As the title says, I'm paranoid. Another sample of teengaed angst, if you will. I can't be bothered.
Is it wrong for me to feel like I don't really like my father?
I mean, he's nice and all, gives me extra cash to spend when he can, helps me 'qiu qing' from my mother on occassion...
But he keeps finding faults with me. I see him as the persistant reviewer, not finding fault with my finished story, but finding fault with me as an individual. Heck, he doesn't even trust me with my relatives... Why? 'Cos my damnned tongue runs away with me. And yesterday, he said: "Do you know I was so scared of what you were saying while sitting with Uncle Steven and Uncle David?"
To quote Nightwish: God it hurts, give a name to the pain.
I really don't know what else to say... that I feel hurt? Angry? Ashamed? Riled? All of the above?
Yes... and worst of all, I'm not the kind of girl whose image I try to portray... the "heck care, I'm just going to shrug it off" kind.
Also, he keeps losing his temper with me. Maybe I delibrately subconsciously tempted him to... Since he hurt me through his brusque comment yesterday. Well, SERVES HIM RIGHT!
Yes, see, I'm such a spiteful and evil girl... Really, what else do I say here?
So what now? I'll carry on with my nonchalant facade, try to hold it up for as long as possible... until I collapse under the weight of its maintenance costs.
Life is such a b***h.
· Sat Dec 25, 2004 @ 10:50am · 0 Comments