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The Ramblings of a Lonely Crazy Person
The past few days my room mate has been in an extreme amount of pain. It’s a pinched nerve or pulled muscle in or around his shoulder area. The night between friday and saterday was really bad because he only got an hour or two of sleep. Last night he was heavily drugged and slept in the living room because laying down in bed was too much for him. I feel really bad for him and there is nothing I can do. I’ve been trying o be really nice and any time he falls asleep I leave him there because he really needs it. I nearly lost it several times though. He’d sit in his chair and shake his legs about six inches to a foot off the floor. Made him look like an infant kicking in the air. I’m trying very hard not to pick at things he does or complain about anything, and I’ve been in serious pain before so I know how he feels, but that behavior just makes me think so much less of him…

Anyways, yesterday I shaved my head. It is still a bit chilly to do it, but I went ahead and shaved it anyway. Not sure about anywhere else, but for a female to shave their head is an odd thing in America. I did it once in high school and was picked on for it. I would have lied and said “I’m doing it to support a friend who has cancer you a*****e”, but I actually had a friend who knew someone with cancer, so I thought that would be wrong to say at the time. I let it grow out after I left high school, then I had trouble with getting over heated and remembered how much cooler it was without hair, so I started shaving my head again. It feels a bit liberating to me. My dad always told me I had to have hair, in a daycare place I was sent to I was told how to have my hair (not too short, not too long, can’t have “the weird one”), in high school I was in JROTC and they told me how I had to have my hair, and in a general sense society around me told me how to have my hair. I f*cking hated it. Since middle school I had wanted to shave my head and I was told I wan’t allowed and when I finally got to do it, it felt so good. I could never keep it clean enough, or style it very well and I hate when its in my eyes or covering my ears. Its just so nice without it. So much easier to keep myself clean and I spend less time in the shower so I use less water. Not to mention the savings on shampoo smilies/icon_xd.gif Every once in a while my dad will mention that he thinks I look better with hair. I of course ignore it because its my head and I will do whatever I want with it.

After I shave my head I usually feel happier. Maybe it has something to do with all the crap I’ve associated with my dislike of my own hair? Meh, whatever. Today is rather nice day for me.

I’ve been thinking about how to reduce the bills around the house somewhat. I came up with “low power days” where I’d basically use as little electricity as possible. I’d still get on the computer, but I’d only be on for about an hour and the rest of the time I’d either sleep, read or use a handheld device to play games. I’ve read most of the books in the house, and I have very few handheld systems and games. Game boy advance and psp is what I have and the games I have for them I’ve either already finished or I got bored of. One I straight up can’t finish because I suck at it. There are some art and sewing projects I never finished, though I haven’t wanted to do either one in months. I could clean I guess. I am an awful house keeper at the moment, cleaning would certainly help fix that. What to do, what to do….

I didn’t write much this week. Knowing what I’ve done so far is bad is discouraging. If I can make myself get obsessed about writing a little bit on certain days like I do here though I would probably do much better as far as word count goes.

F01 = 727
F02 = 0
SF01 = 0

I know there is something I’m forgetting. I’m going to remember later and then be too obsessive to come back and put it in, then I’ll forget again before its time for the next entry. Damn me and my faulty memory!

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