On the 26th, I'm making this entry.
Just a little one, about those days. I don't know if what I remember was really my sixth birthday, but I think it was. It was at my grandmother's house, which is long gone now. The front room's entrance was covered with a sheet, and we were shooed away from the other entrance as well. Then they let us in, and there was a lot of noise and ceremony. It was a big deal then. No one could know that before our next birthday, my sister would be diagnosed with cancer.
I remember when I turned 16, because it feels like just a few years ago, even though it wasn't. I pinned a dollar to my blouse and went to school. I think I had almost 12 dollars at the end of the day, which was (and still kind of is to me) a lot of money. I remember getting a dollar from a classmate I barely ever spoke to, how flattered I was. I used to think then, that I should never want to change. That I wanted to keep myself just as I was then. I can look back and laugh at how silly (and childish I guess) I was.
Yesterday came and went. It seems like time used to pass by slowly. Now I wish it would stop speeding up. I've learned to dress myself up more often, and while I'm still pretty shy, I am not as much so as I used to be. Nothing's really changed, though. I'm still the silly old me, laughing at the dumb things I said and did, even while reliving the embarrassment of doing them. But I feel like I did mature some, I'm trying to think about what I want to do before I do it.
I never thought the relationship my sister and I had, would get as bad as it did. I also didn't think it was going to get better, but it has. That reminds me, I have a birthday card from her in my purse, that needs to go on my bulletin board. While I still haven't traveled somewhere far away, I've been somewhere I've never been before. If I'm free, I try to do something with my time. And if I'm just plain old goofing off, well then, I'm going to own that too. It is what it is, and I take it one day at a time because I've been blessed enough to do that.
:.Two Cents and More.:
This is where I'll be putting angst filled entries about my love life, summaries of my day/weeks, avatar art, and basically anything else that doesn't have a place in my signature or profile. Hope you enjoy reading. :P 3/19/10