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Yep, you guessed right. This is going to be the part where I list things and behaviors that piss me off. ^^
Warning. I tend to vent on these topic and trust me, this rant will not be a child-friendly one. If you have sensitive ears (Or eyes, as it were) you might want to leave now.
Today, I'll be addressing some of the childish behaviors I've had to put up with as of late.
First off, the "emo" behavior. No, I do not care if you look like one. I do not care if you listen to "emo" bands (Even though the word "emo" is just a bastardization of a totally different genre of music as it is today, I'll let that slide for now.) or if you look "emo" (Once again, bastardization.)
I do care if you decide to bring a fuggin' raincloud over your head that fits everyone in the room. Everyone has "bipolar disorder" or "manic depression". These are just words to justify your bitching at everyone who isn't assertive enough to tell you to go the hell away. Nobody wants to listen to you pissing and moaning about how horrible your life is or how nobody likes you or how you're just soooo lonely and so on and so on. These people need to just talk to a mirror. I'm busy enough as it is and I don't need someone wasting my brain cells while talking about how shitty their lives are and how they have no friends. No s**t, you have no friends! Want to know why? Because they hate listening to people b***h.
And then--as if they were going to win a reward for being the very definition of a self-absorbed t**t--they counter with accusations of me being an a*****e because I don't understand their "condition". How they're bipolar or how they have ADD or some bullshit of that sort. And then they go on to say that somehow their "condition" is so acclimated, the world's best psychiatrists can't do s**t! As my good friend Mav once said: "*sneeze* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."
Personally--and I know this may sound mean--I don't care if your life is a hellhole. Just quit trying to drag me into it!
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for lending a shoulder to cry on and all that jazz. But when I have to sit and pay attention for an hour and a half listening to someone b***h about how McDonald's got their order wrong--not to mention read all the asinine poems and suicide notes that they wrote when the guy wouldn't give them a refund. Nobody gives two shits, alright? If you want any scrap of respect that you can possibly get from me after pushing all of this bullshit on me, please do the following: Go to your room, lock the door, take your favorite suicide note that you wrote at the McDonald's drive-through. Then write a P.S. explaining why exactly you performed this act of stupidity. Then go ahead and cut yourself, swallow a bottle of tranquilizers, hang yourself, whatever you prefer. I'll laugh at your funeral.
Next up: You snobby little bastards who have to examine everybody's musical tastes and compare them to your own. I don't know how many people have scrolled through my iPod and said "Oh my god, this is s**t. You f*****t, how can you listen to this? Here, listen to My Chemical Romance/Fiddy Cent/Justin Timberlake/Whatever the hell I think is good."
Holy s**t, I thought that my musical preferences were...I dunno...MY MUSICAL PREFERENCES! Thank you so much for clearing this up for me! Please, tell me all the songs on your playlist so that I can mold mine to be exactly like yours!
For a generation of people that are obsessed with being "Unique individuals" and crap like that, you sure do want others to be a lot like you.
Another little side-thing (And I know I b***h about this a lot. Deal with it.) I must mention is when people give me their iPods and say "Hey man, check out this new street s**t." and then expect me to nod my head and praise this aural homicide that they've hit me with. And then when I--in my most diplomatic and polite tone--say "Hehe, sounds good. I'm not much into rap, though", they have to look like I just told them martians had landed! One instance, the guy said, and I quote: "What? But you're black; you have to like rap! Oh, I get it. You're a jazz guy, right?"
...God, I wanted to kill him. He's lucky I do actually like some forms of jazz. But on a side note, I'm just as white as I am black. Yeah, my mom's white and my dad's black. In America they call me black and in Africa they call me toubab (Which is translated to "white man" wink . Both equally piss me off. I'm not black, I'm not white, and I don't want to be associated with either. Moving on!
You know when someone confronts you with a really serious tone and says "Hey, I've got to ask you a question and I want you to answer totally honestly." and then when I answer something that they don't want to hear, they get all offended and pissy at me for it? If you wanted me to flatter you and stroke your ego, just say "Hey, I'm going to ask you a question. Please lie to me to make me feel better about myself."
I still won't do it, but hey, you tried. Right?
Now...the most annoying instance of this--and I'm going to pick on you girls on this one--is the dreaded three words that every guy's girlfriend is going to utter at one time or another. "Am I fat?"
This is possibly the worst question in the history of bad questions! Want to know why? Because there's no right answer! You say no: They start whining and accusing you of being a liar just to circle around and ask you again. You say yes: They get all offended and don't talk to you for a period of about four-to-six weeks. Period varies depending on how much you brown-nose them afterwards. It's especially infuriating when they know they're not fat and are just trying to get more flattery and attention out of you. This doesn't just pertain to weight. People will say "Oh mah gawd, I'm so ugly/stupid/annoying!" just for people to go "Oh no you're not. You're really pretty/smart/not annoying." Well guess what, you are plenty annoying, and probably stupid as well if you have to keep looking to validate yourself with peoples' pity complements. If you really need that, go talk to your parents to have them tell you how special you are. Just leave me out of it.
I have a lot more to go on about, but I'll leave that for another day. Happy rantings!
~Magus~
 Aquas Magus · Mon Mar 26, 2007 @ 03:16am · 5 Comments |
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