It's been a whole summer since I last wrote. I shall update on my doings, which mostly consisted of babysitting...
Babysitting: I'm done for the year and miss my kids. The five year old was rough to watch, I just adore the 2 year old! I loved the feeling of watching her. I loved it when she'd hug me, when she'd kiss me on the nose, when she'd get a book at bring it to me, when we'd play peek-a-boo from two seperate ends of a door. I just loved it. She made me feel so special, so needed.
Depression: it got worse. It runs strongly in Mom's side of the family and I got it. It got worse over the summer. I've gone to feeling so low and so down it's unbelieveable. And then I also hit apathetic moods, where I feel nothing. It's scary. My friends have helped me soo much, especially; Adrien, Juki, Dana, Mana, Melody, Cassie, and Kate. They're all so wonderful!
Love: Issue three of the summer. Nick... when it comes to him... it's like I don't feel a thing anymore. It's kinda frightening, that I could feel so much and then suddenly nothing. And then there's a guy that likes me. I'm not sure how much. We're best friends. I don't know how that's going to work. Will he ever ask me to be his girlfriend or just go on discreetly hinting that he likes me? And, even if he would ask me, I have no clue how I'd resopond. I just don't know. I don't want something that could hurt him or me. I'm sick of being hurt I don't want anymore of it. And at the same time... it's like I want someone who would love me. It might almost be fun... maybe... I'm too confused...
So that about sums up everything that's been going on. Le Sain (a guild) is up on here now thanks to Adrien, I hope the best for it! ^^
· Sat Aug 26, 2006 @ 01:16pm · 0 Comments