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I know I made typos, and I don't want to spend extra time to fix them.
I have to physically work my butt off tomorrow.
I have to walk eight miles and then stand for 3.

OY!

Hopefully it goes by quickly. I wanna get home and treat my self to some tasty food and probably an early bedtime too.

That's going to wear me out SO bad, probably.
idk


I'd like to get a paper done sometime tomorrow. PLEEEASEEE self, don't excuse yourself from that responsibility because you worked hard. Just don't do it. Push onnnn!!!!

C and Ped rant about my college friend
I had a friend like that that I ended the relationship with in that fashion, after telling her that she was pissing me off.
Sucks cause she's a real B.
Like, I don't want her spreading my s**t around just to gain popularity. That's a sloppy move, I believe. She should just spread stories about herself instead. Like, show those flaws.
That's one of the things that I dislike about Social media sites; there is this trend of only admitting victories and giving pep talks while spreading stuff about other people's flaws. It's so weird, hyper-individualism.


I get that my friend was bitchy due to stress, and probably also due to her tendency to stay reserved and not reach out to people with different opinions to help her personal growth, like, she had trouble initially understanding when I was joking around, and she didn't get why men didn't ask her out, and thought that opportunistic events not happening to her were unfair, when in reality she just had to go outside her comfort zone and seize those opportunities - even taking baby steps would be something, but she preferred to focus on other things.

I avoided and dreaded writing assignments up till now, and I still do a bit. We have similar approaches to learning curves that we find scary. That's a thing. A commonality to try to overcome together.

Like, I could patch things up with my ex-friend, but she rarely reached out to me, and when she did she awkwardly probed me for details on my personal life, which is fine and all, but I found it offputting, which I wouldn't have if we would have made our friendship more intimate over the years, but noooo. She rather not take that opportunity as well.

I'm okay with leaving that relationship.

I'm taking a different approach to my life. I want to get over that learning curve so that I can live a less stressful, less clueless life. I'm really only spending tons of time with people who are trying to do that same.

Spiceh food and paper stuff and capstone exp.
I gotta do something within psychology for my capstone. =/
Gotta do stuff to tie that up.


I have like...6 papers to do.


I can stay up late to get 2 1/2 done, but I'm not used to working on schoolwork for such a long period of time, so idk if I will finish it.

I just gotta not get distracted with funner things.


Found a place that sells delicious and cheap groceries. Pretty excited about that.



Okay, so I kinda got ovver my fear of writing papers today, I think.

My acdemic advisor asked why I dislike writing papers, and I told her because I do not know how to write well (which is obv some cognitive distortion going on there, because I do write p okay-ish), and that I have trouble focusing and I that I get anxious. She plainly pointed out that every single one of the students that go here have trouble writing.

O______________________________________________________O

It was like an aha moment for me.
smh

Like, I have high expectations of myself, and I grew up around people that expected me to read their minds perfectly, so I think that is why my perception of my writing skills is so off. Yeah, off...
Like smh. People who do crappier work get As while I fail b/c I dont' turn in large chunks of my work.


So like, I'm trying to figure this out, what creates my anxiety I mean.

is it Cognitive distortion about writing -> anxiety -> easily distracted -> difficulty completing work -> cognitive distortion about difficulty of completing writing assignments -> addition anxiety while confronting a writing assignment.

Are there any other versions of this scenario or variables that you think that I overlooked?

Leave a comment sharing your thoughts pls and ty.

My fear of writing papers & an independent study oportunity
So yeah. I really dislike how little I know about critical thinking and grammar etc, but I have rarely taken the time to approach it, because It is almost always accompanied with this thought of "idk wtf I am doing" and corresponding anxiety.

Last summer I made it a point to read some books that I had on grammar and research, but I barely touched them, mainly because I was lonely, and wanted to spend time with other people who wanted to help me more than spending time alone with my wavering thoughts on all of the above.

Maybe not so obviously, the kind of social support that I get is a very sensitive topic, and coping with it is a very hard struggle of mine.

An fb friend of mine made post yesterday, about how he is now finding out that he doesn't need other people to make him happy, but, social support is vital. I forgot to mention that in my response to his post. Just fixed it.

Social support is vital to keep you on track and help handle the load that you carry.

Anyways

So yeah, this new opportunity has come up with a former philosophy teacher. She is someone who is willing to get involved with students lives in order to help them reach academic success, so she will be able to provide with with adequate support in finishing a philosophical paper. She also aims to promote students to reach their potentials, which is helpful to me because my possible writing potential seems so freaking far away, like, I can't even see it!

So yeh. Gud stuff.

I wanted to write about this so that I can look back and remember a more recent time of me being driven to overcome a very steep and slippery learning curve.

Kat Blaque and her bf do the boyfriend tag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDKuRB1TFGE

It gets better like a fourth of the way in. They are so sweet, and have such interesting personalities, and are funny, and adorable, and loving, and are very understanding of each-other.


I should really connect with people face-to-face more often.
I know way too much about some of these Youtubers.

Remember that rude friend that I meantioned
This article applies to how we both decided to end our relationship.
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/lies-about-negative-people/?utm_content=buffer5175b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer


On one hand, she doesn't want to control her typical rudeness due to stress, and no one else in her life is asking her to do that either. On the other hand, her rudeness and lack of foresight into the impact of how she acts result in her acting in ways that really bum me out.

Maybe we just need to give ourselves more space.

retro_rage
Community Member
retro_rage
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