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It always feels weird
When you lose touch with someone
When they waltz out of your life
and you're sitting there wondering what happened
Or even if you know, you wonder how you let it get that far.

And I do wonder how I came to hate you.
I hated you before you cheated on me.
I hated you before you did anything wrong.
I had made a crucial mistake in letting you into my life.

But you and I parted like the seas nearly a year ago.
So why do I think about how things could have gone better?

Why do I care, when I've found better things in better people?
Why do I care when I've found that i'm actually living,
Living in the means that you would never have wanted to live.

Its weird.
Its weird just to reflect.
To reflect and think about where we could have been now if things hadn't reached such a boiling point.

WOULD WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS BY NOW?
probably.

You were a horrible person, but you weren't the worst person to waltz into my life.
I used to think so highly of you.

But things change, people change, we grow up and we decide what we need and what we don't.
I got all I could get from you. Then you were stagnant, and I was not.
I wanted to continue to grow and be better and do everything in my power to continue on the right path.

And you didn't.
You were satisfied.
You wanted to stay on that train.
And I wanted to jump.

SO I DID.

And yet still, whenever your tracks come back around, but your train is nowhere to be found,
I wonder what could have changed. What you could be doing.
Were you really as stagnant as I felt you were?
Are you still on that dead end path of a life of complacency?

DO YOU?
Do you wonder what tragedies I've endured?
Did you wish for them?
Do you think I've changed to the point where you cannot recognize me?

I WONDER.