Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Subscribe to this Journal
The Mind of Little Red

Community Member
13 Reasons Ep 1
Warning: This is about a suicidal show and how I connect with it. I've been told it involves self-harm, rape, and a few other triggers. Please do not read if you think you'll be triggered.

tape 1 side a

First, I'm just gonna say this will contain spoiler in the most vague way possible. Second, I'm going to try to keep this as light hearted as I can, but I feel I may not be able to due to the connection I developed with the main character, our champion in the story if you will. Third, because of the connection I carry with our champion throughout the story, some of the entries may become emotional for me to write. I will warn you don't worry.

Okay, so this episode wasn't too bad, trigger wise ( I think. Please still be careful.) It involved a lot of emotional coping than anything else.

It opens up with the boy who will carry us throughout the story, Clay. He's devastated, and can't fully believe Hannah is gone. Instantly, I connect with our champion. As strangers who never knew Hannah take a selfie of her memorial-locker, Clay is silent and is foreign to it all. My way of coping is similar to this, and I find that he is trying to understand the destruction around him. He is racking his brain to know why he failed Hannah, why she did this with him having no idea. He loves her, and he's wondering where he went wrong.

I found myself in a similar situation when my friend died due to overdose. I kept racking my brain, just like Clay. Eventually, I realized there was nothing I could do since she lived two states away, but I still somehow felt responsible and silently coped with it.

Now, as I recall my friend's passing, I think of what her parents may have gone through. Surprisingly, not many of our friends thought of them, and in the show, the parents are actually shown in the aftermath. I thought this was executed very well as I started tearing up. The mother looks broken down and the father is doing his best to keep her together. The mother's posture, speech, and manner are all signs that this woman is broken. And I felt for this woman. Especially, when she brought up the little things like Hannah's locker. This woman has lost everything, and she is now realizing how distant Hannah was in the world. And I can tell she regrets it.

Another thing that got me about the parents is how hard every parent is now trying to connect with their own kids. Clay's mother tries her best to help Clay with the notification of an email, however, she only gets so far as Clay was never really one to talk with his parents. I like this detail but I also hate it as it alarms the mother, but I also don't blame her.

Okay, I have to say it now. ******** Courtney. I don't know why, but I really hate Courtney. The way she was super touchy-feely with Clay just sickened me because it seemed so fake. I don't know. It might just be me. Or maybe I just hate her. I don't know.

Anyway, we finally approach the reason of the tape. I like to believe that a place of innocence such as a playground or a park is a romantic setting. It's a playful chase with nothing but playful, innocent thoughts. I disliked Justin for ruining such a place, such a memory. However, it wasn't truly his fault that the place was ruined. In a sense, it was as he showed an innocent picture to his friends to pretend it was something else. However, he was not the culprit who sent the picture to half the school. He didn't mean for any of it, Bryce did. And I hate him, for he truly ruined the meaning of their innocent fun.

Overall, this episode was a great first step into the world of ... well... life. See, Clay is very relate-able to me, and in the middle of the rubble that is his life we see, Clay is deeply in pain while others are trying pretend they knew Hannah and glorify her death. I don't see this show glorifying what Hannah did as a Facebook post said. No one is truly listening to her, except for Clay (or so it seems. It's just the first episode). To me, this show is a reality within the one I know. It is showing me the aftermath and destruction of the loss loved ones will go through after what is done.

Guys, gonna be honest... I should probably continue watching this with a friend. It kinda hit hard with the mother and Clay. If I get too emotional on a journal, I'm sorry. I will warn you when my journals are bound to get that way. Thanks for reading. Don't worry, I'm okay. And I really hope you are too.

I guess I'll get into the next one soon.

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Play with GCash
Play with Gold

Customize your own avatar now!

Join Now

Have an account? Login Now!