I told my friends that I'd be writing them a letter/note thing to explain myself better to them and I said I'd write it on Saturday, but it's Tuesday. Recently I've been dealing with a lot of depressing thoughts and the depression has been keeping me from doing a lot of things. So, I feel like I should explain why I never do things with them anymore and why I'm so bent on not leaving the house most of the time. A lot of it is just in my head, but even though I know that it's all in my head it doesn't change a thing. I still get anxious, I still get paranoid, I still feel like everyone's staring at me. I'm so self conscious and uncomfortable with myself that it makes it difficult for me to leave the house sometimes. The reason why I'm writing it in a letter is because it's extremely difficult for me to talk about my feelings without getting really emotional and I don't like to cry in front of people. If i could change one thing about myself it would be my weight, I weigh 180lbs and I'm only 5'2. Even if I do count my frame size, I'm still about 40lbs overweight. It kills me being so overweight and so unfit. I'm not super fat though, only slightly. I don't think I look my weight. You guys can be the judge of that.
A little Creepy · Tue Jun 18, 2013 @ 09:28am · 0 Comments |