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Journal de Jour
A place for random entries. Hopefully humourous, or interesting. Enjoy.
should i fess up?
My friends started a facebook group that is like a book club.
it's really sweet they invited me in.
reading really was the biggest hobby i had.

until this MPS started up.
it affects my left trapezius. which is a muscle that runs from the top of your neck (skull meets vertebra) to your shoulder and down your back more than half way down the ribs.

i get really bad headaches, and sometimes it makes my eyes a little blurry (or high contrast black and white or plaid things look like they're moving a bit).
today, i told my dad "what you can't appreciate is that there's a pirate on my back stabbing me with daggers."

the pain was radiating up my shoulder blade and down the underside of my arm and into my palm and ring finger.

muscle spasms.

i pretty much gave up reading.

oh i can read for about 20 minutes at a time. but no longer.
i also gave up drawing, and a lot of things that require you to lean over your work.
(which a lot of my hobbies did..... )

i take daily walks now outside in nature. i still play piano. i watch a lot more asian dramas (because i don't have to lean to listen to the language spoken. listening practice is important... especially when i can't be reading a text book or practicing writing).

part of me wants to fess up to my friends. that i don't read anymore.

i mean, some of them know a little. the close ones know i get headaches. a few might know i'm on medicine.
but in general no one really knows.

i was always that girl who carried a book in her purse. you know, like a security blanket. whip it out in times of public waiting (much like people whip out their phones to "look busy" in public nowadays). even in the face of smart phones, i usually had a book with me.

nowadays

i have this running joke inside my head. "how long have you been reading that?"
i've since brought the book out of retirement now that i've been seeing a doctor, and have also been taking my mother to the doctor.
i started reading The Joy Luck Club last year, probably around April.
I'm only about 120 pages in.
No lie.
Because I've only pulled it out and read in doctor offices. Because I don't read anymore.

I can't hold a book up anymore. I have to support my arms.
I can't read for more than 10-20 minutes.
(i also can't use my arms to hold myself up while reading on my stomach. that hurts a lot..... whereas i used to read in my bed for hours... now i limit myself on how long i do that as well. because pain.)

it's really frustrating.





 
 
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