Condemned
By Sal Attinello
By Sal Attinello
“Johnny, go to bed,” a voice said to the ears of a 21 year old man lying on his bed in the condo he owned. “Go to bed, you haven’t slept in days go to sleep.” He turns to his radiant GMC clock, shone in his face it reads 4:17 A.M. August 18th 2012. “I need to call Cody,” the man says to himself. He picks up the phone and dials the 10-digit number as it rings on the line. The answering machine comes on while two voices start to talk “Hey this is Cody…. and Kelsey Christman leave us a message.” The man laughs thinking about how much him and his brother used to get along during his childhood. “Hey Cody it is just Johnny calling to wish you a happy birthday and hope you have a good one I sent you a check in the mail I don’t know if it will be there in time ok? Well I have to go love ya guys talk to you later I hope, bye.” He hangs up the phone and rolls over as the voice whispers to him “sleep Johnny.”
Journal # 22 Referring to voice, Subject Cody
Today it wouldn’t leave me alone. The haunting voice that won’t ever leave me alone. I haven’t slept in three days it is driving me crazy it keeps talking about how it is going to kill him. He wants me to kill Cody, but he is my brother I tell it. I try to drown it out but it keeps getting louder, I don’t know what it is. I want it to go away but it taunts me reminds me of the bad things he has done to me. When he ran away and our dresser crushed me, when he buried my Spider-man toy in the snow. Everything is adding up and I don’t want to do anything bad. Please God help me!
End of Journal
“Hey Zero, come on man get up,” called a voice to a boy spread out lying on the cold cement. He opened his eyes and saw his best friend Eamon. “Hey dude come on get up.” The boy started to stand up and dust himself off, his name was Zero. He had a real name but his friends just called him Zero because they thought he was completely stupid. “Hey man you ok?” said another voice that didn’t belong to Eamon. Zero looked around and saw his other friend Nick. “Yea I guess I’ll live. What happened?”
“You jumped off the second story of the mall remember you skated off it for the video and fell. I think you almost broke your arm with that.”
“Oh yea I remember now, let’s go home before we get caught, plus I’m not feelin to hot.” They made it all the way back to Zero’s house. Zero and the gang lived in Santa Anna, California, they hated it. They were always wishing they could get out of there, but they were only sophomores in high school. They laid Zero down on the couch in his living room. “You gonna be ok man?” asked Eamon with a worried look, and propping Zero’s skateboard against the couch.
“Yea I’ll be cool you guys take off I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Ok man, later.” They both waved and walked out of the door. Zero Just sat there thinking, “What should I do? I could ask Savannah to talk to her for me. Nah that’s not cool this is my problem. What am I gonna do?” He dug his face into the pillows on the couch and stretched out on the couch. As soon as he had stretched out some one came over to him and sat right on him crushing his body.
Johnny woke up in a cold sweat, his head throbbing, his heart aching. He looked around his condo and then back at the clock again. This time the clock read 7:14 A.M. “Time to get ready for work,” he thought as he slumped out of bed and to his bathroom. He turned on the warm water for his shower then double thought it and changed it to cold water. He looked in the mirror and started to hear that voice again. “You are worthless, she would have never cared about you. There is nothing about you to care for. Why would some one care about something so undesirable? Now Brian obviously he was perfect cause she gave herself to him, she saved herself for him, wouldn’t even give you a chance, you don’t deserve the chance you worthless scum he is better then y-,“ at that moment the mirror shattered. Glass was all over the counter and in his knuckles he was on his knees crying and for the first time in 15 years he prayed. He prayed for this to stop, he didn’t want to be in pain anymore. He stood up and wiped away his tears and took off his clothes as he stepped into the shower. The water ran down his hair and his body as he stared at the black and white checkered tile in his shower.
Phone call recording # 15 Patient #3789 Subject: medication
D: Hello?
J: Doctor I need your help.
D: What is it?
J: I need more medication I ran out and the voice is getting louder.
D: Already?! Didn’t I just give you a full bottle last time you visited me and that was just what 2 weeks ago maybe.
