Deep in thought, I think about the past few days, pain, crying, wailing, and thoughts of suicide. Though yesterday was shocking. I yelled at Shadow and told him it wouldn't work, and for the first time, he agreed. And my suspicions of Kikichan liking me were confirmed. He does. A lot. And frankly, he's helped my emotionless life seem brighter than it has been for a while, and I really am lucky to have him here in my life. I don't love him, but I care about him a lot..and agreed to be his girlfriend.
I'm scared about what the future brings, but that will have to wait. For now, I just need to think positive so that the darkness doesn't kill me. I thank god or whoever is watching over me that everything will go alright. And although I want to be with Birdy forever, right now I really need Kikichan to live through this separation...he is my lifeline right now..