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I read a great quote today:



And it is so true. There have been many times in my life when I have chosen, however consciously or unconsciously, the path of remaining comfortable and in doing so, have failed to fully feel or be alive.

These days, I tend to live outside my comfort zone particularly when it comes to my training. I am often uncomfortable and awkward, especially when I workout in front of super-fit people. I am still fighting the good fight against these last 35 pounds, and it can be intimidating to try a new move in front of people who are 15 years younger than me, and who are amazingly fit and have been for years.

Since I am a beginner, I fail often. This is the learning process - to learn, one must accept failure. I run into walls, drop weights on my head, trip over my own feet and fall over on my face as I learn these lifts. And you know what? It's all good. At least I step up to the plate and try. I don't let the feeling of social embarrassment or discomfort stop me from working my body and trying to be my best. And each time I ignore the embarrassment or discomfort, and push myself past my comfort zone, the easier my training gets and the more alive I feel.

I guess what I am trying to say is never let your perceived fear of what others might think keep you down. Keep on trying your best. Know that we all fail, and it can be embarrassing, but getting out of one's comfort zone is a good thing. Challenge your comfort levels and chip away at them. One day, you'll step back and realize just how far you've expanded your personal boundaries and abilities.

I am not cute, petite, tiny, or waif-like. I am never going to be the belle of the ball, the princess of ethereal beauty and grace, or the shining example of fashionable, trendy and stylish women everywhere. Sometimes I trip over my own feet. Sometimes I walk into walls.

I am totally ok with this. Know why?

Because when I lift, I can be just so badass it makes me smile and reminds me of my real strength as a woman.


#liftlikeagirl
#deadlifting
#likeaboss

Every year I see lots of Gaians who get down in the dumps about Valentine's Day because you don't have a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend - no significant other of any sort. Many people who aren't being showered with "romantic dinners", candies, flowers, gifts, or any of the myriad of items commercials indicate people should be getting on this day can feel alienated and "unlovable".

What I want you all to remember, and really hear, is that this isn't true. It isn't about your not being lovable, fantastic, amazing, and worthy. It is a commercial holiday, and you don't need candy, perfume, or cards to tell how important you are. You don't even need another person to tell you this, though it can be nice to hear. You are amazing, worthy, and loveable. You are valuable, beautiful, unique, and loveable just as you are, in this moment. Know this. Embrace this as your truth.

You know what I do every Valentine's Day? I go to the gym and work off the calories in a box of Valentine's Day candies! I don't eat the candies first either! I take care of myself and show myself authentic love by improving my health and strengthening my heart. And the better I am to myself, the better I am to others.

Chocolates and dinners get eaten, flowers wilt, and perfume runs out but learning to respect and value yourself, to love who you are and treat yourself right, this is real love that lasts.

Today was a sad day for me. I am affected by world events, and the attacks on elementary school children, both in Newtown, CT and in the willage of Chengping, China just make me sad. Such horrible and senseless violence. My heart goes out to these communities and families, and indeed, to all members of our global Gaia community during this challenging time.

If you are affected by these tragedies, I have a few links that might be useful for you to help yourself, or a loved one, cope with the situations:

http://www.samhsa.gov/trauma/

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/aftermath.aspx

Please be safe and well, all of you. Wherever you live, whatever your circumstances, you are important to us and we wish you all peace, harmony, and joy.

Let's talk about failure today.

Over the past few weeks, many people have reached out to me to talk about failure - failure to eat well, failure to be active, failure to stick to a plan to get to their goals, or failure to keep the fat off. I noticed that in each of their stories, there is attached to this failure a sense of personal lack; a sense of overwhelming moral judgment the speaker places on him/herself. The stories are saturated with phrases like "I'm a failure - I can't do this" or "I'm a failure and I'll never succeed so why bother?".

When I hear such words, it disheartens me because one thing I know for sure is that it is only through failure that any one of us can ever truly succeed in becoming healthy and whole and breaking the cycle of obesity and personal shame.