J: I know but I need them. Oh no he wants me to leave I have to go I am sorry.
D: Wait who is ther-
-The phone hangs up-
He screamed out “JEESUS, What the hell’s your problem?” Zero looked back to see his brother Brenden crushing him. “BRENDEN! Get off of me!” Brenden got off of him and smiled as he took off running. Zero was mad and frustrated while he hobbled to his room. He pushed play on his CD player as H.I.M. started to spew from the left and right speakers. He laid down on his bed and looked at the ceiling as tears started to well in his eyes and he heard a voice, “come on fatty get outside. She will never care for you if you don’t look good. Looks are all that matter in this world anymore. She doesn’t love you she loves-“ he turned the music up louder with his remote and sang to try and drown out the voice. A couple seconds later a loud boom came on the outside of his door. “Turn that crap down,” yelled Zero’s dad his thick East Coast accent coming through loud and clear. Zero grabbed the remote and turned the music down, “a*****e.” He thought as he started to read his Stephen King book “IT.” About half an hour later another thunderous boom came on his door “Get ya fat a** out hea.” Zero sighed and dropped his book knowing he was about to get in trouble for something. “Yea dad?” Zero said in a monotone. Zero felt the hand connect to his face and he fell as he hit the floor.
The phone rang as Johnny continued to dose off in the shower. He hurried and washed his hair and body. He jumped out of the shower and dried off as he pushed the button on his answering machine to listen to the message as he got dressed. The message replayed, “Hey Johnny where are you man? Your gonna be late for the video. Well hurry up ok talk to you later, bye.” Message ended and Johnny was out the door by the end of the message. He ran out to his old classic car, and above all his favorite, his 1964 Shelby GTO. He jumped in and thought “hmmm. If I take the freeway I am so gonna get caught in a butt loada traffic I'll take the back roads.” He pulled out of his garage and headed off the opposite way he needed to go. About half an hour to an hour later he arrived at a small studio and he ran inside showing the guard his ID even though he didn’t need too. “Man you cut that pretty damn close,” said a voice coming towards him.
“Are we ready?” Johnny asked picking up a guitar and walking out to the set.
“Yes we were waiting for you.” They both walked over to the set and they stood there for a minute. Johnny was in a band and he was damn good at what he did, he played electric and acoustic guitar. The band was made of four people, Johnny on guitar, Eamon Stewart on vocals and back up guitar, Nick Lawrence, and Denis Supan on bass. Together they were a rocking group but separate they were ok none but Nick really had a sense of tempo but they weren’t bad. They were shooting their first video with a new company. “Hey dude, guess who our director is.” Eamon said with a grin and a smirk.
“Who? Some one good I hope!’ Johnny laughed and saw Eamon’s concerned look
“This name ring and bells? LAUREN BERMAN?” Eamon said as Johnny looked at her and took off his guitar and went into the bathroom and threw up.
Phone call # 22 anonymous Subject: Patient #3789
D: Hello?
E: Hey doc!
D: Why hello there Ea-
E: No don’t say my name, Johnny might be on the line I can’t talk long.
D: What can I do you for?
E: It’s Johnny his conditions are getting worse, I don’t think we should test this medication with him and her.
D: Why not it is harmless.
E: That’s what you said about Paul and look it what happened to him. Oh crap I gotta go doc! Bye.
Zero woke up and saw his dad and a cop. His dad was in hand cuffs and Zero remembered then what happened. Zero looked at his dad and the next thing he knew he was about a mile away from his home. He looked around and got scared as he thought for a moment then remembered running past the cop and his dad and out the door. He looked to see where he was and then he got wide eyed and ran up the street to the one house he knew would help him. He ran and ran all the way up the hill and knocked on the door. A girl came to the door and she helped him into the house. “Please Savannah, you have to help me. Please I am begging you I don’t have anywhere to go. She looked at her best friend. Dirt and cuts covered his face, cuts from the bushes he had run through, and then she looked at the phone. “Hold on ok,” she went to the phone and she started calling people that she knew. “REALLY?! Ok well, thank you so much. I will have him over around 5 o’ clock ok? Thank you again, bye bye.” She looked back at Zero and walked over to him “I have a friend that will take you in ok?”
