Everyday I walk. This empty world around me, where life is gone. I've always been alone for as long as I can remember. I walk the empty streets, seeing stray cars cluttering the streets, old light up signs that no longer work. Everything just aging as time goes by. The weather changes, but this world is one of black and white. When the sun beats down, and the sky is clear it's only shades of white and gray. When storms are near, and rain falls from the sky it's just a dark abyss over the land. How did everything end up like this, and how did I even end up here? In this empty, colorless world. All alone. I ask myself all the time, but never find an answer. I'm the only person in this world, at least this part of it. I know there is life somewhere, but on an entirely different plane of existence. I know this because I never see my own reflection, but that of other people. When I look at the glass windows as I walk down the street, or at the puddle a rainy day left behind. I see something besides myself, and this colorless world. I see vibrant colors, and other people like me living their lives with what seems to be an infinite number of people. I don't know how many there are in this place, but it has to be impossible for someone to be as alone as I.
I can never hear them speak, I can only see them move in their world of color. The expressions on their face show the emotion they feel. Sometimes I can read their lips, and feel as if I'm part of the conversations. But.. While I can see their world of color, in my bleak world. They cannot see me. I go unnoticed. No body knows that I've lived here alone while they live their lives however they choose.. Or maybe how others choose, but that's better than nothing. That's better than what I have, right?
There are times I feel like people notice me, they pause and stare back at me. Could they actually see me? Could that hint of curiosity in their eyes show I'm not invisible to the world entirely? Could I have a chance to end this lonely life? Sadly.. I would have to say no. Because no one ever stays. Perhaps they realize I don't exist to them, or maybe they never saw me. Maybe they saw something else in my place. I don't exist, I'm lost to their world. Chosen to forever walk this place alone.
At one point in time, I truly believed someone knew I was here. I don't know how long ago it was, or how long it went on. But on day, passing through a colorless park, I noticed faint lights and colors coming from a fountain in the center. Just like the windows and the puddles, I could see into this other world. This world where people can live with one another, not alone. My curiosity was perked as I approached the fountain, slowly I leaned over to peer into the other world. I believe the sight I saw was what people would call beautiful. Light pink petals falling from trees, dancing in the air with the blue sky. People enjoying themselves, of all ages just living the day carefree. Children playing in the park with their parents, having picnics. All sorts of things. As I gazed into this world, a little girl. I can't say how old, she was small and.. Cute, I think it's called. She stared back at me, she stared so closely as if she was trying to take in every detail of something she saw. She tilted her head, her lips said a single word. Hello? I know it was a question because of her expression, she was unsure. But I was here. I tried to answer back, but she couldn't hear me. Soon after her parents came and got her, and she left.
I don't know how old I am, I don't know how long I've been here. I don't even know what I look like. I believe I'm fairly young, because of my body. But I will never be sure, I've never had to wash. I've never had to shower. I've never had to eat. Maybe I don't exist.. Maybe I'm just trapped in a dream. Or maybe I'm someone else's dream.
She came back.. More than once. I can't say it was every day, I don't know what that is. I can't say it was every week, how can I if I don't know days? But she came back many times. Each time she looked a little bigger, a little older. She would always sit at the fountain, her head hanging over the edge and ask like she said the very first time. Hello? With a curious expression. It never changed. She thought someone might have been there, but could never get an answer. I could never reach her, maybe I don't have a voice? I'm all by myself here, so maybe everything I say is just a thought. Maybe that's why I'm always unnoticed, because I can't speak. But still.. She came so often, and did the same thing. She would wait for a reply, or a sign, until she had to go. It was always until she had to go.
As time went on, she became a beautiful young woman. Her hair grew past her shoulders, down her back. A dark blonde color, beautiful all the same. Her skin wasn't perfect, but there was nothing wrong with a few blemishes or freckles. Her eyes a soft blue, and her smile so sweet. For a period of time she had both glasses and braces, it looked kind of funny, but I always saw her the same way. The biggest change was when she reached adulthood. Her eyes had gotten better, and her teeth were eventually what some might call perfect. She was a beautiful woman after all this time. During this later period, I think I actually connected with her. I had an idea that I never tried, try to touch the reflection. Maybe.. Maybe I could enter that other world some how. Maybe I could meet her. As I reached for the water, she reached her hand out too.. Did she know I was here? Did she know I wanted to reach her? When our hands connected with the surface, I actually felt something.. I felt a soft warmth, besides the cooling liquid much like rain. Did.. Did I really make contact with her? Did she finally know I was really here?
Things.. Would never get so fortunate. Maybe she didn't feel what I felt, or maybe she did and couldn't understand it. She pulled her hand back, a bit confused before shaking her head then left again that day. The next few times she arrived, I grew worried. Her expression was different, it looked both happy and sad. Then one day she arrived with another guy, they held each other's hands as she sat at the edge like she always did. I could finally understand their conversations. I could read their lips, at least.. Part of it. "Ever since ---- younger, I would always ---- ----- this spot. I've.. Always --- like there was ---- ----- that I couldn't ----." The guy only laughed a little though as she shared what she thought of the place, he responded. "Maybe ---- -- something ----, ---- you can't stay ---- forever with ---- ----- bit. We're ---- moving right? For ---- college you want -- ---- too, --- my job?" He asked, a bit concerned. "Y-yeah.. ----.. I do. I just.. It's hard to let go of something I've done for so long." She responded, looking down. Seeming saddened even more now. "Well, you can always --- to --- right? Your parents ---- --- too, --- family. When --- come to visit ----, you could stop ----?" After a moment.. She nodded a little. "----.. Yeah.. You're right. - --- always come ----. Thanks, sweet ----." She said with a bit of a smile, as they leaned towards each other, lightly pressing their lips together. I don't know what happened then.. Something swelled up inside me, something I didn't like. It hurt.. It hurt to watch them connect, and see what they were saying. And.. That she didn't say hello. She left with him, without saying hello.
I never saw her again. I waited, I waited for each time the sky in the other world would turn dark with faint specks of light in the sky, to the light blue color. Through the storms and snow, I waited. I wanted to see her again. But she never came back. It hurt too much to sit there after so long. I never felt such a pain before, and it was eating me away. I watched her grow up, I was there every time she came. Even though we never met.. I connected with her, and she left. I couldn't stay any longer. After sitting there for.. What could have been an eternity. She never came, so I finally left.
I don't know why I'm here, I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how long I've been here. All I've learned is my first thought of this place. I was alone in this world.. I always would be.