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This seemed to be the buzzword for this weekend.
I'm sitting in the airport waiting for a delayed flight. My flights always seem to be delayed when trying to leave ATL...it's always raining...or whatever.
Anyway, the topic of companionship came up several times throughout the weekend in various formats. I think I'll describe each time it has been brought up and how it kind of relates to my life.
emo Mused Magazine emo
Well, this wasn't through Mused, it was through another online publication, but Drew commented on it and it popped up on my timeline...and of course I associate him with Mused. Brand Building, gotta love it. Anyway, it was an article about a gay who almost had a heart attack and broke down crying when they asked him for his emergency contact and he broke down and cried because he didn't have anyone to count on. No companion to entrust his life with.
One particular quote stood out. He said that he watched people around him get in relationships and he felt as if they were "settling" and that experience made him feel that maybe they were settling...maybe they found someone who actually gives a f**.
I feel that sometimes me or even my friends or peers feel like I'm "settling" with Rob. At times I get a little too caught up in the thought that I'm (almost) 25 years old...dating a man 15 years older than me and getting ready to "settle down" with him in a way. It made me think that being black and gay is tough, and it makes the chances of finding a good match even more difficult. I really do think I'm better off where I am. I know at times I want to be young and wild and free....and the whole "considering other people's feelings" thing and feeling regretful for staying out too late gets old....but those feelings are fleeting and come in passing. It really isn't too bad...and to be honest, I don't have anyone to be young and wild and free with anyway. It would be better to keep friends in relationships.
emo Twitter Drama emo
Ugh...I had the unfortunate pleasure of watching a relationship dissolve on twitter. Kion, a popular twitter gay who I've seen pop up my timeline quite a few times but never cared to follow him, assaulted his boyfriend and posted photos of the aftermath on twitter as well as texts, videos, and n***s of his now ex-boyfriend...horrified that he had been cheated on. It was a real mess.
Firstly, whether you been cheated on or not, that's not what you do. That's not how you carry on. I was disgusted to see someone act in such a manner and it proves that he wasn't as invested in the relationship as he had led on. It's one thing to tweet about being cheated on...it's another thing to assault you boyfriend, but to do BOTH...AND post photos on twitter about it is horrendous. It's a true testament to your character and it was a sad sight to see.
Apparently his boyfriend had been hooking up with random niggas and he found out about it, posted the texts on twitter all the while calling him all types of hoe, slut, etc. He also smashed his boyfriend's phone and called one of the people he was hooking up with who apparently stated that he had no clue the boyfriend was in a relationship and the sex sucked. Tuh....niggas lie...all the time when put in a situation like that. After doing a bit of digging, I found that the boyfriend was actually a kind soul, with a high sex drive. It seemed that he really cared about Kion, but Kion was difficult to deal with at times. Kion stated that he tried to end the relationship several times because he didn't trust him...but I feel like...if you're going to stay...at least put in the effort to make things better....not revert back to what may have caused the issue.
Of course my first thought was what did Kion do to make this boy cheat like he did. According to the boyfriend, Kion was cheating too, sneaking up in mofo's DMs, and expressed a dissatisfaction with the double standard in their relationship. He never backed down from the allegations of fukin' around, but held to the fact that there was two sides of the story...which I completely understand.
Long story short, I feel really bad for the boyfriend. I could identify with the frustration and to be honest, he was me....a few months ago. Luckily, Rob was not Kion. There are some key differences within our stories though.
1) I had a threesome, like he did, but I wasn't fuking with multiple random niggas. 2) And he and Kion were living together and had been since September, I just started staying with Rob in January, and again in April.
I would never do all that while living with my man, at that point any issue we have, we have to squash quickly since we have to be in each other's face all the time. But I could understand his frustration. ESPECIALLY if he found out that Kion was cheating. I remember when I found out that Rob was entertaining and going to see these boys...and ESPECIALLY when I found out that him and Demario had a somewhat intimate relationship that dated back to 2013 when he told me he was just a friend...I. Was. DONE. TOO DONE. I was sitting here bearing the brunt of his tirades while he's still entertaining and seeing these other boys. After that I peeped more s**t....texts about homos wanting their booty ate and those "When am I going to see you again?" texts....bull s**t. I'm kinda pissed that he has YET to own up to any of my allegations....ugh...but he knows I'm right...which is why we are where we are now.