“Do I know them?” Zero asked tears welling up in his eyes.
“Honestly I think you know here better then anyone except herself.” Savannah smiled at Zero and made sure he ate and slept before he went over there. She helped him clean up and then her mom drove him over there. “Ok Zero, we are here are you ready?” Savannah asked slightly concerned.
“I guess,” he said as he got out of the car and walked with Savannah to the door. They knocked and when the door opened Zero couldn’t believe who offered to take him in. It was Lauren Berman!
Johnny looked at the mirror in the bathroom and remembered what had happened in his bathroom. He splashed water on his face and he washed his hands before he came out of the bathroom. He walked out and saw everyone warming up waiting for him. “Hey man, you ok?” They all asked in close unison. “Yea I’m fine you guys, don’t worry”
“Well, are you gonna be able to play?” Johnny looked over at the woman again he beauty came over him like a river over the earth. “Yea I’ll be fine, I guess.” He grabbed his guitar and began to tune it. He looked at her again then lowered his head again until she called to them. “Hey guys, Hi I’m Lauren and I’m directing your guys’ video ok. Just play normally and don’t worry about anything ok we will ad the clips in later of what else is gonna happen. ok? Alright.” She backed up and watched as the song they were playing started out with the melody supplied by the guitar. Johnny hit every cord, played every string and didn’t miss a beat it was a perfect play for him. Before they knew it they were done for the day. Johnny couldn’t stop watching her, the voice coming to him again “Come on mate, you know she will never feel the same for you. She didn’t when you were a kid did she what makes such a difference? Wow, you are a rock star who cares she is a director and you should see what Brian does.” Johnny tried to tune out the voice and then he saw a man walk over to Lauren and hand her a bouquet of flowers and kiss her. “Can you do that for her or are you just gonna be your self like you tried to do as a kid you remember what happened then? You remember Spain? Huh, did that ever work out for you? No it didn’t because he is better then you in every way she would never love about you no matter what. You know this you just wish not to accept this why?” said the voice again bringing back all those memories and he started to cry. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and he closed them until he felt Eamon shaking him. “He man you ok?” He asked, as he looked really scared for him. “Come on man, lets go get some food. What do you feel like you’re in the mood for?” Johnny shrugged and kept crying as he sat in the leather seats of Eamon’s beautiful blue Mustang.
Journal # 33 referring to voices Subject: My friends
The voices are starting to become dangerous they are allowing my body to do things during my sleep that I don’t know about I woke up this morning and there were directions to Savannah’s house. I haven’t talked to her in years. I don’t want to hurt her. Oh God please don’t let me hurt her. I also got a receipt for my credit card and there is a proof of purchase for a 6-caliber revolver. I don’t know if it has already come and it is in my house some where or if it hasn’t arrived I am scared. God SAVE ME!
End of Journal
Zero looked scared and stupefied as Lauren said Hi and welcomed them in. “So what is going on?” Lauren asked as she handed Savannah a cup of tea. “Well his dad was being arrested for something he didn’t know what, he didn’t even know if he was really being arrested.” Savannah said as she sipped her tea and looked at Zero outside the back door. “He seems really insecure right now, I don’t know if he needs some one to comfort him or if he just needs to be alone but he seems pretty bad.”
“What should I do then?” Lauren asked as she sipped her tea aswell.
“I’m not sure just don’t let him see you and Brian together I don’t know if he could take it. He might try and hurt himself.”
“Ok well I’ll try but I can’t guarantee anything because we hang out a lot.”
“Well trying is all I can ask for then, thank you Lauren I am sorry I had to ask you. I would take him but we don’t have any room.
“It’s ok Savannah we’ll be fine.” Lauren smiled and took Savannah’s cup and her own cup to the kitchen as Savannah went into the backyard to go check on Zero. “Hey are you gonna be ok here?” she asked really concerned for him.
“I don’t wanna be here. Why here? He asked as he cried and sobbed “I wanna go home why can’t I go home? I want my bear?”
