I tried making some new Skype friends. It was a mistake. I'm a mistake. I suppose I truly am unlovable, unlikable, and perhaps the most hated person in existence. And yet, the only thing I can do is keep trying to show kindness to people. I have this hope that if I'm kind to others, maybe they'll be kind to me. Maybe people will give me a chance, and see me for who I really am, instead of seeing what they wish to see. And the more I try to claw out of this depression, the further I fall.

Except this time, I really don't know if I have the strength to pull myself back up. The small light of hope that I had of wishing someone would show me the same kindness, honesty, and respect that I've shown them is dwindling away.

I think this is the first step of me giving up, and it hurts in a way I can't explain.