Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I was up late one night. That's when I saw Sonther was online. Not only that, but he had sent me a trade request. I accepted the trade, and saw that he was giving me some new items out of the kindness of his heart, I can't express how generous he is, or how grateful I am.

I had entered my password twice, and got an "ok". Now I was just gonna wait for Sonther to do the same. However, it seemed he was afk for the moment. I closed the trade tab, and tried to find something else to do. It's a shame too. I'll have to explain that I screwed up the trade request, and that he'll need to re-send it.

I went to the chatrooms as none of my other friends were online at the moment. The GCD was there as normal. The perv room was there as normal. But I was drawn towards another chat. This was simply called "Glitter Blue"

In this chatroom, two girls named "Chef Zeke LeDeltrie" and "Tech-Nik Cobra" were chatting about Game Of Thrones. I joined in their conversation, asking if the show was good, because I've never actually seen it before. Tech-Nik Cobra responded by saying that Game Of Thrones "is the s**t".

Now, I know that saying something "is the s**t" means that it's good. However, "s**t" in any other context is always a negative. "s**t" is the thing you DON'T want. So how this whole "being the s**t" thing became positive, I have no idea. I decided to poke fun at this a little by pretending not to get their slang. I was like, "It's the s**t? Does that mean it's bad?" and "s**t = Bad ... right?"

They corrected me on this, saying that "it's the s**t" means it's good. Obviously they didn't get that I was poking fun at that phrase, but it was all cool. I pretended to "get it now".

But then they asked me where I was from. I responded with an honest answer. I'm American, and I told them that. However, they didn't believe me. According to them, anyone who's American HAS to know this slang, so my "unfamiliarity" with it meant that I was a liar. I wasn't American enough in their eyes.

Then they were all like, "You're a liar, therefore you're a bad person, so get out of our chatroom." At first, I thought they were kidding. When asked if they were serious, they said they WERE.

Let me back this up: They want me to leave the chatroom, all because I "didn't know" a certain slang term. And this somehow means that I'm not American?

Yeah... They were kinda jerks to me.

I left... for now. I thought I could go to the perv room and make fun of these losers behind their backs. The only other people in the room were "wolfWake_F-U-R-R-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D" and the afk "Archangel Forcas". I told Wolf that the people in the Glitter Blue room were assholes to me. And I thought of a really funny idea. "What if we were to bring an army of people from our chatroom over there, and troll them for the lulz?" Unfortunately, you can't build an army with 2 people.

Wolf read the chatlog in Glitter Blue. She saw what they were saying to me. When she saw it herself, she agreed that these girls were jerks. Wolf told me to come into the Glitter Blue chat with her, but not to say a thing. She wants me to watch her talk with these people.

Wolf started calling out "Chef Zeke LeDeltrie" and "Tech-Nik Cobra" on their bullshit. She said that "Despite claiming to be over 30, they're really immature, making judgements on people just because they didn't know a certain slang." Of course, Chef Zeke over here chose to prove her immaturity some more by telling us that we were going on her ignore list for criticizing their actions. Do Wolf and I look like we care though?

So then Wolf said something that was really wise of her. She told those two to make a Private Chat, so they can go accuse people of not being American by themselves, and leave everyone else alone. So they made this Private Chat, which they called "The Glitter Blue". They added a "the" this time.

Chef Zeke told Cobra that "she'd be back when the troll and her little whore are gone". (Wow. Wolf was right about immature.) She went off to presumably throw a hissy fit in the Private Chat, and Cobra just stayed silent for a long time. That's when I got an unexpected surprise: Sonther. He came into the chatroom when he saw I was here.

Boy was I glad to see Sonther again. I told him about how I screwed up the trade request, and that he'd need to send it to me again. However, he said that the trade DID go through. I hoped that this wouldn't be like my trade with Crystal Princess a long time ago, where the third item just disappeared into cyberspace. I looked through my inventory again, surprised to see the items that Sonther gave me were there now.

After that, I told him about how I was writing a story that was due next month, but was procrastinating too much. That's when he volunteered to be my proofreader. That would be awesome to have a friend proofread it. My grammar and spelling is normally pretty good, but I do make the occasional mistake. It would just be fun having my trap-friend read my stories regardless.

Chef Zeke came back into the room, rolling her eyes at how Wolf and I never left. I was instead making myself at home by chatting with Sonther. Though when she came back into the room, Sonther went afk. Cobra told just to "be gone already" or something like that.

I decided to try negotiating. I told them that I could forgive their rudeness earlier. We can start over, and have a fun chat. I even continued from our first conversation saying, "So you said Game Of Thrones is good, right?" For some reason, I thought being nice to them would work. Any sane person would've just grabbed the hand I reached out to them. They continued telling Wolf and I to go away.