Sometimes blessings come to us in forms we don't want or expect, and failure is one of those blessings. We all fail regularly at something in our lives, but what we need to understand, what we must get, is that failure is the way to success. Failure points out our weak places; shows us where we need to improve. Without failing, we would never be able to grow and become as strong, capable, and amazing as we have the potential to be. It is through overcoming struggles and challenges, through failing, that we temper our resolve and find authentic solutions to our problems.

With regards to losing weight and gaining health, failure is not a moral issue - it does not indicate how good of a person you are, how capable you are, or what your outcome will be. Thinking of it in such terms is self-limiting dialogue that reinforces bad habits and negativity. What you need to do is emotionally step back from the situation and view things critically. Failure is not a personal attack - it is simply an outcome of things you have tried. Failure provides us with a golden opportunity to learn and improve our lives if we view it in a healthy way. If you are not taking the lessons from failing, if you internalize and personalize the failure, you will continue making the same mistakes.

If you have failed to stick to eating healthily, rather than say "I can't do this - I'm a failure" you should ask yourself "Why have I failed to make healthy eating decisions?". Rather than say "I gained all my fat back - I'm a failure" ask yourself "Why did I fail to keep the fat off?". Always remember that "failing" and "being a failure" are two different things. Failure should allow you to ask the right questions you need answered in order to succeed.

The best lessons I have learned on my journey to good health have come from failure, not instant success. I fail all the time - every week there is something new that shows me my weak points. And I am grateful for the blessing of this failure because I know when I finally understand and embrace the lesson, I'll be so much stronger, happier, and healthier than I ever could be had I not failed.

Think about it

When I started on my path to weight loss and good health, I was impatient. I wanted it over and done with NOW; I wanted everything to be done in a certain amount of time so I could be "fixed" and "go live".

Now, a couple years into my project, I realize that had I taken a more rapid path, and focused solely on rapid weight loss, I would have missed so much. All the time, effort, and challenges along the way have been instrumental in developing my character and expanding my world. My process has shown me that I am physically and mentally stronger than I ever thought I could be; has reconnected me with nature and my sense of adventure; has made me comfortable in my own skin for the first time I can remember.

If you are struggling with the process and feel it is taking "too long" just remember that the path to great health is not about how long it takes, but rather, about how you change your world. Don't compare yourself to anyone else - your journey is your own, and it will take as long as it takes. Also, don't forget to enjoy the trip, because it is through the process that we learn more about ourselves and gain the tools to truly change our lives.

"A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us."
- John Steinbeck

Firstly, let me say that being at a healthy scale weight is good, of course, and I am very much for celebrating success on a scale, but for me it is not the be all end all of weight loss/getting healthy achievements.

For myself, I realized somewhere along the way in my journey, that this wasn't enough. If I continued chasing a scale number, which fluctuates day by day, up and down, then I was chasing a never-ending number and balance game. The key moment for me came when I asked myself some very tough and very valuable questions: What happens after I reach that number - what else do I have then, if all I have focused on is a number on a scale, but to keep chasing that number? Maintaining that number? Living, eating, breathing to maintain that number?

I realized that for me, chasing a specific number on a scale and living to maintain that number was not what I wanted - that focusing on a scale number (which I have been trained to do since I was put on my first diet at 4 years old) was part of my sickness. As long as I viewed my success primarily in terms of scale number, I'd be stuck in the same endless cycle of obesity and chasing the skinny dragon and I'd never be free.

So I shifted my focus - set a body fat % range that works for me, and have been working toward that along with making myself more physically capable; stronger, faster, better. I adopted fitness role models of women who are sleek, fit, able and learned what their body weights are and I was amazed - they are 160 -180 lbs - well-toned and sculpted, still very feminine, and sized 4-8. Inspiring - I never knew that was possible.

And gaining functional strength has been nothing short of miraculous - being able to lift things with ease, to run, to dance, to surf, swim, climb, hike, ascend - these allow me to take on life-changing experiences. I no longer have to wonder what is beyond the scale number because I know - mountains to climb, waves to surf, marathons to run, rainforests to trek through, nieces and nephews to easily lift and chase and play with - this is my new definition of success. To be able to physically and emotionally live without compulsive eating or weighing: to finally be free of the physical and mental cycle of obesity.

Just chilling at a Shinto shrine on the way up Fujisan...