I want her to understand that I have a heart that she is thawing everyday, it was frozen to the point I was going to marry a man because he was good for me financially. I found love again and my cold heart has been thawing everyday with her. I didnt ask to fall in love with you, I just did. Now my worst nightmare has become real, I am feeling the pain of loss creep up into my mind as I slowly fall to my fear of failing you. My chest feels heavy, my head feels light, my legs numb, and my brain spinning. Why do I have to be the one who destroys everything? Even myself.