I responded with a "Why are u so meen?" (I thought it was cute to spell it like that.), expressing that my willingness to bury the hatchet with them was genuine. So then they were like "Okay, Kyo" And I thought that would be it. We were cool now. Chef Zeke and Cobra started a new conversation about ... dildos. They were talking about which kinds felt good, and how long the dildos they had were.

I had nothing to add in this conversation. All I did what go "OMG" "WTF" and "LOL". I asked them if this was a joke, or if they were being serious. They said they were serious, which would make this all the more hilarious. They also talked about writing erotic web books and their fetishes of "dragon mpreg" (The hell did I just stumble into?)

When talking about their kinks, these girls could TYPE. They had several paragraphs full of this stuff, all pumped out in a matter of seconds. I couldn't keep up, let along write anything significant. This chatlog was now full of them talking about their favorite dildos and whatnot. Wolf noticed me trying to be part of the conversation, and told me something. She said that they're trying to drown me out by typing the chat full of stuff. This was their plan to get me to leave. I couldn't believe the nerve they had. I thought everything was good now, but it seems they stabbed my back once it had been turned.

I left the public Glitter Blue for now. There were a lot of people in the perv room, so I decided to chat with some people there. And that's when I remembered that whole "troll army" idea I had earlier. It would still be a funny idea to bring a whole bunch of people in there, and maybe do the chat-crowding to them instead.

I pitched the idea of bringing the chat to their gates, and was surprised with how many people were in. Of course, Wolf was in. She's basically my second-in-command here. But the entire chatroom of about 9 to 11 people had joined in as well. Now THIS was an army!

We stormed into the public Glitter Blue, simply chatting like we always do, now with more gusto than before. It was like a party in there. We didn't stop until there was a TIDAL WAVE of us just having a good time. Any posts that Chef Zeke or Cobra may have made were all drowned out for sure. This was our chat now!

There was this one girl whose username I forgot, but everyone nicknamed her "Arctic". She was the one soldier that wasn't in line. We were all having a regular chat, whilst going at rapid speed. Arctic was full-on SPAMMING. She would especially spam the phrase "Send n***s, Daddy!" Because of that, she got banned. But she wasn't banned for long. Arctic was back with a new account called "SENDNUDESDADDY33". I just called her Daddy33 for short.

It was then that she realized the strategy we were using was not going to work with spammers. We were simply trying to drown out Chef Zeke and Cobra with regular, perfectly legal chat stuff. (They did that to ME. Why not to THEM? lol) But of course Arctic/Daddy33 would not just cooperate quietly. She called our targets "cunts", and got into an argument with our own men about whether "c**t" counts as a joke or not. But that was okay. This debate still kept the sea of chat flowing.

Wolf was the only one directly talking to Chef Zeke and Cobra. Everyone else (including me) were just trying to have fun with a rapid chat. Wolf told those two that, "This is a public chat. Everyone's perfectly allowed to be here." So there was nothing they could do.

At one point, Chef Zeke tried to insult me by saying that "All of my friends are just jerks, and that I'm weak for bringing them into this." She also told us we would go to hell, and she was putting all of us on her ignore list. I simply resonded with, "Kyotsuke Akihime doesn't give a damn about who you ignore."

If anything, Chef Zeke's reaction was a sign that we were winning. We're trolling her. We WANT to get a rise out of her. By saying how "we're weak, and all going to hell", she's showing just how butthurt she is. We've successfully pissed her off, and took over her chat. All she can do is insult us in fits of immature desperation. And for some reason, she thinks we care who's on her ignore list.

And with that, Chef Zeke LeDeltrie and Tech-Nik Cobra had no choice but to leave the chatroom. Our raid was too much for them. They went into the private Glitter Blue, leaving us with our newly conquered territory. Wolf said that they're probably saying bad things about us behind our backs in that room, but I told her it doesn't matter. That's their room, and this is our room!

Everyone continued talking in the public Glitter Blue for a while. Chef Zeke and Cobra never came back from their hasty retreat, so I declared us the winners. We won the battle of Glitter Blue, and Wolf was happy to hear. I was a successful general in the flame war, with Wolf as my lieutenant and advisor. To the victor goes the lulz!

I never thought I would ever do it. I now know what it's like to be a troll. To be fair, I tried being nice to those two before. They brought this upon themselves. And even now I'm willing to forgive them. Even after they were so rude to me, and tried to drown out my speaking. I gave them their punishment, so things COULD be cool now.

Of course, myself and all those who partook in the battle are now on their ignored lists. They'll probably continue to rot in their echo-chambers thinking the worst thoughts about us. I guess I don't need to tell them that I forgive them. I can just tell anyone who reads this journal.

Most people I meet on Gaia are a lot nicer than they are. Of course, there's the occasional Beary, but I get along with most on here just fine. I hope I'll never have to command a troll army again. Just that once is enough. But until then...

Be Right Back, World!