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well tomarrow is my birthday -_- for some reason birthdays stoped being something to celebrate and started to become very depressing. there like a constant reminder of how little i have acheve in my life. maybe i just have a very depressed outlook on like. crying Also Im not sure i have any friends anymore. the ones i did have seem to always seem to have more intresting things to do that dont involve me emo or we end up just sitting there in the odd aquard silence till i feel like i've boerd them to death or they find somethng better. And i dont think im gonna make new friends cus im pretty much socially inept. I always so worried about what they think about me or if what i say is gonna affend them the i just keep to myself it just seems easier. but i think it just makes me look weird emo ugh i dont know what im gonna do. im in a rut ( i've been i this rut for quite alone time) and i can seem to find a way out emo hopefully things will change soon.