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I have returned to Gaia. xd

Everything in my life has changed so dramatically, I almost feel like a different person. With a baby on the way and still one more year of school ahead of me, it all seems kind of daunting, but I know I can do it.

Looking back on my life is kind of hard, because I know I made so many wrong choices. Things like spending my money frivelously, becoming physical with someone I knew I didnt want anything serious with, protection or not, and not really giving a damn about my grades have been weighing heavy on my mind.

With Thomas on the way, it's made me make some major changes. I opened a new bank account, have made plans so that I will graduate, and have overall tried to "smarten up" and become more responsible. I've always had a lot of responsibility, but I never took it very seriously. I know now that wont work. A hungry/wet/tired/dirty/etc baby isnt going to care or understand that I need sleep, want a coffee, or want to go out with my friends. He is my number 1 now, even though he's not born yet.

I can't work, because I went into labor prematurely, but at least it's kept me from smoking, or putting undue stress on my body while he's growing. I haven't drank at all since I found out, save for a teeny taste maybe 5 or 6 times during the whole pregnancy. Trying things my mom had made, etc. Never more than half a mouthfull, though.

I have roughly 6 weeks left until Thomas is born. It's getting sort of scary. I have no more child hood ahead of me. Nothing. It's not that that's what I want, but, the HUGE repsponsibility is ... well, freaky. I know I can do it, and he's going to be the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I still have lots of doubts.

Not that anyone really cares, but it deffinately felt good to get this stuff off my chest biggrin