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((before you read i'm letting you know i'm posting this anywhere I can so maybe some one can help me better myself... i think that's right..yeah..because right now i feel lower then dog dump))

So I guess I ******** up right. I mean this may not be a big deal in subject matter to most guys, but I got my girl upset. To me that's like a mini-apocolypse. Yeah it's that big, and that bad in my eyes. I mean we talked about things and I guess It worked out for the better. It really depends. I kinda wanna spend the day with her today. Well no kinda I just really do, but I don't know if I'll be able to with all things considered.

I don't want to go on a rant about bad things because really there are none for that matter.I AM damaged goods for the simple reason that all the girls I've been with have messed me over in some sort of way. Some more drastic then others. It spans from almost losing a great friend to being cheated on multiple times. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my mind is completely screwed up now.

I wish I could change that. For her not myself. I want to make things better for her really because she doesn't deserve this sort of thing. Man Tommy if I ever needed your advice it'd be now. You see she has never done anything to really upset me in any form or fashion.Not shocking just awesome, but when I upset her it's like a great sin that i've commited. In my eyes mind you not hers.

It's not even about her having guy friends at all.(oh my it's not about that!?Tell us Jo what is it about!?) Glad you asked. It is more along the lines that I'm slightly jealous. yeah jealous that any guy could spend more time with her then I am able to at the moment. So much has changed in my life, and it's kind of crazy, but mostly for the better.

Things will get better I know, but first I have to work on my own flaws,because I don't want to lose her over something stupid I've said or done due to my little problems. That I have aquired over the years of getting my heart broken. God that sounded emo but oh well it's the truth and any body who knows me could easily say that.

On the one hand one hang up I have gotten over is my paranoia which is very good I mean that is great. It's amazing to me that she got me over that, but there are still the other little flaws I didn't even notice till last night I guess.I couldn't name because i'm not sure if they have names, but please some one give me advice and help me so I don't ruin a good thing...thanks...