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Niatsu's Journal
God's watching me with his blind eye
After a while the size of the needle doesn't matter. Your enethophobia subsidizes as the ends justify the means. Life is s**t and perpetually stirring in this porta potty you try to reach for a lifeline, which in this scenario manifested itself as a chemical substance that makes you forget about the stink. Forgive the run on sentences, all just a reflection of how my mind and spirit are running on empty; yet running regardless.

You cut off my feet and now I have no means to run, no way to stand on my own. Here I am, out of options and ideas of how to be self-sufficient. I just want to be live without wheezing in my chest over struggle of the daily grind. Survival seems hard enough, but to be able to sleep at night with a peace of mind, now that becomes a fairytale for the adults.

Hey friend, writing to you from camp. There was a double homicide two blocks away, but don't worry, I feel safe. Though they haven't made any arrests, i don't see a reason why anyone would want to harm me. Well I lied, there are people who feel like I slighted them, however delusional they may be, they still feel that way. They may seem like their interest might be my organ harvest, but the joke's on them, my organs are no good. Yeah they've been on their way to giving out through poor maintenance and lack of doctor's visits. But it's ok, I'll just laugh up at them as they get nothing out of all their troubles over a useless corpse.

And she was a shithead. So I cut her up into little pieces, poured some gasoline, and lit her on fire. The effigy that is, I would never dare to do that to a real person. I am not God to make such decisions after all. That said, I had to kill her. It was a combination of things, the constant disappointment, not caring about my feelings, lack of self-improvement, and generally manners that would land her in questioning at the Geneva Convention. I mean the b***h would suck my c**k or love me, so she pretty much decided the verdict herself. I'll think fondly of the times I put needles in you and twisted your little embroided body.

Dear mom, has it ever occurred to you to pick up a book. Now let this be your literature and don't look at it for it's face value. Rather, consider the ideas in here and compare them to your own inner workings and how they relate or how not. It's time to abandon the lifetime of mental shyness and this is one of many keys & doors that will liberate you from the mental prison you built up over the years. Along the way you might discover more compassion for different types of individuals living in this world. Remember that every little boy and girl should be taught this: Nothing in this world has to happen, unless you make it so.

Turn up that thermostat, put on that bikini and pretend you're on a beach. Lights blind your eyes and you have that over the top I'm-having-the-time-of-my-life smile, which is forced of course. Sure you're having fun, who wouldn't want to be in your position, but in the back of the mind you know what it's like outside. It's miserable and that chips away the moment of happiness you're in. It's cold, gloomy, and raining on and off. On days like that you wish you didn't need to have windows. After-all there's nothing to see but the rain dripping from the roof. Rain that reminds so many people of tears and in turn what in your life takes you closer to the brink of them. This rain forms puddles, gets children sick, lands on tombstones, and trickles down to coffins. This rain does not form life. What scares you the most in that moment? That the outside might be a very clear depiction of your insides.

I am out of clever ideas and thoughts for tonight. I bid you a lovely whatever it may be.

Community Member
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