“What bear?” Savannah asked as she looked into his eyes hoping her wasn’t already mentally hurt.
“The bear my mom gave me when I was little. The one I gave to Ashley Seals. I want my bear. “ He said as he cried into his hands resting on his knees.
“Well I promise I will try and get it back and I will come and give it too you ok?” she said as she almost cried and hugged him. He looked at her and smiled lightly through his tear stained face. “Thank you Savannah.”
Johnny looked out in the distance for a moment smiling lightly as he cried. He looked at Eamon and out of no where said “Thank you Eamon!” Eamon put his hand on Johnny’s head to feel if he was sick, but his temperature was fine. “Are you ok man you are really starting to scare me.”
“I’m fine, I just wanted to say think you. Thank you for being my friend for almost my whole life. We have done everything together and I thank you so much for it!”
“Dude you know I am always here for you know matter what I will always be your friend and I will support you in everything you do. You are like my brother, I love you man.” Eamon said as tears started to well in his eyes. ”Lets get some food huh?” They pulled into a small little Mexican food restaurant. “This place is the best thing since Jesus,” Eamon joked and put his arm around Johnny. They went up to the register together, but Eamon knew what to get for both of them. After they got their food they went and sat near the window. “So man, what’s up? Why ya all sad today? You seem like someone just ripped out your heart.” Eamon asked as he took a giant bite out of his burrito.
“I dunno just being around Lauren brings back a life time of memories and it hurts a lot. I remember I would listen to that old James Blunt song You’re Beautiful just because it reminded me of her. I used to sit at my dad’s computer and cry to that song because I knew that I loved her more then any one on this planet, but she would never love me.”
“Dude that’s really deep,” Eamon said taking another bite and splashing it down with some Dr. Pepper. “Ok dude the only thing I can suggest is that you stop being so damn emo and just ask her already.” Eamon suggested as he ripped out of the burrito like a lion that hasn’t eaten for days bites into an antelope.
“No, I think she is still going out with that Brian Smith guy from high school.” Johnny sighed as he bit into his corn burrito.
“Well dude then there is nothing I can say, but there are other fish in the sea Johnny boy.”
“Eamon there are no fish like here I am tellin you man. She is the cream of the crop when it comes to fish- I mean women.” Johnny said as he smiled.
Phone call # 34 anonymous Subject: Patient #3790
D: Hello?
B: Hello doctor?
D: Is this Br-
B: Yes it is…. I am sorry to be brief doctor but I believe this medication is doing something weird to her.
D: What is happening?
B: She is claiming to have voices in her head telling her to do things and telling her that she is not good enough, but she won’t tell me for what.
D: Hmmm…. Very interesting!
B: What? What is so damn interesting?
D: well the other subject is expressing the same side effects. He has his whole life; I find it strange that he has had them his whole life but not for your subject. Interesting.
B: Well Do- Dominique there is nothing I can do I am sorry.
D: What?
B: I am sorry but I have to go the subject is home.
D: ok good bye.
-Phone hangs up-
Zero sat in the backyard as Savannah left. Lauren came out and sat next to him and asked if he wanted something to eat. ”No thank you,” Johnny said sadly. Without anytime to withstand the impact she grabbed him in a giant hug and whispered to him. “I’m sorry I didn’t know anything like this would really happen to you.” He looked at her and saw her hugging him. He knew it was not the kind of hug he had always dreamt of but it would do. He knew that the hug that he wanted, the passionate hug that lead to a loving kiss, would never grace his presence because like the voice told him “Who could care for some one like you.” But right now he felt loved even though he knew it wasn’t the love he wanted it be. He looked down at her and hugged her back, “It might be the only chance I get to hug the woman of my dreams,” he thought as he sat there with his arms wrapped around her wishing this moment would never end.
When they finished lunch Eamon and Johnny went back to Eamon’s car and buckled in. “You sure you wanna play today? We don’t have to man it is just a video.”
