tripped. I doubt I can even eat lunch on the first day with how self conscious I get in front of others. Kill me now. Gosh

More ranting? Uh... I don't think I have anything else to say. If ur my friend and I message you about this s**t, just comfort me okay? Even though saying you'll be fine won't change anything, but do it anyway

I'm gonna hate myself so much tomorrow, I swear.





 
 
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