Dear Gaia-ry,
So, my daughter's father talked a big game, but couldn't deliver like always. I don't know why I expect him to change or why I think anything I tell him would ever change his mind. Isn't it so much easier when the mother of your child, who has raised said child alone for nearly 2.5 years, invites you into her life, even if it means only for the holidays, birthdays, and small visits here and there? He thinks 5 years from now he's going to have his life planned out and "Be the man she needs me to be", but what he doesn't understand is at that point she will be around 7 years old, seeing all her friends running around with their fathers and she will likely resent him for not being around. I won't lie to her and tell her that he's away working and doesn't have the time or that he's dead.
She will know his intentions, plans, and dumb excuses and be able to tell for himself what a lousy piece of s**t he is. I'd never call him names around her or put him down at the least, but she doesn't need to be deceived about who he is and what's keeping him away. She can't hope for something that's never going to happen because he's never going to grow up. And by the time he does, he'll likely be on his death bed and worried about getting into heaven.
All I wanted was to let him start to grow a relationship with this beautiful little girl. Even though he left us alone for 2 whole years and more, I was willing to forget all of that, push my resentment toward him away, and simply let him fall in love with her. She deserves a father in her life, but she doesn't deserve his stupidity and heartless selfishness on top of it all. I will be Mother and Father as long as she lets me and I can only hope that will be good enough for both of us. I can't imagine the heartache she's bound to go through just because of this b*****d.
Chris, go rot in hell. We don't want your money or your name. I don't want your love or sex. All I wanted was to give you the chance at something nobody will be able to do; Let you feel the unconditional love your child would show you. So ******** you. No strings attached and you still walk away? What is wrong with you?!
I hope someday you look back on all the hell you put us through and just stay away because no excuse you give will ever make up for it and the truth will just send her through the heartache I'm attempting to keep her from now, even at the expense of my own comfort. I've never wished for you to stay away, but now I do.
Congratulations. You're off the hook.
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A Shimmering Tale
A single parent trying to love the life she's been given and avoid the stress that random people can bring.
ShimmeringPheonix
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