Ruffy, this question is cruel. "Do men even get hurt?" This is like asking, "Are men human?" Do you realize how demeaning this question is? I mean, what is your goal here? Are you trying to be provocative? Have you been hurt by a man who appears not to have a heart, and you're venting your anger and pain by insulting half the human race? What are you doing?
If you have boys and are seriously asking this question then God forgive you. If you really believe they don't hurt, you absolutely will destroy their vulnerable little hearts. You won't be able to avoid it, because you can't love as human that which you do not believe is human. On top of this, they will have to deal with an even more cruel reality: Mum doesn't care. How could she? She does not know her boys really are human beings. You have no idea what excruciating agony a hateful mother can cause her son. If you are not able to see that men have feelings, I urge you to work this out before you have children. I am the son of a woman who did not take this step and she has spent my life making me pay for the crimes of other men. How do you think I'm doing? Think I might have some problems? You got it!
I'll state what really ought never to come under question: Yes, we men are human. Yes, we get hurt. I think the reality is that many men around us are profoundly wounded, but do not know how to engage their inner world. Thus they are often unaware that they are hurt. Those who do know something is wrong do not typically know what to do about it. So of the many deeply hurting men out there very few discover the path to healing.
What accounts for this situation? I think the causes are partly biological and partly social. Biologically speaking, the emotional centers in a woman's brain communicate well with her language centers. She is naturally more able to notice, work through, and express her feelings than her male counterpart. This is harder for men. Socially, as others have already mentioned, it is not really acceptable for a man to speak in any way that reflects weakness on his part. An astute commenter already pointed out that while women have many support networks available to them, we men have next to none.
Women play an important role in socializing men because men usually try to become that which women will find attractive. From what I have seen, women do not often like men who regularly and comfortably express vulnerability. Men take note and act accordingly. Of course, being vulnerable, being weak, being confused -- these are inevitable elements of our humanity, male or female. Sometimes we are not strong. Sometimes we do not know the way. Sometimes we need comfort. This is just human. Call me bitter, but in our culture, and in most, men do not have permission to be human, and usually, it's women who won't allow it. Sorry ladies, but this is how I see it.
And so it goes. The inner world of men is virtually unknown to us all. In fact, most of us, like Ruffy, doubt this world even exists. How nice for us men.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/459374
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