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I Dream A Dream of Time Gone By
Assorted things: Journaling, dream avatars, item lists, and Gaia headcanon.
I ******** UP AGAIN I'M REALLY BAD WITH NUMBERS FML

"I'll visit Loyal" I said
"I'll get two headphones yay!" I said
"Eh, I'll check D*C first" I SAID
"I'll just grab everything cool left here" I SAID
"EH I'LL JUST BUY OUT THE REST OF THE STORE" I SAID

I ONLY HAVE TWO MILL LEFT NOW I SAID


I'm sorry minghi... I hella can't get the dolls+Ship Interiors at this rate... I need another gold generating round of the project just to bring me back to where I was from mp sales before even trying for the tickets...

I'm SO bad with numbers and balance and I didn't check after every purchase which I should have and fdkljagkljfskl;hms;lkggf

I'm just gonna
sit in a corner.

This is why I don't get trusted with real money. Imagine how badly I'd screw up there. Misplacing commas and not keeping things straight andfdklafledls;da

I'm
********
I don't even feel good about writing right now since [redacted redacted].


....
I'm going to sell the D*C items I don't like in the MP, undercut, let the gold drain through tax, and be proud of having sunk this much gold. That's all I can do right now. it's just pixels, and I'm doing a service to the economy by losing as much as possible while keeping my dreams alive.
Goodness this is hard.





OKAY. PROJECT NPC APPRENTICE ROUND II.

GG
Quantity: 13,250,000

(compared to a previous worth of 21,014,560
new total 34,264,870
can get rid of that in dernier or loyals)

GG
Quantity: 18,500,000
...
....
...
New total: 52,764,876
Which I still.... can spend.... in gold shops...


...
It was worth a try. It was worth a try. It was worth. A try. It was worth a try.





I just don't understand why I can't have the needle from Game of Pwns and the belt from Deadly Thread. I don't need the other poses, I swear, I just need sewing things.





Things to take off of wishlist next time I can clear it safely without getting glitched:

Punk Raven (MINGH)
Josie's Journey (MINGH)
Teddy Bear Brothers (given as a gift for putting up with hate)
Tied and Entwined (Assailants)
Light Midnight Violeztin Hair (since that was for my MK mule)
Transgenic Soldier (anon)
White Rook Sentry (won it)
Edebel (don't want it as much anymore)
Sapphire Cave (thought better of it)
Puerile Pastel (won it)
Cindy (YULANIA ;c; also can exit out of tab!)
Megalodon (Yulania)

And then checking the dolls, low items, and gold shop stuff.





...I CAN'T BELIEVE I was so excited about getting SD Zhivago for 900k, and now.... he's at 700k LMP...

At least Cindy and Seer will go back down now, right? Right?





This is the journal of a mature adult. I swear. >_> I'm just a really, really good actor.
Well, maybe I'm not, I haven't gotten a role for a while, but when I finish my demo I might...
Yes. I have work things I should attend to. Yes.





Why are people such dicks?





this entire ******** ******** just made so many badfeels at once haha wow ******** i'll probably be crying for the rest of the week
i wish i made sense
i wish i knew what was going on and could control myself
all i know is that i'm a ball of sadness and hatred and fear, and i feel like nothing is worthwhile anymore
i didn't know i was this ******** fragile, and it's probably because of how uni is going too, i didnt need this set of feels

I'm like tearing up from relief at the people quoting me though, they're... so much nicer than I've ever been treated before on here when I've opened up, I'm so relieved and lost and just teary
and I have to finish and print an assignment for class in thirty minutes but all i can do is sit and stare and try to swallow and wonder what the ******** is wrong with me and why this is all such problems





tentacl gives me dysphoria
that's what it is
plain and simple
and I am not about that.
I... don't want.....
vague unhappy hand gestures in the general direction of





think of ALL THE ******** s**t i just did for nothing
this is now how this year was supposed to go

how much s**t I did, suddenly rendered meaningless

I ******** stole from a professor I actually like and finally get s**t together and now I just throw it out? is that it? I didn't ******** want any of this.

you just know that now gaia's going to be abandoned by the staff in favor of this
I quit, I quit I quit I ******** quit this is how it ends isn't it




...
and then
I'll come back in six months
wondering where everything went, why I can't stay away, what I miss, what I expect to get knowing full well I'll never get it
just like always.

I"m so ******** tired.





so this is how it ends

is this really how it ends?

i cannot ******** believe this is how it ends





deletes ********

stops talking to anyone

haha wow.... thanks for.... killing it for me gaia thanks
a lot





never writes cresolae again ._.





 
 
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