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this journal mostly full of unwanted words.
however, from read these you may know how am I toward people.
what happen on december quite worth for me :)
1-4 december get announcement about my request to move.
to be honest i am so happy that i couldn't say any... almost crying and i decide to prepare all things.

6-9 december travel to City whee
night of 9 has try something bad & get hit by someone for date but refuse... sorry your plan fail also you are cheater & cunning. i feel bad for your woman & child. and you says having hidden affair is good! Shxt with that! <.<
I am not your victim.

12 december made up with my friends.
it's been long time not talk & we had lot of conversation ^-^

15 is my last day on my workplace. so, i will going to move ^-^
however people surprised about it, I will not going to blame anyone.
I try to learn how to forgive although some says I lost my pride & turn into bad mark in everyone's else.
let's says to do sacrifice in order get your high wish granted you need to pay off it equally high.
I think what i did from start is wrong but all I do here because order & the haters uses this trick to fight against me & they success & i let it pass since what i want is quit from that madness although i've got mark as stupid & loser from that unfair fight.
It's okay, I can still walk to next stage.

let the reality reveal all & the fact will say it out of loud whose fault.
If believe existence of God, God also knows who is wrong & judge the false ones with his way, right? even i will also have my karma if i get known as fault.
I lose something but i will also receive something. so it's fair enough.
no need to curse anyone.

even my dear person crying see me get toyed by that person & cannot accept the way they did to me.
but we will see what will happen in the end? will the end also tragic for me...again?
she want to make new contract from me after makes me into that madness.
oh well... what should i do?

20 december in midnight. my plan will start to active. however i do not care the result now. cause i've been always feel nightmare of my thought for entire times of my life.
if it should be destroy in front of my face. oh well.. what can i do? i also cannot fix but crying also cannot help.. everything won't change... so.. why?
tell me...

end of december, i decide to ignore all call & going to lock myself into my rooms & do not care anything anymore. i've feel sick with people & going to isolate myself for a month. to be honest, i do not want to hear any words from people cause I've been hurt too much. why do i need to take all pain and should not angry about it but you tell me to forget it? do you know what have you done? so you think i am human without mind & heart also keep call me stupid?
I am sorry, if I continue these sentences...
I may lost all my cool also my head & going to hate you more than now...

just let me calm & i will take moment to forget what all you says & do to me.





 
 
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