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i just was thinking heavily on things watching the walking dead. not the way you think thou. morgan suffered from ptsd. did quick reserch of it and found this,

Symptoms of PTSD: Re-experiencing the traumatic event

Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
Nightmares (either of the event or other frightening things)
Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
Symptoms of PTSD: Avoidance and numbing

Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
Loss of interest in activities and life in general
Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Symptoms of PTSD: Increased anxiety and emotional arousal

Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
Feeling jumpy and easily startled

all of one and some off the others pretty well describe the year after that 1 breakup before. well, more than a year, still go threw some of it. i wish i has sought help back then, maybe i woiuldnt be where i am if i had. or id of gotten here faster. its rough still at times. but thats just how it is. i just need something to focus on, to center me.