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A day in the life of an Oncology nurse Part #1:

I awake to that awful sounds of a ten car accident in rush hour, plane crashing, noisy neighbor, intense vibrator sounds that is my alarm. Its 5:15 AM. Hope you are enjoying your Sunday morning sleep because I am off to the hospital. I have 3 of the same patients form the past two days. My forth patient died yesterday as i was about to leave. I did my best to keep him comfortable in his final hours. I did not hold back on the meds. There was easily 20 crying family member in the room all looking to me. Some are looking for guidance, some for an explanation, some for blame, some for a cure and some for a shoulder to cry on. I must answer each and every look and try to work through so many conflicting emotions. He died peacefully at 7PM. The mixed emotion of joy for the end of suffering and sadness for the lose of someones loved one aren't easy to deal with. This is the daily struggle on an oncology unit. This same day, Saturday, another dying patients daughter walked down our hallway in her bright, unfitted, white lace wedding gown. She got married in her fathers room in front of her family, us nurse and most importantly her father. There were tears of joy and tears of sadness. They say a wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life. Her father would die 16 hours later. We lost two good people the cancer Saturday but we got to send one home with balloons, cupcakes and messages of encouragment after his last chemo! He won!

As for the rest of my patients that Sunday morning. Patient #1 is a sweat older gentleman with respiratory failure. He does everything he can for himself even though he is very sick. He thanks me for everything i do and puts a smile on my face.

Patient #2 is a elderly man with increased confusion that will likely not get better because he likely has a brain tumor. I have to put a catheter in him twice today and he doesn't ever complain. He also thanks me for everything I do. His bright blue eyes piercing though the negativity in my day. His loving wife, though she is tired, refuses to go home and sleep but also thanks the nurses for everything they do for her and her husband.

Patient #3 is a middle age woman who had surgery on her leg. She was declared stable to leave 3 days ago but refuses to leave because she doesn't think she is ready. She is refusing her medication and therapy. She is threatening to report me as her nurse for not giving her the medication she is refusing to take. She blames the cleaning staff for her messy room even though she makes it messy. She acts like she cannot lift her arms but there is nothing wrong with them. No thank you, not smile, no respect. She fakes a heart attack and makes herself vomit. A woman who is medically stable to leave treats the staff badly while the patients who are very sick cannot stop thanking us. I don't expect a thank you all the time but I do expect respect. She was like this all weekend and it took every last nerve in my body to stay calm and collected in the room and to smile.

Lastly Patient #4. Around halfway into my shift I get a man transferred from critical care. He is coming to me to die. His heart had stopped on Thursday and he needed CPR. He living but he never woke up. Today they decided to take him off his life support. Besides an oncology unit we are also the unit that the dying people come to. This 60 year old man came to me unresponsive, barely alive. No family was with him and I was told no one will be coming because his wife didn't want to see him in this condition and his son and him didn't talk anymore. As a nurse it is heart breaking to have a patient dying alone. We do our best to spend as much time with these patients as we can so they are not alone in their final hours and we hold back the tears when they do pass because we were their family at the end.

When I tell people I work on an Oncology unit I always get the same response, "Oh, thats so sad."

My answer to that statement is yes and no. I laugh and I cry at work. We take care of people and there family and we become some peoples family. We celebrate the good times with people and we morn the bad. After working in long term care for so long I have come to a realization when dealing with death. It is sad but it is also an honor to be able to care for some in their most vulnerable days. When they are weak we are their strength. We hear about their lives and their accomplishments and we get welcomed into their family. In no other area of nursing do you get so close to a patient and their family. My job is not easy but it is worth it.