Anyway, I sent the boyfriend a little note (we follow each other on twitter) about how I stand by and support him and hate when his ex did. And I pray for his healing and growth. I remember when Rob and I broke up, I felt dark, alone, and defeated....with all the humiliation he went though...I know he's feeling that and more. I was contemplating therapy as is he...and I think it could help.
Good part is, a lot of the other popular twitter homos commented on how disgusting and pointless his actions were. The only ones supporting him where he d**k riding twitter fans. I don't know what it is about twitter and IG but give someone a few thousand followers and the d**k-riding gets out of control. Bai talk2hand
emo Dondi emo
He posted a stauts on twitter about not wanting emotions to play a part in his companionship. He just wants someone to have adventures with and do fun stuff....and apparently have sex. I started to think....Isn't that what relationships should be about anyway? As I said earlier, the whole being considerate, feeling bad about coming in late, or taking weekend trips with friends is so....tired. I mean, ideally...the person you'd be having adventures and experiences with, combined with great sex would be the person you'd be in a relationship with...right? I guess I understand where he's coming from though. Apparently, from what I could tell, his last few situations had attitudes when he wasn't being completely considerate of their wishes, flashback to when I had them over my house last August.
emo Mom emo
Mom expressed how she was so frustrated with her life due to multiple circumstances varying from being out of work for so long, having issues with AT&T and the wifi service, and feeling lonely in Atlanta. She told me she doesn't have companionship and feels alone.
I felt bad...you never want your mom to feel lonely and alone. The only real solution would be for me or Khalia to move down there. Ugh. I don't feel ready to live in Atlanta but I'd do it for Moms. Maybe I should start searching down there. I dunno. Or asking Khalia if she'll be going down there after she graduates...which won't be until December xp
The perfect guy for me for my mom would be fun, funny, patient, friendly & personable, kind, giving, good with his hands, open-minded, forward-thinking, honest, selfless, making at least 65k/year and loving what he does, active & adventurous and around 60 years old. Where is he? I pray he's coming soon crying
All of this really helps put my current relationship into a good perspective. Of course, I hope we last forever. Sometimes I think....is Rob with me for companionship? Then I think naw, he loves me for real...for a multitude of different reasons. So we're good with that.
ninja Neville & Marlon ninja
So Neville hit me up this weekend and told me about his current issues with Marlon.
Apparently, Marlon moved out of Neville's house in beginning-mid May and left his room for Jada, who needed a place to stay immediately. So Jada never showed up and May never paid May rent since Jada was apparently supposed to pay for it.
Part two to the story is that he left Marlie in the room for days unattended to and the dog pissed and s**t everywhere and he can't rent it out soon enough for to collect money for June rent. Neville feels like Marlon has been shady and unresponsive and "bullshitting" him.
Womp.
I told him that doesn't sound like Marlon so I spoke to Marlon about it and there it is. I hate when friendships end over dumb stuff so I hope they work it out. I think the whole thing is kinda dumb which is why I'm not adding much detail.
In other news...Rob said they have no forgotten about the second speeding ticket and since I missed that court date...they might have a warrant out for my arrest. Yippee...and to be honest, it would make since for that to take a while to filter down the pipeline to Philadelphia police. Add that to the list of things I can't take in my life right now. Ugh.
I'm sitting here on this plane typing the rest of this and I'm thinking how it's going to be kinda tough to wake up early and hit the gym...despite how much I absolutely need to. I'm also expecting to hear back from Lionbridge tomorrow evening sometime. They said up to 24 hours after the exam deadline, which is tomorrow at noon...but we'll see.
I'm also thinking about all the attractive homos with great bodies and cute faces that are single. I figure they're single by choice, however...I bet it must be difficult to sift through the amount of bullshit a** people that throw themselves at them to find someone who really likes them for who they are and not what they look like or have access to. I guess it's a double-edged sword...but it's not something I have to deal with.All I know is that most of the attractive homos on IG/Twitter/FB are single....which has it's advantages and disadvantages...which I won't list here sweatdrop
And I really need to find out what's causing these rashes.
Alas, Love ya.
Ryo
Mood: Decent whee Music: "Lonely" - Janet Jackson from Rhythm Nation 1814
Ryonosuke · Wed May 27, 2015 @ 11:36am · 0 Comments |
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