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If you let Social Media tell it, 2016 was a very trying year for many...and I agree to an extent.
Society, more specifically race relations, shattered this year but as for me, myself, 2016 wasn't bad at all. Some good things happened, some bad things happened...everything was pretty standard. I look over 2016 now and I feel very....grey. Almost blasè about the whole year.
burning_eyes Professionally burning_eyes
I started 2016 with a brand new job, a brand new job that I didn't necessarily want but I decided it was a time for a change after 3 years at the Warwick. I remember from the JUMP I was counting down the days until I could leave. I committed to one year and next week marks my one year anniversary rofl So it's time to start job hunting.
I can say that I had some rough patches professionally getting written up twice and basically having my compentancy and intelligence pretty much questioned. I won't delve too deep into that situation again, but it was definitely one that stands out.
Not too mention in this year alone I held down two jobs for 8 months which started to cause a barage of health issues and unfortunately, I feel like I can't really say that I left with anything more than what I came with. No real friends. No new skills. No nothing. BUT I did get a taste of the inner workings of the start-up/tech industry and how it can work and I can say that I was impressed and intrigued. 3nodding
burning_eyes Health burning_eyes
Another somewhat trying year, better than the previous (by a long shot), but still trying. Sometime in late Spring/early Summer I stopped taking my medicine and starting to feel sick...all the energy I was putting out between two jobs didn't make it any better. I distinctly remember the tipping point being photoshoot week at work where I worked pretty much 14 days straight with little sleep, but then it was Memorial Day. I went to Mom's with Rob and pretty much slept the entire time I was there. Then throughout June I started to feel light headed, passed out once or twice, etc etc. When I got back on my medicine, they gave me Genvoya - an "upgraded" version of my old meds which gave me INTENSE stomach pains...so I wasn't really taking that either. I went back to Stribild and instantly started to feel better taking it, only to find out that I built some type of resistance to it after not taking it for awhile. So, now I'm on a 2-pill a day regiment and have been for the past few months.
Also, during that time through the two jobs, write-ups and Genvoya struggles...I had intense anxiety and light depression partially due to exhaustion. It was a really tough time. crying
Also, my little skin-tag surgery that happened at the beginning of December. I was originally told it'd be a three week healing process only to find out that it's more like a 5-6 week process to get everything looking and feeling back to normal. I just closed out week 4 and I'm just becoming more optimistic that everything's going to go just as expected. Ugh.
Here's to hoping that 2017 will be smooth with no health issues.
burning_eyes Friendship burning_eyes
I'm not exactly sure why this is a category but it is. I found the communication between Eion and I to be a lot better as we help each other get through the work day...which is NECESSARY. But outside of that, we don't communicate too much. One thing I've always appreciated about Eion was the way we communicate with each other is always very easy. Sometimes we're not on the same page, but it always works out in the end.
I feel that communication with Marlon was never great, but it only got worse this year. At one point we always communicated in a separate chat with just the two of us, shootin' the breeze and trying to keep each other updated with happenings in our daily lives, but that was a very stark change that happened when he moved into Omar's old house and never told me. I swear I asked him 5 billion times where he was moving, where he was looking, etc etc etc (as I recall, I got these answers quite readily the last time he and Kavon were moving. I starkly remember them sitting in my house and us having a whole conversation about it) but for some reason, this time it was kept a secret and I actually heard about it from Eion, who at one point ran into Marlon and got the information directly from him.
Then after a while I started to develop feelings of envy, towards Marlon specifically. It's actually super difficult ot admit this and even write about it...so I won't razz But I really don't want these feelings to persist. It isn't worth it.
4laugh Travel 4laugh
I've been very blessed to be able to travel as much as I have this year. We started the year off in Vegas toasting on the strip to the New Year. March came our European adventure that included London, Glastonbury, Stonehenge, Birmingham, and Paris. April was Deep Creek 3. ATL twice the year in May and December to see Mom. August was Minneapolis with James to party with Ava. and October/November came Chicago for Halloween and Boston to hang out with Fave. So I took quite a few flights in 2017 and I hope I can keep the traveling going into 2017.
burning_eyes Society burning_eyes
It's been a really rough year for society. From the many killings of unarmed black men that made headlines, to the BLM protests that resulted, and the most recent election making Donald ******** Trump out new President-Elect. Not to mention the Sandy Hook shooting that ended in the death of dozens of Elementary School children, the Orlando shooting at Pulse Night Club that killed dozens of minority LBGT youth, the Charleston shooting killing 9 black people while they praised the Lord in his home, and the Isis attacks that happened in Brussels, Paris and Berlin. Pulse really fuked me up. As a fellow minority LGBT youth, it's hurtful that someone would cause such a nightmare of a scene in a place where people just went to have a good time. That could've easily been me or any one of my friends.
Also, we lost a lot of great spirits this year from celebrity deaths including Prince & George Michael and deaths that really hit home like my dear Kenneth.
gonk Relationship gonk
As I sit here at the end of 2016...the only thing I can say about this is that Rob and I's relationships has been....annoying. Before a day or so ago I was feeling rather optimistic. Hey, we only realllly broke up once and fought maybe all of three times which is so much less than previous years, but he came with the bullshit again only to say the following day that he said a lot of thing wrong and that he loved me. I asked today if i'm still moving in and he ignored the question. Just very frustrating. (update: but on the evening of 1/2/17 after spending the entire weekend with him, he told me that I was moving in as soon as the room was done.)
As far as our relationship goes, I feel like I've tried everything. To be here 100% only for him to be out and talkin' to other niggas while I'm at home waiting for him...or to be a little more hands off and live my own damn life to have it thrown back in my face in some way, shape or form.
I'm pretty dumbfounded about it all.
I'm actually sitting in his room right now. Marlon is having a function at his house, I've been on the fence about going all week, but I opted not to go because 1) everytime I go somewhere, I come back to him hating me and 2) he doesn't like Marlon and I don't want to make him do something he doesn't want to do. Last time we were at Kavon's old apartment somewhere in ******** Maryland, he was super anti and 3) I've been 80% over them as of late. And the last conversation I had with Marlon and Omar lowkey pissed me off. We're just not on the same mental plane. whee
I'm feeling fairly...sad and disappointed in myself for a myriad of reasons and I find myself becoming more and more drained as I write this post. Partially due to hunger. So...I think I will due two more posts. One about my current sentiments and another on my 2017 Resolution and Goals. As of right now...I"ll just post this...and stylize and make some edits a little later.
Amen. heart
Ryo
Mood: Disappointed sad Music: "One More Try" - George Michael from Faith
Ryonosuke · Sun Jan 01, 2017 @ 03:39am · 0 Comments |
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