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View User's Journal

Journal of me life.
Beware, this is where I turn off my filter, so you MAY OR MAY NOT be offended to what I write in here. I just let out all my feelings in this journal. So don't read if you're really sensitive.
Depression galore. xD
Well, tonight I just suddenly slumped down during class and started feeling depressed again. I expect this to last a few days, especially since tomorrow and friday i have nothing going on whatsoever.. Whatever.........

It generally comes and goes in waves, so I'm pretty used to feeling like this. It makes sense too. I mean, here I am, 25 years old, I don't have any jobs hiring me, I have no girlfriend, and I'm alone most of the time in the basement. I think it makes sense and is perfectly normal for me to feel this way. I just hope it doesn't get the best of me like it almost did a few years back..

The funny thing is, when I'm depressed like this, I never seem to react in extreme ways. I don't have a drinking or cutting problem, I don't do drugs. What I do instead is talk to an imaginary person whom I've created. I do that, as well as preoccupy my mind with computers, technology, movies, and music. I have times where I hang out with friends, which also can help, but not always.. I think a part of me seems to want to ignore the fact that I'm depressed, because A) I don't want to worry my parents or my family, B) Nobody would understand it the way I do, C) I want to try to stay as positive as I can, and D) I honestly don't think anyone really cares. xD

Ah well, I'll ride out of it soon enough, and I'll probably droop back down into it.. It's a kind of cycle I guess.





 
 
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