I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. I feel trapped and cornered and helpless. The few people that I have tried to talk to have withdrawn and refused to speak to me. It hurts them, I guess. The problem is, I'm hurting every day and I have no way to help myself.
I told an online friend and he said not to joke about it. He'd had a friend that had done something similar and it wasn't funny. When I told him I wasn't joking, he told me the conversation was over and then wouldn't talk to me again.
I told my roommate and he proceeded to argue with me, telling me that my kids would end up with my idiot husband that I'm divorcing, or his mother. That it wasn't an escape. That being told that didn't mean I was trapped.
I told the one I love and he said to me that it hurts him to hear me say such things when he's so far away and can't do anything.
So, what do I do? Where do I turn? Who do I talk to?
The answer is always the same. You're strong, you're too strong to do something like that. And then it's dismissed as dramatics and lies.
But even the strong have their breaking points. And, to be honest, I've never felt that strong. I've always felt pretty damn weak.
So, what happens when you reach out for help and no one believes you need help?
I guess we'll find out, one way or the other.
I can't do this much longer.
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