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It's going to take awhile to change my mind set completely. But I feel more committed to doing it this time. I feel like I want it now... I'm realizing how this is wasting my time... How if I don't stop now, I'll be wasting even more...

I wonder what exactly I should tell the campus nurse... what detail should I go into... Will she tell my parents... I'm 18... can she tell them?

I think I'll call Sarah if I do go to the campus nurse... I need to go to the campus nurse... I need Sarah to quit worrying. I want us to have real conversations, about stuff other than what I've eaten, whether or not I've been exercising too much, whether I've taken laxatives, etc... I want to have a normal, "real" conversation with her. She deserves a real conversation. The way she's always been there for me. I need to do this for me and for her...

I just don't know anymore