“No man really I’m fine lets just get this over with,” Johnny said as he smiled at Eamon. “I just realize that no matter what happens I will never be with her even though since I was a kid my heart was always tellin me. Johnny That girl is your one and only, there is no other girl in the world like her.” Johnny smiled a bit and started to tear up. Eamon turned on the radio and it was playing James Blunt “You’re Beautiful” Eamon looked at Johnny and Johnny was broken down tears running down his face uncontrollably as he sobbed and sang;
“Your beautiful,
Your beautiful,
Your beautiful,
It’s true,
There must be an angel,
With a smile on her face.
When she thought up that I should be with you,
But it’s time to face the truth.
I will never be with you.”
Johnny sat there tears rolling down his face as he sang. “Eamon it’s pointless man. I have hope in hopeless situation. You have no idea how much this hurts man, I just wanna rip my own heart out and get it over with.” Johnny said. Their light turned green, and they drove into the intersection as a drunk driver came speeding into the same intersection. The drunk driver ran right into Eamon and Johnny on the passenger side.
Zero sat there in the spot where Lauren had hugged him for the next two or three hours. He just sat there crying, hoping, wishing, dreaming, but no matter how much wishing or hoping he did he knew his dream would never be a reality. “What is wrong with me. What does he have that I don’t? I love her, I would do anything, I would withstand all of hell to hold her hand what must I do to show her that,” he thought as he slumped and sighed. Lauren’s mother, Laura, came out onto the back porch and sat next to him as Johnny smiled at her and cried. She looked at him and opened her arms, “I know it hurts, I’m sorry I wish I could do something for you, but it’s not my choice,” she said to him as he laid slightly in her arms crying.
“What did I do wrong? Is there something I can do? Anything…I would die for her why can’t I prove that?” he sobbed as he looked up at her.
“I know your heart may call her and it may hurt for along time but I promise you no matter what things will get better, I promise! Ok?”
“Yea, I just wish things didn’t have to try and get better for me,” Johnny said as he breathed in heavily through his nose, paused, and strong out his mouth. She held him in her arms and let him cry. There was nothing else she could do; she just sat there with him as Lauren watched from her bedroom window.
Johnny opened his eyes and saw Eamon yelling at the drunk driver. “You almost killed us you retard,” Eamon yelled as he pointed at the car. Eamon’s car was thrashed, the passenger door ad been completely caved in, and the hood was completely missing. “HOW DO YOU EXCPET TO PAY FOR THIS?” Eamon roared then saw Johnny getting up. Eamon pointed at the guy then mumbled something as he ran to Johnny’s side. “Hey, are you ok? I am so sorry this idiot just… god are you ok?”
“Yea I’m fine my head is just a little loopy why?” Johnny looked at Eamon in a confusion as Eamon nodded and walked back to the drunk driver and started to yell some more. Johnny just laid there and stared at the sky. “What are you thinkin ‘bout Johnny?” Johnny looked around vigorously. “What’s the matter Johnny? Not remember me? Well what a shame… You need to stop thinking about her. She will never be yours. Give up!” Johnny took a small container out of his pocket and made sure Eamon wasn’t watching as he dropped two pills out of it and took them. He looked around, then laid back down when he didn’t hear anything. He sighed and laid back down as he thought about going home and ending it all right now all the reoccurring dreams and voices he couldn’t take it anymore. He hated the voice and he could never win in life. Every time he turns around something wrong happens. “Why can’t anything go right. Not as a kid, not now, not ever. When will things get easier Laura?”
Lauren watched Zero and her mom as she heard a voice “He is here to take your family. First he wanted you now he wants your family, what next your friends? Maybe he is here to kill you all. You must get rid of him,” she looked into their medicine cabinet and grabbed a small black container, almost looks like a film container and popped out two pills. He put one in her mouth and swallowed then repeated with the other. She closed her eyes for a moment then opened them. The voice wasn’t there any more she smiled and went into the living room. There was a knock on the door not to shortly after she had sat down. “Crap! I forgot about Brian coming over,” she thought as she went to the door. “Hold on, ok?” she lightly said as she went outside and got her mom. “Mom, I forgot I was gonna hang out with Brian today can I please go please?” Lauren begged as she looked at the door.
So what do you guys think?
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