The accident keeps me awake at night.
I try to do other things and get it off my mind...
But it's really starting to effect my health.
I don't get nearly as much sleep as I need.
Every time I close my eyes, I am flipping in that car again and again and again.
I start shaking when I drive now.
My breathing gets all skippy and hed starts to hurt
Sometimes even my vision gets a little blurry.
I want to cry all the time now.
I keep hearing voices
I see shadows from the corner of my eye but when i look there is nothing
my chest gets this sharp pain on the right side
I look down at my hands and I dont feel like i am looking at myself,
i feel like i am looking at another persons hands
When I look in the mirror I see a girl
who only wants to stop, lay on the ground, and cry until her eyes are dry.
Sob until her voice is gone, and bleed until she passes out.
I try to distract myself.
I have Michael.
Landon.
My parents.
Broth and sister,
grandparents...
but I don't have Tori.
I want to go back and change countless things
But most of all I just want a good nights sleep
and be able to wake up and smile.
I want to forgive myself for everything I have done
I want to re-gain the strength I once had, but am now with out
I don't know how I lost it
or where it went
but I want it back.
 xX sunshine rAiNbOw Xx · Thu May 17, 2012 @ 07:01am · 0 Comments |
